To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

@louderthan this! But people don’t think our DHs count as professional because they don’t have to wear suits all day or work in an office.

[quote RussianSpy101]@louderthan this! But people don’t think our DHs count as professional because they don’t have to wear suits all day or work in an office.[/quote]
Yep!! I have a degree and a masters level professional qualification but I work in the public sector and will never earn anywhere near what he does...!

@louderthan and I bet he has abs too!

Also: tradesmen tend to have no airs and graces and great bodies. Much better than my ex, an Oxbridge-educated banker with a weird adult baby fetish.... I kid you not!

[quote SpongeBobJudgeyPants]@louderthan and I bet he has abs too! [/quote]
Cross-post!!! 😂

But people don’t think our DHs count as professional because they don’t have to wear suits all day or work in an office.

To me, being a 'professional' usually means being educated to degree level or above and being a member of a chartered governing body that allows you to practice. Any muppet can wear a suit and work in an office. I spent much of my 20s working offshore or in 'hardship' locations in west Africa. When I got home after a rotation I looked like backpacker as I would return to the UK in jeans and t-shirt, shaven and sporting a sun tan while lugging an enormous North Face duffel bag. It was always amusing how I got treated by some folk based on a snap judgement that I was some loser drifter.

*unshaven

(damn the lack of an edit function)

But the day isn't over OP I have often checked my balance in the morning and not been paid and then again after lunch to find I've been paid

Wrong thread sorry 🤣

My ex was on over 150k
He was also a misogynistic tosser who treated every spend as a treat that had to be paid for somehow.
Lovely house, I single handedly kept it clean and tidy (I worked more hours than him)
Lovely holidays, I was expected to put out porn star style for that
Lovely car, I was expected to drop everything and be his taxi, even if it was 3am and I had work the next day.
Lovely clothes, I didn't get to chose how I presented myself
Etc.
Him and his mates were into poker, coke and prostitutes, even the supposed 'nice' ones, they all cheated on their wives.
I'm now so happy with someone that brings home a similar amount to me.
I'd never consider a high earner again.
They were all either Bankers or business owners.
You pay for it in your own way.
Especially when you give up work to raise his kids.

YANBU to ask as earning potential is perfectly reasonable criteria to want to have in a potential partner. On MN you get beaten by the mob and branded a gold digger if you dare suggest that income could play a role in a relationship if true love is involved. Then you get loads of threads with the most insane budgeting tips when the actual truth is that you simply need more money per month to have a dignified standard of living.

The majority of women "lucky" enough to be married to high earning men met them in university or during a time when they weren't earning much. Think medical students, law trainees, junior consultants, tech interns etc. Most will be on mainstream dating apps like Tinder, it's just a question of weeding through the charlatans. Do not go on apps designed for sugar baby dating because you will get the disgusting sleazy men on there.

• A man who defines himself by his wealth is always a bad sign. Anyone who sees themselves as a sugar daddy or being able to use their money to many their partner happy should raise warning bells. In the best case it just means you're replaceable, in the worst case they're looking for prostitution without actually going to a brothel.

• If a guy acts flashy and tried to impress you with money then they're usually fake. There's a small subset of men who come from wealthy families, went to private school, have posh friends, so they know how to "walk the walk" but are actually useless and unemployed in real life. Family money often means nothing because there's no guarantee how much longer the parents are willing to support them. They will try to impress you with designer clothes, love to talk a lot about crypto, probably smokes weed or drinks too much so run a mile with those.

• A guy who is humble and genuinely interested in his work is always a good sign. If he is passionate about his field of study like medicine then he will advance his career pretty quickly. Many men like these are looking for long term relationships because they want a woman to support them in their everyday life.

• Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to super high earning as a female to find a wealthy partner. You just need to be interesting, fun and enrich his life in some way. We know plenty of dentists who married their assistant and there's usually a big age and education gap there. However the dynamic works because they feel supported and cared for by that person at work so there's no reason they wouldn't get along in a domestic context.

• There is another type of high earning man who will be in a long term relationship for ages but reluctant to pay for everything. He will probably insist the woman pay her half or even choose activities/holidays that both can afford. This may seem uncaring but we also know several relationships like this which are quite harmonious. It may be a personal quirk based on how they grew up and people have different attitudes to money.

@DillonPanthersTexas oh I completely agree regarding appearances! People love to judge your income based on the way you’re dressed when they meet you

Ducksareruiningmypatio

Your problem there was not that your ex was a high earner, but the fact that he was a dickhead.

The thing though about being an attractive younger woman married to a high earning man is that you are a depreciating asset. He may well decide he needs to upgrade more than his car. Earning that amount of money, he is probably smart enough to have everything tied up in trusts and companies and you may find that yourself somewhat older and getting very little even with the UK law's strange reluctance to give effect to pre-nuptial agreements.

@Toplowlight

The best way to meet high-earning men is to be a high-earning woman.

This.

The way you meet these men, unless you want the sleezy sugar daddy types via an app and sex work, is, at work.

Aim higher for yourself.

You stand a far better chance of living a good, stable lifestyle if you work towards becoming the high earner yourself rather than working towards marrying one.

Divorce rate is 42%, unhappy marriage rate a lot higher.

If you earn the money - you'd have complete control of your own life and finances.

As Lady Gaga said; “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.”

And another quote (from Everybody's Free) "Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund; maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out."

@DillonPanthersTexas

Ducksareruiningmypatio

Your problem there was not that your ex was a high earner, but the fact that he was a dickhead.

I've found that high earning men tend to have a greater chance of being a dickhead to be honest There are exceptions (like an absolutely lovely guy I went on several dates with) But financial imbalance doesn't generally work

My new chap is on over £100k, I'm not sure how much exactly. I met him on Hinge but we had known each other vaguely for over a decade (through working in politics).

You meet them at work

@MatildaIThink

I met my husband at the last year of uni when we earned very little, working around studying our degrees. He went into work after his BSc and slowly worked his way up in an entirely unrelated field, before having a large jump when he set up his own business and went into consultancy. I kept studying, did a masters, the a PhD, I worked on low ish pay until I worked my way up to leading research projects.

On the other side, my brother is single, he earns £400-500k pa, he has tried dating the last few years and although Covid has obviously not helped, one of the problems is there seems to be a lot of women wanting "professional men", which seems to be code for someone to sponge off. He is not bothered about a potential partner being on a similar income, the reality of that is very unlikely, but he does want someone who isn't just looking to be a parasite.

It's funny isn't it when men describe women as parasites because they don't have the same earning power.

Men do incredibly well out of women from cradle to grave - that's why married men are more happy and healthy than single men, and the opposite for women.

But, yeah, women are the parasites

In 2021 think most men earning that much will probably date women who earn similar.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=dZsL5R_CR-k

Cher - she said it best🙂

Earning that amount of money, he is probably smart enough to have everything tied up in trusts and companies

This really is nonsense

I met my husband when he was a pizza boy and earning about £14k.

He's worked his way up through accountancy and is now Director level.

I think in general nowadays men are much more aware of women who are just after money and a luxury lifestyle though.

To be fair to OP, there are plenty of high earning men that love to have a woman they can spend their hard earned $$$ on, just as much as there are women that love the receiving end!

Not speaking from experience cause I'm one of those 'strong independent women... that needs a bloke to reach the high shelves every now and then cause I'm vertically challenged' but I've certainly seen about it on documentaries.

My best guess is some 'sugar baby' website but I wouldn''t expect an actual long-term, loving relationship out of it as it's more of a fetish/convenience thing...