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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have opened the door

299 replies

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/12/2021 20:28

Went to a restaurant this eve, was busier than I expected and all tables were randomly put together to form 2 king table so we were sat next to total strangers… wasn’t expecting that. So I opened up the door near us to get some fresh air in, checked with waitress they agreed. A lady went and closed it, so I opened it again and then she closed it again… so I opened it!

AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 13:34

I may my choice to stay because the waitress said the door could be kept open

OP posts:
LlamaParma · 20/12/2021 13:35

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I may my choice to stay because the waitress said the door could be kept open
Yet the moment you knows a fellow customer was uncomfortable with that you ploughed on through and insisted you had your way anyway.

Why is the waitress more important than another patron here?

Don’t blame a waitress on your selfish behaviour, this is on YOU

Stuffin · 20/12/2021 13:36

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Stuffin

Having no ventilation with 80,000+ cases a day is pretty mad[/quote]
Lots would say you were stupid to eat inside a restaurant with that many cases a day.

People have different levels of risk. It sounds like you think opening a door will stop covid but lots of people don't want to do that including those other diners.

This is about your anxiety and projecting that onto everyone else.

EezyOozy · 20/12/2021 13:38

YABU. It's freezing. If you're that bothered then don't go to restaurants, regardless of where you sit.

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 13:39

I agree the waitress had no right to decide on behalf of everyone that the door should stay open, maybe she felt a little under pressure by the person requesting it...

LlamaParma · 20/12/2021 13:40

@Sparklingbrook

I agree the waitress had no right to decide on behalf of everyone that the door should stay open, maybe she felt a little under pressure by the person requesting it...
I waitressed in my student days, you just knew some customer we’re gonna be awkward bastards and if you’re young and not terribly assertive it’s really not worth saying no to people
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 13:41

@Stuffin

Yes with no mitigating factors it is stupid, hence tried to resolve that.

I’m not overly anxious about covid, yes I don’t want to get it but I am carrying on , I’ve worked every day throughout all lockdowns with hundreds of unmasked teens in schools; but I think if we can we can make it a bit safer!!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 13:43

Exactly @LlamaParma sometimes it's easier to agree because otherwise it's all going to kick off.

Stuffin · 20/12/2021 13:44

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Stuffin

Yes with no mitigating factors it is stupid, hence tried to resolve that.

I’m not overly anxious about covid, yes I don’t want to get it but I am carrying on , I’ve worked every day throughout all lockdowns with hundreds of unmasked teens in schools; but I think if we can we can make it a bit safer!![/quote]
Making a bit safer is quantified by you and you alone as your fellow diners made clear.

If you want safe eat outside. Let everyone else enjoy normality if they choose. Those that want to mitigate everything, like yourself, to feel 'safe' can choose to eat outside.

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 13:45

@Sparklingbrook

I wouldn’t have kicked off, probably left, but not kicked off…

OP posts:
melj1213 · 20/12/2021 13:56

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I may my choice to stay because the waitress said the door could be kept open
And what if another patron had asked a different member of staff to keep the door closed?
EezyOozy · 20/12/2021 14:09

I may my choice to stay because the waitress said the door could be kept open

You are really latching onto this op. The waitress may have been under a bit of duress, probably quite young and possibly very busy. And she agreed that if you wanted it up and it could be open.

what she didn't say is "you can have it open without fail, even if it causes discomfort to to other customers who may subsequently ask that it be shut"

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2021 14:16

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I may my choice to stay because the waitress said the door could be kept open
She wasn't bloody sitting there!
Offmyfence · 20/12/2021 14:21

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@WorraLiberty

Well fresh air is key and reduces viral load!

If I was sat on a table with my own family and other tables spaced out then no I wouldn’t have… would have liked to but wouldn’t.

Maybe I’ll avoid restaurants for a while[/quote]
Yes definitely avoid, let everyone else enjoy their meals in peace and warm!

Offmyfence · 20/12/2021 14:33

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@DartmoorChef

No we saw out seating; I asked the waitress about the door, she said yes, sat down and ordered… then lady shut door[/quote]
But what made you assume that people would want to be cold ? They ordered their food when the restaurant was nice and warm, you changed that.

Stay home.

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 14:40

@Offmyfence

But it shouldn’t be the choice of stay home or go out and there be no safety precautions!

If I stayed safely at home my 5 exam classes at school would really suffer!

OP posts:
LlamaParma · 20/12/2021 14:45

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Sparklingbrook

I wouldn’t have kicked off, probably left, but not kicked off…[/quote]
The point is you probably came across to the waitress as a difficult customer and she said whatever she did to appease you so that her minimum wage exhausting job wasn’t made even harder

Offmyfence · 20/12/2021 14:50

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Offmyfence

But it shouldn’t be the choice of stay home or go out and there be no safety precautions!

If I stayed safely at home my 5 exam classes at school would really suffer![/quote]
You don't get to decide the rules for everyone in the restaurant, the restaurant themselves hadn't opened the door, the waitress most likely agreed with you to keep the peace.

No restaurant I have been in has kept the door open, so that's how it is.

You can go to work, you say the window is open, so that keeps you happy.

Stay at home apart from that.

Stuffin · 20/12/2021 14:50

But it shouldn’t be the choice of stay home or go out and there be no safety precautions!

I can't decide whether this is a deliberate wind up thread or you are serious.

If serious then yes that is the choice because in England there are no restrictions put on restaurants so stay at home, eat outside or accept that those dining in don't want your self administered 'safety precautions'.

Offmyfence · 20/12/2021 15:09

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Offmyfence

But it shouldn’t be the choice of stay home or go out and there be no safety precautions!

If I stayed safely at home my 5 exam classes at school would really suffer![/quote]
Or eat outside, do that!

HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 20/12/2021 15:40

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Offmyfence

But it shouldn’t be the choice of stay home or go out and there be no safety precautions!

If I stayed safely at home my 5 exam classes at school would really suffer![/quote]
It isn't. Some restaurants are taking covid measures more seriously. Use those.

Murdoch1949 · 20/12/2021 16:25

Best way to avoid Covid is fresh air.Why do you think all classrooms have an open window.

HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 20/12/2021 16:46

@Murdoch1949

Best way to avoid Covid is fresh air.Why do you think all classrooms have an open window.
No one is disputing this.

What we are disputing, is the diners right to decide to eat in a restaurant NOT following guidance and not be forced to sit in the cold.

CeibaTree · 20/12/2021 16:46

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Hope478

It really isn’t stupid to think fresh air is better than inhaling other people’s… in fact it’s pretty stupid to not realise that 2 years later[/quote]
But if by your standards the restaurant wasn’t adequately ventilated in accordance with covid advice how could you trust that they were following any other covid safe procedures? By that measure you should have just left. I think you just decided to make a sanctimonious petty power play - if you were really that concerned you would have stayed home or left when you realised the restaurant wasn’t following the correct covid safe advice.

lazyarse123 · 20/12/2021 16:57

I think at this stage anyone uncomfortable or scared should just stay the fuck at home. I work in a shop so have to be there but if i go shopping or to a market and it's heaving i go home as that is a risk i can minimse. If you weren't happy you should have left.