To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

I think I would cry if I had to work with you... You sound like hard work!

Well it has always been more socially acceptable for women to cry, so men are probably more practiced at hiding their unhappiness. I agree if someone is crying a lot at work (particularly in front of others) it is unprofessional and they shouldn’t really be there should they?
In the last 5 years I’ve known 4 women cry at work but we’re in an incredibly stressful environment where people actually die so…. (the team is about 20 women to 2 men).

I think the OP is a 22yo incel trying to shame women.

Yanbu. It’s embarrassing. I say that as someone who has cried at work - once when my father was dying and I was struggling with caring for him and getting work done. Once when I was overworked and taken advantage of in a very small company and they kept messing my pay around, getting my hope up for change and then taking things back. I wish I hadn’t cried both times.

[quote ttcpatronisers]@TopCatsTopHat I never said all 20 had cried I said the majority of the 20 have.

[/quote]
Forgive me. My mistake.

Well the thread seems split between crying being unprofessional or just a way to let off steam. But seems unanimous that your workplace is unusual in its level of tears occurring.
But you clearly only want to have your view confirmed and are demanding it in quite a prickly way, so maybe you're just oblivious to any of the finer considerations because according to you, your work place must be wholesome, isn't unusual and the fault can only be (by a process of eliminating the previous two considerations against the testimony of many here) that of these tearful women.
Signs like you already have your conclusion all sewn up, not sure why you're here. It certainly isn't for a dialogue

It's the culture nowadays. You hardly ever see a TV show involving ordinary people without tears; something sad happens ....cry, something good happens...cry. I was a child in the war, I never saw an adult cry, but nowadays there are waterworks everywhere.

@Nietzschethehiker no what I've found annoying is that posters have started making assumptions - that's not wanting a debate is it?

Anyway, clearly IABU by saying crying at work is unprofessional - and that's ok. I'll take that.

It's an observation that I have noticed majority of time it is female that do this and I can say the same on other places I've worked. These are observations I've made so how can other posters be telling me essential I'm wrong about what I've seen with my own eyes.

If posters feel IABU for my opinion on it that's one thing, but they're trying to insinuate it's the only workplace where mainly women are crying and this has happened to me in multiple jobs I've worked in.

Yes I agree with posters men have anger issues, that's a separate thread - I wasn't posting about that.

@ineedsun

I think the question should be why are so many people crying at work shouldn’t it?

What’s going on in the workplace and how can people be supported better?

No, her question is why are so many WOMEN crying. OP clearly states the men are not crying

They might be crying because they have to work with you - you're not coming across very well OP

Lots of people crying at work is very unusual. I can't remember the last time I saw a college cry. What type of work do you do?

I work in an almost exclusively female environment. When we are discussing personal problems/ worries/ stresses, sometimes some of us cry. It’s not as we work but when we’re having personal discussions before or after work or during lunch breaks.

I don’t see it as a problem. We’re human, we’re friends, we share a lot and sometimes we cry.

The only times I have ever cried at work were due to complete frustration at a) the ineptitude of workplace policies or b) completely unkind and unfair treatment of colleagues by senior leadership.

What is with all these "aren't women crap" threads lately?

This is quite an unpleasant thread. You keep demanding rudely thay people just accept that the majority of women cry in your work, and refuse point blank to listen to the fact that posters are telling you this is unusual.

In my work I’ve seldom seen a woman cry, in fact I don’t think ever, I’m sure they have, but go someplace discreet to do it, or do it at home after.

In my experience women are much more professional than what you are portraying in yout work place, so no people won’t just accept it’s not a work thing, because it’s very unique to your highly unusual work place.

I’m a woman, i have cried about work a couple of times over the years, but always at home, never at work and no one at work knows. In my experience that’s normal.

@ttcpatronisers what sort of place do you work? Is it a professional setting? High pressure? Poorly remunerated?

The type of emotional incontinence I see most often is men starting misogynistic threads on the internet. Every time I read one, I think why did no-one teach them that no-one needs to see their misogyny? Why don't they realise it's completely inappropriate to show in public ... or behind closed doors? It's a puzzler. It really is.

Ok then, you say crying over making a mistake.
I moved teams away from psycho woman.
In team #2 a mistake was made by a courier, I looked into it, told my new boss. New boss understood that the courier was at fault - told me not to worry about it, she would escalate to head office .
Same courier had messed up deliver for old bosses team ( same scenario).
Colleague in ex bosses team was screamed at in front of the whole floor ( open plan) and told that " her" mistake had cost the company £6000 that she would have to repay. Damned right colleague burst into tears, she had been threatened and humiliated.

I think it probably is ok to cry in work in certain circumstances. If you are generally a professional and conscientious worker then dismissing someone’s crying in work seems a bit cold tbh. You spend all that time in work couped up with other people and you can never display human emotion in all that time? Seems unrealistic. Yes, men are culturally discouraged from crying and yes perhaps women do express stress in this way more often than men but to dismiss it as attention seeking etc seems rather reductive. Also how does it affect you personally? I don’t cry in work but if I did it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

@DrSbaitso

What is with all these "aren't women crap" threads lately?

I know, it's very unpleasant isn't it.

I'm in a work place that's 90% female, I've been there 14 years and the only time I've seen colleagues cry 'in public' is when a colleague died. I'm sure people have cried in the toilets. I know I have. Twice when dealing with miscarriages and once when I'd had a particularly frustrating meeting. I was angry and the tears were tears of frustration. I'm sure I read once that women tend to cry when they're angry/frustrated, whereas men tend to shout, kick a door or something similar in those in situations.

So no OP I don't think that as a generalism women burst into tears at work whilst men are strong and stoic. Maybe in your workplace there's a particular culture of this happening if you're noticing it a lot, rather than it being women per se?

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

No because a workplace where half the workforce are bursting into tears is not normal. I've certainly never seen it in any workplace, nor have I noticed women being especially likely to cry at work.

So what is this hypothetical workplace which causes grown adults to burst into tears when they simply make a mistake?

@Holly60 I think she said one man is crying, but regardless. There is a bigger question here than why are women so rubbish?

@ttcpatronisers

Img this thread is already getting ridiculous. I've explained the reasons why people are crying. These people are generally happy in their jobs and for example - one has an alcoholic husband so cried because of it. Another had a knee that was hurting. It is NOT company related can we just accept that.

Now you either believe me - or continue to switch the narrative to suit.

So what? Some people will cry when they are upset. Some won't. Very generally, women do so more than men.

Firstly, anyone being upset (crying or otherwise) by a workplace situation needs support to understand & rectify the situation

Secondly, I'd rather colleagues bring their whole selves to work & if that means being upset about personal matters from time to time, that's fine. It's part of life & I'd have no problem with it.

If it's continuous or being done in some way manipulatively, that's different. But that doesn't seem to be the case. In fact, I'm managing a disciplinary process for a male direct report, he frequently does a trembling lip & tear-filled eye, and it's BS.

You sound like someone I'd hate to work with. Cold, judgmental & unable to see that showing emotion in the workplace is a positive thing at times. We spend a lot of time with our colleagues. I've helped & been given help many times.

You sound lovely.

@DrSbaitso

What is with all these "aren't women crap" threads lately?

Schools broken up...