To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

I think if this is the culture in the team, that might be your answer. Your posts are very abrasive and there’s a huge sense of blame and judgement in them with no willingness to explore the bigger picture.

Don't think I've ever worked anywhere where 20 women have all been in tears at some point. Sounds very unusual to me. Which makes me wonder if they're is something about the role /workplace which is happening here.
It is preferable to maintain even emotions and usually quite professionally undermining to lose control in any way (temper, tears etc) but I've never had the scenario you're describing and I've worked in some pretty full on places. If I was in your shoes and thought everywhere was like this if also wonder wtf was going on. Not convinced it's 'women' though given how weird this sounds to me.

The main times I have seen women crying at work is due to arsehole bosses bullying them. Any boss male or female that thinks it’s ok to make a someone cry is utterly unprofessional.

No. This is nothing to do with women trying to be men. It's to do with me feeling crying at work - men or women - is unprofessional.

And that I just noticed there is a trend and is often appears to be women.

Is it because you’re their boss 🤭

@TopCatsTopHat I never said all 20 had cried I said the majority of the 20 have.

Well op, you sound like a real treat.

Some women literally cannot hold in their emotions.

I am a crier and cannot stop it when the feeling starts, no matter how hard I try or where I am. I really wish I could as it's embarrassing and would somewhat agree unprofessional at work.

Well the only timetwo times I have cried in the workplace is when my boss screamed in my face that I was a fucking idiot because I had asked him a question about how to do something completely new. he screamed in my face so much then when i tried to walk away followed me and shut the door so i could not escape.

The second time i cried in the workplace was when the line manager (same job) started screaming at me that it was a fucking disgrace the firm had hired me and not an English person.

Oddly enough I am an employment lawyer and this was an employment law firm.

I reckon the workplace is the problem.

What kind of work is it? I work in therapeutic services with vulnerable families and we’ve all had the odd cry sometimes. It’s very sad work. And it’s a very supportive environment where if you were having a sad time at home, your friends would want to support you. I appreciate the boundaries may be different in a corporate environment but I don’t really like the ‘stupid women’ tone to your post. People have emotional reactions to difficult things. That’s normal and healthy.

How do you control the tears when you are upset? I never want to cry, but I can't prevent it.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

But it has to be a company thing, because this isn't normal and it isn't found in most workplaces. Your employer is either repeatedly employing volatile/manipulative/unprofessional people, which is a recruitment issue, or the atmosphere is either driving normal people to despair or is overly permissive about this behaviour. Does crying 'work' for these women? I suspect it must do, but it wouldn't in a normal and healthy environment.

So clearly IABU and it's ok the cry at work?

But it is so completely outside the normal that it is.company related. Either because people are so stressed in the work environment or they feel OK to cry at work

For.example, someone crying in pain should probably not be at work, but feels that they have to work.

Crying because you've made a mistake at work suggesting fear and stress in the workplace

Yes yabu

Yes, YABU and it is Ok to cry at work.

Your assumptions seems sexist. Agree with PPs that something is up with your workplace!

Have only seen someone crying at work once: a man. Due to bereavement.

Yes. YABU. People have shit going on. It's fine to cry. And you sound horrendous. Merry Christmas!!

Perhaps they don't feel they are 'in the wrong' and can't find any other way to let the frustration out. Whenever I've cried at work it's because I've had terrible personal news OR I've been put in an impossible position where I feel I cannot defend myself. The tears are anger/frustration not self-pity. My understanding is this is MUCH more common for women, who are conditioned not to get angry.

I agree that crying at work is unprofessional and I’ve never done it.
I’ve never seen a man cry at work BUT I have seen men shout, and lose their temper in what I consider an unprofessional way - frankly I’d rather they burst into tears if they can’t control their emotions!

Troll alert

No it is not OK to cry at work.

But the culture of the organisation is clearly making this happen.

So it's the culture which needs to change rather than blame individuals for being female

I have cried once in my previous role, im a solicitor so fairly "professional". My boss (who did happen to be a man) called me in for a meeting and to explain that despite being put forward for promotion to jr partner, they had now reviewed the situation and decided on reflection, this year was not the year. I was 16 weeks pregnant and had told them the week before.

I couldn't control my emotions, I was so upset and angry. It was more of a croaky on the edge conversation rather than me sitting there and sobbing. Very embarrassing but ultimately I don't feel I was wrong in that situation.

Yes but why is is then that all the women that posters on this thread have worked with aren't crying? Why have we not shared your experience? Could it not be that your workplace is exacerbating other issues - I know when I was unhappy at work I found it harder to cope with things at home and yes I did end up crying (I was straight out of uni in my defence). Now I'm in a happier workplace I don't find that am issue.

Agree that it’s not ‘professional’ to cry in front of others at work over ‘workaday’ work matters, but more important things are whether people who do so are in a bad way / need support, and why.