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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have opened the door

299 replies

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/12/2021 20:28

Went to a restaurant this eve, was busier than I expected and all tables were randomly put together to form 2 king table so we were sat next to total strangers… wasn’t expecting that. So I opened up the door near us to get some fresh air in, checked with waitress they agreed. A lady went and closed it, so I opened it again and then she closed it again… so I opened it!

AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 08:54

It wasn’t freezing draft! It was a door ajar!

Blimey no wonder our covid numbers are fucked if people can’t see the benefits of fresh air

OP posts:
VainAbigail · 20/12/2021 08:59

@OnceuponaRainbow18

The government guidance is to have ventilation for 10 mins per hour, so why do you think it’s necessary to have a door constantly open or a window instantly opened whenever you’re near by?

This is the exact sentence:

Clear advice to open windows for 10 minutes each hour when socialising indoors

GiltEdges · 20/12/2021 08:59

@OnceuponaRainbow18

It wasn’t freezing draft! It was a door ajar!

Blimey no wonder our covid numbers are fucked if people can’t see the benefits of fresh air

No issues understanding the benefits of fresh air. But then not do I choose to frequent busy restaurants the week before Christmas where no one's wearing a mask and the chances of contracting covid are pretty high 🤷🏼‍♀️

Takes all sorts I suppose OP

Kennykenkencat · 20/12/2021 09:02

Yea to me a bit of fresh air seems like a no brainer
Then sit outside with your food and don’t spoil other peoples evenings.

You haven’t saved anyone you have just ruined peoples evening. I hate going to restaurants and sitting by the door as it gets so cold when people come in or out.

Eating out is a treat and if people have spent money on going out for an evening meal and then had to sit in the freezing cold it does more harm to a restaurant than any lockdown as people just don’t return if the experience wasn’t pleasant.

anon12345678901 · 20/12/2021 09:05

Did you ask the other diners if they minded the door being open?

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 09:19

@Kennykenkencat

It really wasn’t freezing cold…!

OP posts:
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 20/12/2021 09:25

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Kennykenkencat

It really wasn’t freezing cold…![/quote]
It was cold enough to make the other woman uncomfortable.
Yet you continued to open the door repeatedly even after she'd made it clear she was getting cold.

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 09:26

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Kennykenkencat

It really wasn’t freezing cold…![/quote]
5pm in December? Is it going to turn out you’re not in the UK next?

Svara · 20/12/2021 09:28

The waitress may have agreed not realising you wanted it kept open the entire time. She may have made a reasonable assumption that you just wanted to ventilate the room for 10 mins.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 20/12/2021 09:28

@Sparklingbrook

Why did you post this *@OnceuponaRainbow18*, you don't think you were being unreasonable, everyone has explained why you were and yet you still don't think you are.

Are you now saying you opened the door before any other diners arrived? You think they should have seen the open door arrangement and left if they didn't like it?

My guess is to be goady. It wasn't enough that she'd made another diner uncomfortable, she wanted to rub it in by gloating about it (and hopefully have others join in).

At least that's the impression I get from her posts.

Kennykenkencat · 20/12/2021 09:29

It really wasn’t freezing cold

It is December. It might not have been freezing but it was still colder outside the restaurant than in.
Some people feel the cold more and some people don’t want to spend the evening in a draught around their legs whilst paying for the privilege
It was cold outside and you opened a door.

I personally haven’t returned to a restaurant because of sitting in a draught. I have walked out of restaurants that can’t sit me away from an open door. I have never returned as no matter how good the food the whole experience is ruined if I am cold.

user36738281 · 20/12/2021 09:30

Sounds like covid was on the menu

Legoninjago1 · 20/12/2021 09:31

I wouldn't have liked that. Hate being cold. Yabu.

jackstini · 20/12/2021 09:32

YANBU to want some fresh air

YABVU and incredibly rude and ignorant not to ask the other people next to you!

You should have asked them if they minded, offered to move to be closer to the ajar door or maybe move near a window that would only affect you

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 20/12/2021 09:34

@BoredZelda

There are guidelines about ventilation but it doesn't mean that that ventilation should be controlled by one diner and should be opening a door in December.

