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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No school for you today then?

331 replies

DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 21:59

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

OP posts:
Savoretti · 15/12/2021 22:00

I would have simply taken that as him making polite conversation

pinkstripeycat · 15/12/2021 22:02

I like your response 😂 . I’d have said they go to a private school so have longer holidays than state school, we PAY for our children’s education (just to be snobby and make him raise his eyebrows)

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 15/12/2021 22:03

I absolutely loathe it when people make that comment. Not sure why it gives me the rage but it does. Like they're passing a quiet judgement over my child not being at school. I used to find myself explaining why (dentist etc) now I just say 'no'.

Hercisback · 15/12/2021 22:03

You got offended by that? Wow.

Original poster
DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 22:03

Maybe I am just sensitive then. I just had a feeling someone would challenge me about DC being out and about so maybe I was just being argumentative

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 15/12/2021 22:04

I’d have told him I was giving them a short break from sweeping chimneys then they’d be straight back to it

Whinge · 15/12/2021 22:04

@Savoretti

I would have simply taken that as him making polite conversation
Agreed. OP I don't understand your anger or irritation. It sounds like it was just general chit chat. Confused
Original poster
DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 22:08

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 15/12/2021 22:08

It's a standard way to make polite conversation with a child. It wasn't a way to find out about your school choice or how much of a skiver your son is. Some adults genuinely like to talk to children.

Hercisback · 15/12/2021 22:09

Of course they'd say it to a man. It's just chit chat. It was said to the kids really.

LubaLuca · 15/12/2021 22:09

He wasn't challenging you though. He was just stating the obvious to try to open up a little conversation with your son.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/12/2021 22:12

Yabu, for assuming everyone can work!

Your comment was incredibly rude and his was just polite conversation.

thumpingrug · 15/12/2021 22:12

@pinkstripeycat

I like your response 😂 . I’d have said they go to a private school so have longer holidays than state school, we PAY for our children’s education (just to be snobby and make him raise his eyebrows)
Just to be clear, I have paid for all my children education though a fair contribution to the tax and national insurance system.
Spitspotsput · 15/12/2021 22:14

In the queue at the bank? He was bored. Just feel lucky that you can afford to send your children to a school that is so good you are expected to find something for them to do for longer than us mere mortals. Hmm

HangOnToYourself · 15/12/2021 22:15

It doesnt sound like he was challenging you tho, literally just being friendly and making conversation with your child

soapboxqueen · 15/12/2021 22:16

He was making idle conversation. It wasn't a challenge.

CouncilHousedAndViolentBaby · 15/12/2021 22:19

Lol he was trying to be friendly it sounds
Not rude/creepy or anything

EarringsandLipstick · 15/12/2021 22:20

That's desperate. He was making chit chat, really with your DS. You were rude.

There's no sense of this being a male/female divide, that he wouldn't have said this to a man.

CheshireChat · 15/12/2021 22:22

It's hard to say without hearing his tone of voice, there's definitely a type of older man (usually) who love to put women and kids in their place.

There's a big difference between someone who'll react with
"bet you're loving it, more time at home before Christmas"= chitchat
And
"kids these days seem to be off all the time"= dick.

LocalHobo · 15/12/2021 22:23

I just don't get how he was "challenging" you? He was making conversation. You must have some backstory here to feel that men who are older than you question your authority and for that, I am sorry.

maddy68 · 15/12/2021 22:26

Why are you offended by aam trying to make conversation? Jesus no wonder people don't bother

NerrSnerr · 15/12/2021 22:26

He was making conversation. Just bored chitchat.

rainbowunicorn · 15/12/2021 22:28

You were very rude. He was making conversation not challenging you. People like you are the reason we live in such unfriendly times. You are not really setting your child a very good example.

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 15/12/2021 22:28

Lol, don’t home educate. You won’t cope!

Original poster
DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 22:34

@CheshireChat it was def more of the ‘kids off all time’ tone. I wouldn’t think to start a conversation like that. It’s just so random.

OP posts:
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