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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make this girl cry??

182 replies

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:00

Its not so much of an AIBU, but more of a, was I in the wrong.
I went to a Wacky Warehouse today with my son. We go quite a bit as in the area where the children play, theyve made a very nice relaxing coffee shop, so I take a few magazines, and let my ds run around for a bit.
Anyway, we went today, and it was quite busy as some of the local children had broken up from school at dinner and gone there. There was a group of 7 mums, and between them, they had about 10 children.
My ds is 2 years old, but will be 3 on Sunday.
After a while, I caught a glimpse of somebody being pushed over, and it was my ds
I got up straight away to see what was happening, and on my way there, this girl of about 7 years old was pushing him over, over and over again, it happened about 6 times. And it was actually pushing him right right over onto his back, from standing. When I got to ds, he really didnt know what was going on, and looked very confused as to why he was being pushed over.
I asked the girl if it was her pushing him over, she said yes. I asked 'Why?' she said because he was running around them. He's only 2 ffs! ( I didnt say that!) I was very angry so probably sounded quite scary, but I wasnt certainly wasnt shouting. I told her not to, as hes a lot smaller than her, and that if she did it again, Id tell her mother. Then she started crying!
As I started walking away, she said 'Excuse me, I am very sorry' but I just carried on walking. All mums know its not nice to see their children being picked on, especially by one twice their age. I didnt mention it to her mum, and neither did she. I dont even think she was in the room at the time. I felt quite bad afterwards because she cried, although that wasnt my intention. Was I out of order to get so mad?

OP posts:
Magrat · 19/12/2007 18:55

but to reiterate again .. the girl was totally out of order, you were right to tell her off, her crying makes no difference, you should have acknowledged her apology

IMHO

AwayInAMunker · 19/12/2007 18:57

Melinda, I wasn't saying that this wasn't horrible behaviour.

Fwiw, I would have been livid and probably shoved the little girl over. Howzat for inappropriate?! Well, I wouldn't, but dear GOD, I would've wanted to far more than was healthy.

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 19/12/2007 19:01

Oh FGS at nutters who refer to children as bitches.

Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:01

'Soft play areas are for older children during school hol'??!!!

So why arnt they shut until 3.30pm?
And, fwiw, everyday from 9-3 is TODDLER time. Thats why they have a TODDLER area, just for TODDLERS, not SCHOOL children!Except there were school children there today because they broke up at dinner, they bstill had their uniforms on.
It was a Wacky Warehouse! The ones in Brewers Fares pubs!

OP posts:
hatrick · 19/12/2007 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pollypumpkin · 19/12/2007 19:06

I remember taking my 18 month old to soft play, she was quite independent and I'd let her toddle off and play in the under 3's bit but I always felt so anxious about it, without wanting to stop her explore, because there very often seemed to be much older children invading the v. young area. I think a lot of the time these places aren't 'policed' properly and it might be an idea to tell the manager to make sure the 'no ch over age 3 in the ball pool' or whatever it is rule, is enforced.

Magrat · 19/12/2007 19:07

oh fgs .. it's like talking to the terminally unaware

you have a toddler, your focus is toddler, you look at older children and expect maturity .. you won't get it .. and when you get to the point when you have a 7 year old, you will realise the difference

until then there's no point really

and Wacky Warehouse .. wht you mean the 'soft play' attached to a pub restaurant? ... eyuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (admits this is immature)

Magrat · 19/12/2007 19:08

they aren't shut for toddlers because the company wants to make a profit by the way .. not for any other reason

DarthVader · 19/12/2007 19:11

Did you really find out why she kept pushing your ds over?

3JinglesandnoBells · 19/12/2007 19:12

mumzy, someone said you could be out wiht the age estimate...you took it straight away as that could mean she was older...she may well have been younger...I know a few 3-5 year olds that , if I wouldn't know the age, I would estimate to be 6-7 years old...especially girls can be quite tall for their age...

Magrat · 19/12/2007 19:12
ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 19/12/2007 19:15

so cos its the school holidays and you have a toddler you can't get out for that much needed 2 hours out of the house?

the toddler area should be for toddlers only. the toddler area is tiny, older children have a massive 3 storey high thing to play on. why they feel the need to overcrowd a tiny toddler area i do not know.

Earlybird · 19/12/2007 19:16

Agree with Magrat. The little girl was definitely out of order and needed to be stopped, but think you should have acknowledged her apology, and perhaps looked for her Mum to make her aware of what had happened.

IMO, at two years old, you have to watch them pretty contantly - not glance up every 4 or 5 minutes. It's good you kept an eye out though, because you were able to intervene/protect your ds.

Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:17

Thats true hatrick, but I didnt realise that the children would be breaking up from school today. I though itd be Friday dinner, or maybe tomorrow. I wouldnt have taken him, had I known that school children would turn up ten minutes later, but thats my fault.

OP posts:
hatrick · 19/12/2007 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:22

The girl did have a school uniform on, she wasnt three years old.
Sorry Magrat, so by assuming that I can take my 3 year old to an under 5's play area, wihout him being pushed around, I am in the wrong?
And, the whole area was refurbished 3 months ago, I never went before then, because, yes, it was dirty. But, it happens to be very nice now.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:23

Yes, thats what toddler time is.

OP posts:
3JinglesandnoBells · 19/12/2007 19:23

she could have been just 4 though....

hatrick · 19/12/2007 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:27

I seem to be taking a bit of a flacking here for assuming that my ds would be safe in a toddler area, during toddler time.
My concern was really that Id been too harsh on the girl, not that it was my fault that it happened.
Im sorry Magrat that your views seem to differ so much from mine.

OP posts:
Magrat · 19/12/2007 19:28

gawd I'm not the enemy you know and I really think you should do what you want with your toddlers

I don't have the desire to watch mine every second so won't take her to a soft play during school holidays .. we still manage to get out and about though

interestingly my 3 year old wears a school uniform, because she attends morning nursery, she's also bigger than some reception children, actually she's the same height as a 6 year old I know but she talks like a toddler you'd know the difference

Earlybird · 19/12/2007 19:28

Of course you're not wrong to take him. It's just you can't count on others to follow the rules or staff to be enforcers - clearly that wasn't happening if an older girl was in the toddler area and playing 'rough' with your ds. Sounds a lovely new space, but when you're there, you must be vigilant and ensure your ds is looked after/safe.

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 19/12/2007 19:31

toddlertime isn't specifically for toddlers. older children can go too. they just call it toddlertime cos it is during school hours so mostly it is toddlers who go.

Original poster
mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 19:32

Magrat, you are making me sound like a bad parent for taking my ds to a play area?!!
Im pregnant, and tired, and had a rough morning, am knackered at having to plan a xmas, and birthday party, all which will be happening within two days of each other, and wanted to sit down for a while, whilst ds played.

OP posts:
Magrat · 19/12/2007 19:34

WHERE?

where have I made you sound like a bad parent ?

.. truly not my intention and I apologise if you think I think that because I don't, I keep reiterating that I think you did the right thing

.. I do think your perception of 'children' will adjust as it does for all of us as our cherubs grow up

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