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AIBU?

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Original poster

BF going to the same restaurant as me

184 replies

DLDITN · 19/12/2021 14:23

I’ve booked a table in a restaurant for a catch up with my mum tonight.

My BF is going out with his friends and has told me that he’s booked a table at the same restaurant.

Am I overreacting to think this is a bit odd. I don’t want to be a part of his man’s night out and especially not when I’m trying to have a quiet conversation with my mother.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 19/12/2021 21:20

@DLDITN

I’m back. He didn’t turn up. He told me that he’d just cancelled the night out because I was being odd about things. So my meal was pretty much ruined.

Then he told me that one of his friends had actually asked to cancel.

I’m seriously unimpressed by his behaviour. I’m not happy at all.

If you aren't getting creepy stalker vibes off his behaviour, you really should be wary.

This is seriously off.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 19/12/2021 21:22

@DLDITN

I’m back. He didn’t turn up. He told me that he’d just cancelled the night out because I was being odd about things. So my meal was pretty much ruined.

Then he told me that one of his friends had actually asked to cancel.

I’m seriously unimpressed by his behaviour. I’m not happy at all.

So he's trying to punish you by making you feeling bad about it? If it even happened and he didn't just make it up to see how you would react

Fuck right off. He's pushing your boundaries to see how much he can get away with.

Is his ex wife (assuming he admits to having been in a previous relationship) somebody who was either 'a complete psycho' or 'cheated on him', by any chance?

ChargingBuck · 19/12/2021 22:16

He has quite an eccentric personality so gets away with the behaviour somewhat.

That's not eccentricity. That's just plain being an arsehole.

TimeIhadaSeasonalNameChange · 19/12/2021 22:47

What's the deal with the shot? Do you not drink, or does he think you shouldn't have it?

Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/12/2021 22:48

Bye bye boyfriend tbh

This kind of behaviour is awful and it will happen again

JingsMahBucket · 20/12/2021 01:17

@DLDITN do you live together? If not, change your locks and break up with him.

SleighBellsRinging · 20/12/2021 01:19

@LaurieFairyCake

Weird in London where there's literally thousands of restaurant

Not so weird in my home town where there's 2 and one of thems shit

This!
HirplesWithHaggis · 20/12/2021 01:44

@TimeIhadaSeasonalNameChange

What's the deal with the shot? Do you not drink, or does he think you shouldn't have it?
I think OP was driving.
AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 20/12/2021 17:59

@ChargingBuck

He has quite an eccentric personality so gets away with the behaviour somewhat.

That's not eccentricity. That's just plain being an arsehole.

Grin Same thought.

Eccentricity masking being a c*. It's another form of manipulation in my mind; you focus on the weirdness and laugh it off when In fact it's masking something much more serious.

Our PM leaps to mind.

Jaguar77 · 20/12/2021 18:33

Does your BF own a pair of budgies?

Tallulah1972 · 20/12/2021 18:34

Get rid…quick! Red flags, alarm bells, sirens! What more do you need? Take care x

Mirw · 20/12/2021 18:46

Tell him you have a secret girlfriend who you are introducing to your mum and it will be really embarrassing for him to be there when you do....

Suzanne999 · 20/12/2021 18:57

@Icebreaker99

he’d be over at the table seeing what I have ordered, taking any leftovers and trying to get me to give him the complimentary shot at the end.

And this manchild is almost 50!? Here's my first LTB OP! Find a man not an overgrown toddler.

Yes, my thought was he was a rather immature 24 year old.

All sorts of red flags: his behaviour all round is not attractive.

Americano75 · 20/12/2021 18:59

Eccentric my arse, he's an obnoxious wank.

Dump him. I don't know you from Eve and I can still guarantee you deserve much better.

Bebethany · 20/12/2021 19:13

DLDITN Get rid now my lovely, you have been warned!

Derbee · 20/12/2021 19:33

IF this is genuine, you need to stop being such a weak doormat. Dump him, he’s absolutely crazy.

Michellelovesizzy · 20/12/2021 19:38

How long have u been together if u don’t mind me asking?

SunshineCake1 · 20/12/2021 19:39

I was telling my son earlier how I had dumped a boyfriend in Boxing Fay as I hadn't want pet to ruin his Christmas. I really wish I'd dumped him before Christmas. If you're going to dump him, and I think you should, do it today.

Asamommy · 20/12/2021 20:03

I wouldn't change my booking if I were you. If he suspects then let him see he is very wrong. And if he behaves well or not, that won't matter. I'm 100% dumping him.

MamDancer · 20/12/2021 20:04

@Jaguar77

Does your BF own a pair of budgies?
What have Shirley and Rupert to do with this? Mind you, Shirley is a bully and could have put him up to this I suppose.
maybloss2 · 20/12/2021 21:24

Can your mum cross question him as to his motive and challenge any off behaviour? No? Go somewhere else yes? Warn her and go.
If you go somewhere else don’t tell him. Just message him with a photo of you& yr mum having a quiet chat elsewhere.

Sheerdetermination · 20/12/2021 21:38

Having a BF with friends who behave badly in a restaurant would also be a no-no for me

chaosmaker · 20/12/2021 23:53

@cakewench

ugh he's almost 50 and he has friends who are obnoxious to waitstaff and he must be fine with that if he's still going places with them. That's incredibly unattractive.

Compounded by the weird behaviour of booking in the same restaurant to keep an eye on you, I'd really be re thinking this situation. I genuinely thought you were going to say he was in his early 20s because it sounds like someone who hasn't fully matured.

Age and maturity are only sometimes related!
sjpkgp1 · 20/12/2021 23:55

[quote DLDITN]@CheshireKitten123 - because this has all only happened this afternoon. I have spoken with him about it and told him that I thought it was weird. He said that he thought it was fine.

In terms of having a quiet meal with my mother, he’d be over at the table seeing what I have ordered, taking any leftovers and trying to get me to give him the complimentary shot at the end.[/quote]
You are not compatible. Move on.

HelenEas63 · 21/12/2021 00:02

God these awful comments like everyone has a phd in relationship science.
Maybe it’s a Nando’s & it’s just a local place people go. Maybe the OP is being a tad paranoid maybe the bf is being weird, we don’t know enough to decide.
However the coincidence of this is simple, you go somewhere else with mum, if the bf gets weird then you need a serious chat!

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