Except the waiting staff approved it.

And you do it in December because that's when the Covid number are high. The guidance isn't "do it unless it is a bit chilly out"

We expect our kids to sit in schools with all the windows open all day but for adults who absolutely must have a meal out it's too inconvenient? Get a grip, wear a jumper.

I too have Reynauds Disease.

Stay at home then 🤷‍♀️

"Stay at home then 🤷‍♀️"

Wow, disgusting comment.
No, people with health conditions/disabilities shouldn't have to shut themselves away.
What a shitty thing to say to someone who is describing something like that.

Snowmanuel · 20/12/2021 09:40

I might not necessarily agree with the OP’s brusque-sounding, elephant hide, ‘no nonsense’ approach to opening the door, but….. are some posters honestly so dopey as to not understand that ventilation reduced risk of catching an airborne virus?

Like the poster who suggested the OP though cold air reduced ‘Covid in a person’? Confused

Also, it sounds like she was one of the first diners there, so that does change things somewhat.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 20/12/2021 09:46

I'm not buying that the OP was among the first ones there. She added that after she had received criticism about changing the environment.

Her OP gave the opposite impression, and I'm just paraphrasing here but along the lines of 'the restaurant was busier than I expected so I opened the door, the lady then closed it so I opened it again' and so on and on.

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 09:48

@BlaBlaSmthSmth

We were there for 5pm as have a 2 and 5 year old. I could tell from the way the tables were laid it was going to be very busy and weirdly sat all together. Like 30 tables of 4 were all lined up into 2!

OP posts:
melj1213 · 20/12/2021 09:49

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Kennykenkencat

It really wasn’t freezing cold…![/quote]
Just because it wasn't -10°C doesn't mean it wasn't too cold for some people. There are many reasons why a sudden change of temperature/draught of cold air could have a detrimental effect on other patrons that isn't immediately obvious. The courteous thing to do would have been to ask other diners nearby if they minded the door being open before opening it.

Like I said earlier, I have Reynaud's and prevention is better than cure when it comes to dealing with it so it is important to try to keep your body temperature stable as sudden fluctuations can cause a flare up. If I was eating in a warm restaurant and then was sitting in the path of the draught caused by you opening the door, then it could easily trigger a flare up even if it isn't "freezing cold" (and let's be honest, it's the middle of December, it's hardly tropical weather no matter where you are).

GutsInMay · 20/12/2021 09:50

Can people not communicate like normal human beings?

OP: “Would you mind if I open the door to ensure plenty of fresh air. I would feel safer with more ventilation given the table arrangements “ might have helped. Rather than engaging in childish passive aggressive door business.

Thatsplentyjack · 20/12/2021 09:56

Opening the door 1/3 would make no difference other that everyone being cold. YWBU and really annoying.

LlamaParma · 20/12/2021 09:57

@GutsInMay completely agree, also what is this morbid fear of speaking to or being in the presence of other people? Strangers are always nearby in a restaurant IME. Certainly never walked in myself and they all happen to be my mates. Has COVID made us anti-social?

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 20/12/2021 09:57

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@BlaBlaSmthSmth

We were there for 5pm as have a 2 and 5 year old. I could tell from the way the tables were laid it was going to be very busy and weirdly sat all together. Like 30 tables of 4 were all lined up into 2![/quote]
You didn't say that you could tell it was going to be busy in the OP though. You said it was busier than you'd expected.
Maybe you weren't expecting it to be busy because you were going early with your children but clearly there were lots of other people who wanted/needed to dine earlier in the evening too.

Abraxan · 20/12/2021 10:03

It's freezing cold at the moment here. I'd have wanted the door,shut too and I'd have asked the restaurant to do so. The cold makes me joints incredibly painful.

If you weren't happy with the seating arrangements you should have left.

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 10:04

@BlaBlaSmthSmth

I'm not buying that the OP was among the first ones there. She added that after she had received criticism about changing the environment.

Her OP gave the opposite impression, and I'm just paraphrasing here but along the lines of 'the restaurant was busier than I expected so I opened the door, the lady then closed it so I opened it again' and so on and on.

That's the impression i got, but things seem to keep changing...