Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

AIBU to make this girl cry??

182 replies

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:00

Its not so much of an AIBU, but more of a, was I in the wrong.
I went to a Wacky Warehouse today with my son. We go quite a bit as in the area where the children play, theyve made a very nice relaxing coffee shop, so I take a few magazines, and let my ds run around for a bit.
Anyway, we went today, and it was quite busy as some of the local children had broken up from school at dinner and gone there. There was a group of 7 mums, and between them, they had about 10 children.
My ds is 2 years old, but will be 3 on Sunday.
After a while, I caught a glimpse of somebody being pushed over, and it was my ds
I got up straight away to see what was happening, and on my way there, this girl of about 7 years old was pushing him over, over and over again, it happened about 6 times. And it was actually pushing him right right over onto his back, from standing. When I got to ds, he really didnt know what was going on, and looked very confused as to why he was being pushed over.
I asked the girl if it was her pushing him over, she said yes. I asked 'Why?' she said because he was running around them. He's only 2 ffs! ( I didnt say that!) I was very angry so probably sounded quite scary, but I wasnt certainly wasnt shouting. I told her not to, as hes a lot smaller than her, and that if she did it again, Id tell her mother. Then she started crying!
As I started walking away, she said 'Excuse me, I am very sorry' but I just carried on walking. All mums know its not nice to see their children being picked on, especially by one twice their age. I didnt mention it to her mum, and neither did she. I dont even think she was in the room at the time. I felt quite bad afterwards because she cried, although that wasnt my intention. Was I out of order to get so mad?

OP posts:

Original poster

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:02

Iv just read it back, and it sounds quite trivial, but its not everyday I make a total strangers child cry!

OP posts:

Kathyate6mincepies · 19/12/2007 18:03

YANBU.
Sevenish is old enough to know what is acceptable.
You shouldn't feel bad about her crying.

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 19/12/2007 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Magrat · 19/12/2007 18:04

The only thing I would have done different would be to acknowledge and praise the apology tbh

although I might have told the parent too

toomanyshoes · 19/12/2007 18:05

YANBU - what else were you supposed to do? She was old enough to know better and crying doesn't change it. It's not like you shouted or pushed her back!

Original poster

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:06

I was also mad that the group of gabbling parents went even watching the terror their children were causing! One boy of about 9 or 10, knocked over my friends 14 month old ds. They didnt notice. If my friend hadnt been stood with him at the time, and given the kids a bollocking, theyd probably have just done it again and again.

OP posts:

southeastastra · 19/12/2007 18:06

yes you should have acknowledged her apology. you moo

layercake · 19/12/2007 18:07

I can understand you being upset I would to, but to just carring on walking away when she was trying to say sorry was a bit mean

hatrick · 19/12/2007 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

toomanyshoes · 19/12/2007 18:08

TMSMJ - I think referring to a 7 year old as a little bitch is really unpleasant. Kids do naughty things, at least she apologised. how would you feel if somebody referred to your child as a little bitch?

hatrick · 19/12/2007 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 19/12/2007 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHerdNerd · 19/12/2007 18:11

YANBU - as regards the apology, I would think that you were still a bit steamed to want/be able to acknowledge that.

3JinglesandnoBells · 19/12/2007 18:12

hm...whilst I don't think that you are unreasonable in your original response, I think it was a bit unreasonable not to respond to her saying sorry.

FluffyMummy123 · 19/12/2007 18:13

Message withdrawn

ravenAK · 19/12/2007 18:13

Maybe a shame you didn't acknowledge the apology, but yanbu to tell the little horror off. AT ALL.

We have a local soft play place which has a similar problem around school hols - parents have to take their bored school age kids along with their toddlers - then they can't be arsed to supervise.

Dd (18 months) was reduced to floods at half term because two hulking great 9 year olds were divebombing off the slide into the ball pool, in what is bloody obviously a 4s & under area...

Original poster

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:14

I walked away because I had ds, and was more interested in taking him away fom her, than listening to what she had to say. Maybe it was a bit cruel, but I wanted to get ds away from her.

OP posts:

3JinglesandnoBells · 19/12/2007 18:17

but you heard her say it, so, in a way you acknoledged that she did say sorry, just you didn't show her....
it wasn't like she was a danger to your ds at the time and wouldn't it have been a good thing if she also would have apologized directly to him...I mean, good for him...

cherryredretrochick · 19/12/2007 18:19

Once found some about 9year old whipping my dd with those stretchy sticky insect things. I took them off the children and walked straight over to their parents. The boys were then frog marchedout by mums, I always think better to tell mums, but I would have told her off. Little girls can turn on the tears v.easliy so I wouldn't worry too much. You were right.

Original poster

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 18:21

True, she didnt appologise to ds, just me and only after I said I would tell her mother. I was fuming though.
Hes only small, and she was pushing him with real force from standing to his lying on back. When I got to him, she'd pushed him into one of the netting walls, you know, that separate the little tunnels and stuff. She was trying to hurt him and I was livid. I suppose I shouldnt have listened to her though, but it just seemed like she was just saying it to stop me telling her mum.

OP posts:

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 19/12/2007 18:21

at calling a 7 year old a bitch.

I think you should have said something along the lines of "Thankyou for the apology, it seems like you've learnt your lesson and i hope you won't go pushing any more children over from now on. you wouldn't like it if i pushed you over would you?"

GrimmaTheNome · 19/12/2007 18:26

YANBU.

while aknowledging the apology might have been a nice thing to do I'm not sure I could have done it with good grace under those circumstances - just saying sorry doesn't actually make physically abusing a smaller child OK.

A lot of parents would have shouted and told the mum so she got off pretty lightly really but from the sound of it did learn the lesson.

cherryredretrochick · 19/12/2007 18:26

Addicted that would sound a bit like a threat to me.

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 19/12/2007 18:29

ok well maybe without the last sentence. was just thinking it would be good for her to reflect that how much bigger mumzy would have been than her is how much bigger mumzy's ds would have seen the girl iyswim.

cherryredretrochick · 19/12/2007 18:34

I know you didn't mean it that way, just from perspective of a 7yo. I think older children get very hyper this time of year and I avoid soft play at all costs.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread