Hello,
I have a 16 month old and our neighbours are a married couple in their fifties.
They have three children, 26,28 and 32 and no grandchildren yet.
Ever since my son arrived, they have been doting over him.
Inviting him over, giving him food, playing with him.
We never leave him alone with them, either one of us or both of us is with him when he's invited over.
On the one hand I have absolutely no problem with them being so close to my son. The husband suffers from depression and doesn't work anymore and the wife has to work two jobs. They don't have it easy so I can understand how a toddler can bring light and joy to someone's life.
Let's call this couple Mr and Mrs Smith and my son is called Josh (names changed).
There are just some comments Mr Smith makes occasionally that I find cringeworthy.
For example:
- He said when he was playing with him: "Oh Josh, I want to go to bed with you"
- They knocked on our door in the evening and he said "Josh, I want to spend all night with you"
- Last time we were at their house Mr Smith was playing with Josh. He then made a sawing motion at his ear and said: "I want to cut off your ear and make bacon off it".
- The other day my husband left the house in the evening, because he had to go somewhere. Mr Smith was outside his house and he asked my husband: "Are you going to pick up Josh? (we send him to a childminder)" "I will come with you!"
- Usually I pick him up from the childminder in the evening. When I arrive back home, Mr Smith usually sits in his car, because he has to pick up his wife from work. When he sees Josh, he either pulls his window down to shout his name or comes out to interact with him
- Mr Smith has an alcohol problem as well. He drinks every evening, usually whiskey. In summer, when it was still warm at night, we often sat in our living room and heard Mr Smith singing in in the garden. It was obvious he was drunk and he was singing my son's name 😳 That has stopped now, either because it's too cold outside or perhaps because his wife asked him to drink less.
His wife always is very embarrassed when her husband makes those comments to my son and says "He doesn't mean it".
I know the comments are made in a certain context and I don't think Mr Smith is a pedophile.
Still, they give me a bad feeling and I feel like he is crossing boundaries he shouldn't.
It's very hard for me to know whether I am being unreasonable or not.
On the one hand they are a lovely couple with lovely children and are nice neighbours that we get on well with.
On the other hand his comments give me the creeps.
AIBU to feel this way?