Reading through all your posts - basically, saying no to him is not a viable option. You are under his control because the alternatives are either impossible or uncomfortable. So you don't try - or even contemplate - doing anything he would say no to.
You've listed so many things that he stops you doing that shouldn't even be his decision.
All of that is normal for you but it is not normal. Or healthy.
I mean, that is what coercive control is. And the way it affects you - feeling anxious, guilty etc - is not something faulty with you to be fixed or suppressed, it's the natural result of his unacceptable behaviour. Any human would respond that way to coercive control like you describe.
Like you said in your op, none of that means he's a "bad person" or that there aren't good times, but the behaviour is undeniably bad. It sounds like your childhood meant you were primed to accept and tolerate it as just how you should expect people to treat you?
It's commonly the case that people with abusive / traumatic childhoods will be targeted by other abusive people as adults. That's an evidence-based observation, it doesn't mean your therapist would label everyone that way but that you have a lot of those people in your life.
You kind of talk like you don't see yourself as a person in your own right - like you only exist as a satellite in other people's lives, meeting their needs without ever valuing yourself enough to consider your own ought to come first sometimes.