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AIBU?

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Original poster

BF going to the same restaurant as me

184 replies

DLDITN · 19/12/2021 14:23

I’ve booked a table in a restaurant for a catch up with my mum tonight.

My BF is going out with his friends and has told me that he’s booked a table at the same restaurant.

Am I overreacting to think this is a bit odd. I don’t want to be a part of his man’s night out and especially not when I’m trying to have a quiet conversation with my mother.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 14:45

He asked you if you had a secret boyfriend and now he's dragging all of his friends across town to spy on you?
And presumably because then he'll have back up when he confronts the 'other man'?

Dump him.

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2021 14:45

Well if there is plenty of choice then go to a different restaurant. No biggie.

It would be different if a small location with only two or three choices.

FluffyBooBoo · 19/12/2021 14:45

He sounds awful. Do you want to stay in a relationship with him?

Go somewhere else.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 19/12/2021 14:45

I’d be rebooking and also rethinking the relationship!

Wonkydonkey44 · 19/12/2021 14:46

Contact your friends and arrange to meet somewhere else , do not tell him.
No way would I be I be in the same restaurant as him after he'd said that!

Shoemadlady · 19/12/2021 14:46

If your BF has booked a table here on purpose to watch you, the only thing I'd say is, run for the hills. This smacks of control and never ends well.

Skeumorph · 19/12/2021 14:47

Dump!!!!!

This is your early (I hope) warning sign.

If you've been together years and engaged blah blah - dump him twice as quick.

DPotter · 19/12/2021 14:47

I'd do both - ditch the BF and change restaurants. Seriously

AnOldCynic · 19/12/2021 14:48

@Wonkydonkey44

Contact your friends and arrange to meet somewhere else , do not tell him. No way would I be I be in the same restaurant as him after he'd said that!
Please read the OP. She's meeting her mum, not friends.

Re-book elsewhere and dump him.

ChargingBuck · 19/12/2021 14:51

@DLDITN

We live in an area near to major cities. The friends live on the other side of one of the cities so they normally meet in the city. I’m going to a small local restaurant.

I think he has arranged it to see what I’m up to. He asked me yesterday if I had a secret boyfriend.

Dump him pronto.

He's a weird controlling fucker, & his behaviour will escalate.

Really - he will become more & more outlandish in his efforts to control you. He already thinks it's ok to accuse you of having a secret fling, & stalking you on a night out with your mum.

What are your living arrangements?
If you don't live with him, I would dump him by text right now, change the restaurant booking, & concentrate on having a nice night with my mum, celebrating my lucky escape from a controlling twat.

Original poster
DLDITN · 19/12/2021 14:51

I genuinely am not seeing anyone else. I don’t really even speak to anyone else except my female friends.

My DM is elderly and disabled and this is one of the few local restaurants. She’d struggle going into town.

I’ve just told him to change his booking. If he doesn’t I will rearrange my meal to another night.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 19/12/2021 14:52

I would just change where you go, cancel and book somewhere else

Then when he questions tell him then you deceived last minute to go somewhere else with your mum

AmIAGrinchx · 19/12/2021 14:53

No no you need to dump him not rearrange your meal. What a creep!

flashy44 · 19/12/2021 14:53

He asked you if you had a secret boyfriend,its no co incidence,rebook to another restaurant dont tell him

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 14:54

Phone the restaurant and cancel his booking for him. Don't cancel on your mom.

WonderfulYou · 19/12/2021 14:54

This would be the end of the relationship for me.

If I was you I’d tell him that you’ve booked another restaurant now. If he changes his booking then you know it’s more than just a ‘coincidence.’

WonderfulYou · 19/12/2021 14:55

Sorry just realised it’s the only one you can go to. Then just re-arrange it for the night before or after.

Jayaywhynot · 19/12/2021 14:55

Cancel and go somewhere else, don't tell him them dump his arse

ChargingBuck · 19/12/2021 14:57

I’ve just told him to change his booking.

So if he refuses to change his booking, you will just accept that?
& you are staying with him? Despite the giant red flag he's waving?

You are already changing your own behaviour to accommodate his weirdness. This is a major sign of a controlling relationship.

I hope you can see him for what he is soon, & get rid of him. He is going to be a malignant influence on your life, You will always be walking on eggshells & looking over your shoulder, wondering what is going to set him off next, & what bizarre stalking & checking up he is going to be doing.

JSL52 · 19/12/2021 14:59

I'd change the date or go to my Mum's and get a takeaway.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 19/12/2021 14:59

I’ve just told him to change his booking. If he doesn’t I will rearrange my meal to another night.

If you do rearrange your booking, I'd be using tonight to seriously think about do I want to remain in this relationship. Also, pick up a takeaway to share with your mum so she still has a treat.

HugeAckmansWife · 19/12/2021 14:59

Why would he have told you if he was trying to catch you out though? Or did you find out by accident? Either way. I agree that you should change days, venue and / or dump him.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 19/12/2021 15:00

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! What does he bring to the table as he sounds awful

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 19/12/2021 15:00

Could you get takeaway and take to your mums?

girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 15:04

@HugeAckmansWife

Why would he have told you if he was trying to catch you out though? Or did you find out by accident? Either way. I agree that you should change days, venue and / or dump him.
Because if she cancels, rearranges or goes somewhere else he can accuse her of cheating without the confrontation in public