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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF going to the same restaurant as me

184 replies

DLDITN · 19/12/2021 14:23

I’ve booked a table in a restaurant for a catch up with my mum tonight.

My BF is going out with his friends and has told me that he’s booked a table at the same restaurant.

Am I overreacting to think this is a bit odd. I don’t want to be a part of his man’s night out and especially not when I’m trying to have a quiet conversation with my mother.

OP posts:
houseonthehill · 19/12/2021 18:01

"Surely the first red flag was asking if you were cheating."

Perhaps his "spidey senses" were "tingling".

IncompleteSenten · 19/12/2021 18:19

He must have some bloody amazing features you've not mentioned because he sounds like a selfish, greedy arsehole.

HollowTalk · 19/12/2021 18:39

He would come over and eat your leftovers? 😲😲😲

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 19/12/2021 18:44

Fuck that, no one would be getting my shot!

Anyway hopefully they won't turn up. I'd be having serious thoughts about the relationship though if I was you

Skeumorph · 19/12/2021 18:56

@DLDITN

I’m not sure if my mother being there might have made him behave a bit better but certainly when we’ve gone out for food he takes my plate away as soon as I have finished and eats any leftovers. He’d already mentioned that I could leave the shot on the table and he’d have it when we were discussing how he’d booked the same restaurant.

He has quite an eccentric personality so gets away with the behaviour somewhat.

We’ve been together for a few years but covid has obviously slowed things down quite a lot.

Shock

'eccentric personality' so gets away with being a boorish twat?

Fucking hell, dump him!!!

borisisaprat · 19/12/2021 19:07

F

Original poster
DLDITN · 19/12/2021 19:47

I’m back. He didn’t turn up. He told me that he’d just cancelled the night out because I was being odd about things. So my meal was pretty much ruined.

Then he told me that one of his friends had actually asked to cancel.

I’m seriously unimpressed by his behaviour. I’m not happy at all.

OP posts:
NotAnotherAlias · 19/12/2021 19:48

Even if he has rearranged at the last minute to go elsewhere I would dump this guy. He sounds jealous, insecure and childish. Also, the leftovers thing would really bother me.

NotAnotherAlias · 19/12/2021 19:49

Just seen your update. Why are you with this guy?

I hope you had a nice meal with your mother and enjoyed that bit of your evening.

EdinaMonsoon · 19/12/2021 19:52

Dump him OP. At best he’s a childish immature arse. At worst he’s a controlling arse. Not great either way.

DaisyNGO · 19/12/2021 20:04

@DLDITN

I’m back. He didn’t turn up. He told me that he’d just cancelled the night out because I was being odd about things. So my meal was pretty much ruined.

Then he told me that one of his friends had actually asked to cancel.

I’m seriously unimpressed by his behaviour. I’m not happy at all.

Why was your meal ruined?
WonderfulYou · 19/12/2021 20:07

I’m genuinely shocked how old you both are!
I couldn’t be dealing with these silly games.

Original poster
DLDITN · 19/12/2021 20:07

Because he was trying to make me feel bad @DaisyNGO

Perhaps ‘ruined’ is overstating things but I definitely felt guilty. Until it transpired that it was nothing to do with that and his friend had actually asked to rearrange.

I’m seriously considering ending things. However, I will wait until I am calmer.

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 19/12/2021 20:10

You should have dumped him this afternoon. I hope your DM enjoyed herself

Cherrysoup · 19/12/2021 20:11

@DLDITN

I’m not sure if my mother being there might have made him behave a bit better but certainly when we’ve gone out for food he takes my plate away as soon as I have finished and eats any leftovers. He’d already mentioned that I could leave the shot on the table and he’d have it when we were discussing how he’d booked the same restaurant.

He has quite an eccentric personality so gets away with the behaviour somewhat.

We’ve been together for a few years but covid has obviously slowed things down quite a lot.

He sounds like a controlling pain in the arse. Exactly why are you with him?
DaisyNGO · 19/12/2021 20:24

@DLDITN

Because he was trying to make me feel bad *@DaisyNGO*

Perhaps ‘ruined’ is overstating things but I definitely felt guilty. Until it transpired that it was nothing to do with that and his friend had actually asked to rearrange.

I’m seriously considering ending things. However, I will wait until I am calmer.

It sounds like you should have dumped him ages ago from all the other things you've said. He sounds generally horrible.
girlmom21 · 19/12/2021 20:27

His night out was cancelled and he chose to lie about it to make sure your night was ruined too. Tell him to fuck off.

CheddarGorgeous · 19/12/2021 20:38

I'd just seriously back off. No need to end it if you don't want to yet but I'd definitely be less available for the foreseeable.

Tirediam · 19/12/2021 20:45

He gives me the creeps !

Icebreaker99 · 19/12/2021 20:49

he’d be over at the table seeing what I have ordered, taking any leftovers and trying to get me to give him the complimentary shot at the end.

And this manchild is almost 50!? Here's my first LTB OP! Find a man not an overgrown toddler.

dottybabe · 19/12/2021 20:58

Because YOU were being odd??

And you say this incident was the first red flag?

Yikes.

Genuinely worried for you, OP.

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 19/12/2021 20:59

Don't let him ruin stuff for you op. He's being very manipulative.

JSL52 · 19/12/2021 21:01

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Has he met your mother? Perhaps he wants to meet her
And this is the way to go about it ?
Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 21:10

@DLDITN

Anyway, I’m going to start getting ready for going out with my mother shortly. I will update if he turns up at the meal. I’m sure he won’t though
Why do you put up with him?
pansypotter123 · 19/12/2021 21:14

I’m seriously considering ending things. However, I will wait until I am calmer.

So, conversely, you are also seriously considering not ending things? Why?