To be really disappointed with this present

[ToMeetOrNotToMeet]

I might sound like an ungrateful twat...

The gift is from my boyfriend (on/off - "on a break" at the moment, but he wants to get back together... and I wish we could as well... which is why I'm upset about this. We're just not the same.

We're at his mother's to celebrate my and her birthday. She puts on a big show, champagne, cake etc. There are six of us. We do gifts at the end. We're in a rented holiday cottage.
We swapped gifts. All very nice: ornaments, plants, choccies, jewelry, wine...

Then boyfriend pulls out a bag of apples and another bag of tomatoes and a piece of bamboo. He tells us to close our eyes and imagine being somewhere where these things are grown and being in a hotel and looking out of the window and it's raining.

Then there are three wrapped boxes. One for me. One for his mother. One for my daughter (aged 4) or his brother (aged 30). He still hasn't clarified. He says it doesn't matter who opens what, but if we get the wrong box, we won't like it.

It's three external hard drives.

We don't know whose is whose. We have no way of checking here.

He collects DVDs and Bluerays. He's obviously put a load of films on these hard drives.

I've told him in the past that I don't care about DVDs (his entire house is full of them - I mean so FULL that I can't visit. Hoarder full.). I have about 30 minutes a night to watch TV and I'm happy with Prime and Netflix).

So now, I've got to go home with a hard drive full of films that might be for his mother. She'll go home with one that could be meant for me or my kid.

I know he's probably spent time doing it (a lot of time) but I've already told him many many times that I have enough with what I have. I'm just not interested in all these fucking films.

And what the fuck are the fruit and vegetables all about?

Everything always has to be weird and cryptic and about him. If he'd asked me I'd have liked an Etsy voucher or a sodding candle.

Now he's really upset that nobody cares about his hard drives. But he hasn't even said what's on any of them.

It's mad. He's not talking to me for being so ungrateful and I just feel upset that he's given me something so weird.

AIBU?

Wrap up a cauliflower for him as a gift.

Then leave him!

Placemarking as I really need to know what's on the hard drive

@ToMeetOrNotToMeet

He won't tell me what the fruit, veg and bamboo is about. His brother looked at the hard drive. It's a load of films. He's so pissed off that I don't like it that he's gone to bed. I'm playing ficking scrabble with his mum. I'm off in the morning.

RTFT and managed to miss this!

His brother looked at your hard drive or his?

Hey hard drives can be pricey! Delete all the crap and keep it for your own use but yes, everything about this is baffling bc

Does his mum not think it’s weird? Or is she used to getting a marrow , bunch of twigs and an electrical item as a present?

This is one of weirdest threads I have ever read on MN...Good luck op

The bamboo and fruit made me think of pandas. I'm disappointed he didn't buy you a panda

Why are you in a cottage drinking champagne on your birthday with his family when you are on a break???

I'll be honest I'm still wondering why you are there, at the house of the mother of a man you are currently "on a break" from, celebrating your birthday.

Everything else just seems to flow from such a weird set up to me.

It's like a Wes Anderson film. Maybe he'd like that joke

I would have liked a 🐼.

I'm here because I like his family. I like him. I don't know.

I mean. You have to dump him, because this is 100% not working, but I just really need to know what the bamfuckingboo is all about, so I hope you can get that out of him first.

You can’t continue this relationship and you know that really.

Well at least his mums nice! Sorry but I really am chuckling. Just so random! I also love a game of scrabble.
I asked my mil what to get step fil for Xmas once and she said 'bogwood for the fish tank'. He has a brain injury and loves watching his fish. We went to a posh garden centre and bought the wood (pricey!). When he got it he was like 'what the hell? Twigs?!' Not rudely, he just didn't understand. I wished I got him his usual hankies and wine gums lol.

@ToMeetOrNotToMeet

I would have liked a 🐼.

I'm here because I like his family. I like him. I don't know.

It's not been clear from the thread what there is to like about him. It's a partial picture of course. He does sound like hard work though so the compensations would have to be good.

^^ This is my point. But it looks like a pile on is more fun. This whole thread has a real mean girl vibe about it I’m afraid. Hope you all get the presents you want or heaven help those around you😄😄

@Floundery

My thought was autistic too

Please don’t do this. Autistic =/= arsehole. If you wouldn’t use Jewish/black/Muslim/female in a particular sentence, don’t use autistic either.

Pretty please.

^^ This is my point. But it looks like a pile on is more fun. This whole thread has a real mean girl vibe about it I’m afraid. Hope you all get the presents you want or heaven help those around you😄😄

Sorry poor posting skills…

Reminiscent of the Dave Allen story about an apple, an orange and a piece of string.

@DontBlameMe79

^^ This is my point. But it looks like a pile on is more fun. This whole thread has a real mean girl vibe about it I’m afraid. Hope you all get the presents you want or heaven help those around you😄😄

You’re back again but still avoiding the question as to why you think not paying your way for your girlfriend’s birthday dinner, or buying her a necklace that represents something you know she hates is the behaviour of someone with autism 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ToMeetOrNotToMeet

He won't be taking us anywhere. He's too tight. There's just no way it's that. I've had three glasses of wine, so I can't drive home. Plus it's miles away. We're staying over. I don't want to upset his mum or my DD. She's excited to be here. He's not a bad person, but he needn't bother getting in a mood because he's chosen to spend the last six months pissing about with DVDs. He's off sick from work, so that's all he does. He's always copying DVDs. We'll, I just don't give a shit. I rescue cats. I run a cat sanctuary. Should I give everyone a cat for their birthday... with a bag of rocket and a fucking melon and then go in a strop when they don't look happy about it?

My birthday is in 4 days.. just sayin'

I don't get him. He doesn't get me.

This can't possibly be the recipe for a relationship that is anywhere near healthy, happy and stable long term.

I thought it was his clumsy way of taking you all on holiday. I’d be quite upset by that present to be honest… I don’t watch films either.

Isn't it piracy to copy dvds?

Cocothingy - yes that’s my point. This should not be conflated with autism in such a negative way. We have it in the family and have seen the cruelty of the casual commentator, like many on this thread. “It’s soooo funny, what a loooser…”. You get the idea.

The most accurate line in this whole thread is the OP’s very first one 😄😄

He did say if you get the wrong drive you would HATE it, so brother's drive is full of films and you do hate that. Any chance yours is full of something different and way better?

It's films though, isn't it.

I'm really sorry OP this disappointing and I can relate to that feeling that someone important to you doesn't really know you.

It sounds like he has trouble 'seeing' others, apart from as projections of himself, for some reason.

Someone close to me is like this, and would definitely put on a similar performance, so I really empathise!

@GreyFeederC0c0nut

Tomatoes may be for the Rotten Tomatoe film reviews

I was going to suggest this.

I’m stumped by the bamboo and apples though, unless he is maybe associating bamboo with Bollywood?