AIBU to make this girl cry??

[mumzyof2]

Its not so much of an AIBU, but more of a, was I in the wrong.
I went to a Wacky Warehouse today with my son. We go quite a bit as in the area where the children play, theyve made a very nice relaxing coffee shop, so I take a few magazines, and let my ds run around for a bit.
Anyway, we went today, and it was quite busy as some of the local children had broken up from school at dinner and gone there. There was a group of 7 mums, and between them, they had about 10 children.
My ds is 2 years old, but will be 3 on Sunday.
After a while, I caught a glimpse of somebody being pushed over, and it was my ds
I got up straight away to see what was happening, and on my way there, this girl of about 7 years old was pushing him over, over and over again, it happened about 6 times. And it was actually pushing him right right over onto his back, from standing. When I got to ds, he really didnt know what was going on, and looked very confused as to why he was being pushed over.
I asked the girl if it was her pushing him over, she said yes. I asked 'Why?' she said because he was running around them. He's only 2 ffs! ( I didnt say that!) I was very angry so probably sounded quite scary, but I wasnt certainly wasnt shouting. I told her not to, as hes a lot smaller than her, and that if she did it again, Id tell her mother. Then she started crying!
As I started walking away, she said 'Excuse me, I am very sorry' but I just carried on walking. All mums know its not nice to see their children being picked on, especially by one twice their age. I didnt mention it to her mum, and neither did she. I dont even think she was in the room at the time. I felt quite bad afterwards because she cried, although that wasnt my intention. Was I out of order to get so mad?

Mumzyof 2 -

And as I've said we all do this stuff and I'm sure I probably would have done the same too. I certainly think she deserved to be told off.

I'm sure you haven't left any scars either

Yes Magrat, I do strongly believe that kids need to learn that adults can get annoyed and can be unpredictable. This is not modern life, this is how it's always used to be.

Parents used to tell off other kids all the time. There's certainly not enough if it about anymore! I stopped an older child hitting a younger one a few weeks ago. He was stunned that I'd stopped him.

I think in these situations, protective instinct takes over and acknowledging an apology is not part of that instinct.

SK

soft play centres are one of the many levels of hell.
go to the park and spend the entry fee on bread for the ducks instead!

...and keep an eye on 2-year olds at all times, wherever you happen to be.

Spiritualknot - what a ridiculous argument.

Children fighting and hitting each other as a protection of their space and territory is very instinctive (otherwise we wouldn't have so many threads about how to manage fighting between children) that doesn't make it right.

Lazycow..I was talking about two teenagers walking up to a boy of around 10 in the street and punching him in the face actually, but I know what you mean.
SK

but surely as adults we are rational thinking beings and not bundles of primordial instincts and if we make a mistake once, ie not acknowledging a child's apology, then by exploring our actions and reactions the next time it happens we can try to do better

I think that's all anyone's saying

I don't think one can have a child-centred philosophy that only exists for one's own children .. one has to accept that all children are equally important and whilst our primary role is to nurture and protect our own we have a duty to ensure that we do our best for other people's children

and that includes stopping them when they are doing something inappropriate, telling them off if necessary and reinforcing correct modes of conduct where it is appropriate

I totally agree with you with regards to community parenting and tbh have never had any negative reaction from another parent for talking to or telling off their children ..and I have never given a negative reaction to another parent for doing the same

we're all in this together

it is people who go at other people's children with spittle flying (sorry franny for nicking your line) or calling 7 year old's bitches (sorry MMJ I know you've apologised for initial instinct too) that concern me the most .. I feel that is terribly inappropriate

yes I know that .. you strike me as intensely fair MMJ

of course if mumzy went back in time with her time machine, doubtless she'd have been MUCH more perfect than she already is...

an homage to Terry Pratchett

interestingly between this post and last one I have cleaned fridge and folded clothes from tumble dryer and put on new load of washing as well as got kids upstairs cleaning their bedrooms .. I am super mum

I've tidied the sitting room and put shoes away. I'm now about to get dressed ..whoops..how lazy am I?
SK

I have no bacon in the house

want bacon sandwich now

bitch

I really wanted a bacon sandwich last night...now I want one even more!

bacon sandwich
SK

OMG, I've just remembered a big stash of bacon in my fridge. Can't think why. Er, off for a bit now...

I am eating a bacon sandwich right this very minute...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

You were not wrong to tel her off. But you should have accepted ner apology'