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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you met your partner ?

186 replies

Crosswordqueen99 · 17/12/2021 15:22

I have a single friend who says she would like to meet someone nice, ( she's lovely, she deserves to), but all the men she meets online and / or on nights out make it plain they are just looking for sex.

I met my current boyfriend through a flatshare arrangement, ( it was a HMO). However, she is also a single parent to a two year old so wouldn't be able to meet a boyfriend in similar flat sharing circumstances to myself.

She can't meet anyone through work, ( she works in her aunty's buissiness, it is only her and her aunty there). She is also a single parent to a two year old so wouldn't be able to meet a boyfriend in similar flat sharing circumstances to myself.

So basically, how did you meet your partner ? I'm expecting there will be a lot of at work/ online/nights out but hopefully there may be something that will give idea's.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 17/12/2021 15:50

Another vote for tinder!

It’s heart warming to see so many have because always on MN you get “tinder is just for sex and there are no decent guys on there”

AD80 · 17/12/2021 15:51

I actually met my partner online but it was a decade ago. It was a time when online dating had become more acceptable but also before tinder was a thing (or if tinder was a thing we hadn't used it!). Turns out I went school with his sister and our younger siblings also went school together. Also our mums worked together. Small world. We didn't know each other at all before. Lived 10 minutes away from each other too!

First time on a dating site for both of us. The rest is history!

inksinkbink · 17/12/2021 15:53

Met my lovely partner on match.com
You just need to take your time, accept most people are wildly unsuitable but you only need ONE who is right. He's my one.

Chely · 17/12/2021 15:56

We met on a dance floor very drunk, many texts exchanged before we met again. Tbh I couldn't even remember what he looked like from our 1st meeting 🤣. Been together and married a long time now, still like him (most of the time).

TillyTopper · 17/12/2021 15:57

I met my other half at uni, we were doing the same degree course. A friend of mine also met her other half at adult education college on a photography course.

helloyoutoo8 · 17/12/2021 15:57

Another tinder one!
I'd only used it for 2 weeks and he was my second date. He was very very funny. We are 3 kids in now.
My advice is not to overthink everything and just enjoy it. If it becomes hard work to find someone I don't think it will happen.

Sparkai · 17/12/2021 15:57

Bumble here

YerDaSellsTheAvon · 17/12/2021 16:05

POF! Now married with a son and another on the way.

Icantthinkofausername123 · 17/12/2021 16:05

Plenty of fish here

CounsellorTroi · 17/12/2021 16:07

In a choir.

MsBubbles85 · 17/12/2021 16:07

We met via Tinder, I specifically put that I wasn't looking for one night stands and selected the guys I'd go on a date.
We have been married for over 2 years (plus 2 years of dating) and expecting our first baby.

macshoto · 17/12/2021 16:09

University reunion

firstimemamma · 17/12/2021 16:10

I met my husband on Match in 2015. Was only my second date, I was very lucky.

Pegasussnail · 17/12/2021 16:10

Local disco bar. Neither of is were drinking and we swapped emails and numbers. 16 years ago

HohohoCoughCough · 17/12/2021 16:11

We met on plenty of fish. You literally have to fish out the good ones. Grin 11.5 years later, very happily married and 2 children.

We didn't meet straight away. We got to know one another through texting and speaking on the phone every night for a few months. We said I love you, before we physically met. He asked me to be his girlfriend the first time we met. The rest is history.

Sunsetsupernova · 17/12/2021 16:16

On Hinge. I did online dating for years and I think it’s one of the better apps. You have to post a minimum number of photos and answer a few questions which appear on your profile so the men I met through it seemed a bit more invested in a relationship than other apps.

penguinwithasuitcase · 17/12/2021 16:16

Another Tinderer here!

He was my third date (the first took me on what I'm pretty sure was a drug deal and the second one pooped his pants within the first half hour).

He hates that we met online and always tells people we met at a gig because he's embarrassed about it, but hey... it gave me him, so I think it's great.

BoudecaBains · 17/12/2021 16:19

19, at University. In the refectory. For some reason I didn't have enough money my lunch. He was standing behind me in the queue and offered to pay for it. We sat down and had lunch together. The rest is history.

DeedIDo · 17/12/2021 16:20

We met when we were both co-opted into a campaign to save a historic building. As it happens, we failed, but we were married within three years and are coming up to our eighteenth anniversary.

Of course, once we got together we found that we'd always lived quite close to each other and we had a lot of mutual friends.

galacticpixels · 17/12/2021 16:22

We met on Tinder. I actually had a few shorter relationships from Tinder before I met my partner, too. I went on a lot of dates over a few years and while some of them were crap for various reasons, I never found myself out with someone who only wanted sex... I always found it very easy to tell who those people were from just chatting.

A LOT of my friends and coworkers met their partners on Tinder/Bumble. It's really normal in my circle.

runsmidgeOMG · 17/12/2021 16:22

Another bumble !!! Tbf... I didn't find the online process as bad as some horror stories I've heard. I went on 3 dates (4 including my partner) 1st... mutual agreement we weren't for each other.. 2nd... saw him for about a month or 2, there was something missing. Parted on happy terms 3rd NO !!!!
4th (now DP) met within 24hrs of talking, walked to pub, a couple of soft drinks and the rest is history.

Didn't sleep with any of them or had the opinion that's what they were after.

Best online dating tips:

  1. If you get a good chat going meet them sooner rather than later. There's no point talking for ages to then meet them and find there's no spark in person. (Safely of course !) I always had 2 friends on standby.
  2. I didn't really go for the "posing hot guys" they don't appeal to me and this will sound proper judgy but from what I've heard from others they're the ones more likely to be after one thing.
  3. Limit unfiltered photos. filters are a huge confidence boost and lots of fun and one of mine was BUT what I've also gathered from some guys I've spoken to is they prefer to see who they're going to meet without bunny ears or the flawless finish. If they like you, it'll be for you and people CAN tell. It'll make them wonder what else you have to hide.

HTH 😘

Asi1 · 17/12/2021 16:22

Arranged marriage, we met for 5 minutes at the start ( proposal) then when l went to get married another very brief meeting with us and our families.

We didn't have any communication during that time or our engagement.

First time, l actually sat next to my husband was on a our wedding day and spoke maybe 5 words to him.

In our 4th year of marriage and have a little girl

Hunderland · 17/12/2021 16:23

@Muthalucka

Nightclub in the mid 00s
Nightclub in the mid 90's Grin
Hellocatshome · 17/12/2021 16:24

I met him at university when I joined the fencing club. I accidentally stabbed him in the privates with a sword.

TheCanyon · 17/12/2021 16:24

On a Facebook football team supporters group. We spoke for a few months and then he came up to Glasgow from London for a match/us to meet, he didn't leave!! It's been 12 years.