No school for you today then?

[DinosaurStompGrrrr]

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

He was probably just chatting because he was bored in the queue. I doubt he had speculated about why your child was off school or cared.

Your reaction is odd. We don't have the same holidays as where my parents live, when we go to visit we get this all the time. It's a non-event, people are just chatting, get a grip!

He was talking nonsense, in the same vein as "you've got your hands full" said to a parent whose children are waiting like angels. Or "you've lost the baby!" If you ever push an empty pushchair. People just say random nonsense.

You're response wasn't rude, it was spot on.

My family live in a part of UK that has different school holidays to where I live. I've often had people saying this to us, never once taken offence, just chat back to them.

Your response was quite chippy

Not sure why it needs that

Isn't that a perfectly normal thing to ask?

YABVU. Nobody "challenged" you. He was making polite conversation!

Oh wow. Poor man. I can imagine my Dad saying this to someone in the queue and there isn't a bad bone in his body. He lives alone and likes to chat. Heck, I'd probably say it myself if the kid turned around in the queue just as a boredom break. Why do we have to get offended about everything? Has it gone to the stage where idle chit chat is offensive?

You sound very professional, professional offended that is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Well nobody really, truly gives a shit why someone else's kid isn't in school do they?

So it wasn't a genuine, probing question designed to out your child as a sliver.

It was just small talk. It used to happen a lot but less so now, probably people take offence so easily.

Surely the correct response is - no we home educate actually, no we have a dental appointment, so he's finished for Christmas now. Or whatever. Not basically fuck you why do you want to know about our personal choices. Depressing.

I really think it just sounds like polite conversation. It's just general small talk. Some people are lonely and talking to strangers may be the only adults they speak to.

I feel your pain OP
Places middle aged men have brought up to me teachers holidays/why we have training days/ any other weird anti teacher stuff
In the supermarket
Whilst in a jacuzzi after swimming
Whilst I was crying after a really difficult break up
At my own fathers funeral (yes you read that right, a neighbour of my father literally started on me out of the blue in my own house)

A youngish man was talking to my eighteen month old grandson yesterday. He was friendly and very complimentary about my grandson. I'm over seventy so I don't think he was trying to chat me up. At the end of the convo I thanked him sincerely for being so kind and making my day. I told him that he was a very nice man, which he was. It is so lovely being old and able to think the best of people. It seems wrong to me that some mothers are so judgmental if someone older speaks to them. Not a good example to set their children even if they are privately educated and discouraged from speaking to the hoi polloi

And what would be so bad about having worked for your money? If I was new money I’d be proud but don’t agree with the original comment anyway. Just hate the”new money” thing being used as an insult.

I think he was just trying to make conversation. It was rude of you.

Something like "they broke up on Friday" was really all that was needed.

Polite conversation misinterpreted.

Perhaps you should have badges made for your child, explaining that they go to private school and that conversation with older people or ordinary people is not allowed

I think that OP's response was absolutely fine and matched the man's question. If he was genuinely making a chit chat he would take it as a good natured figure of speech. If he was making a dig towards OP for whatever reason them he would get offended.

Queue small talk goes both ways.

@Savoretti

I would have simply taken that as him making polite conversation

Totally agree with this.

Uptight much?! Sounds like he was just making normal conversation.

Is this a symptom of Covid culture or have people always been so paranoid and stiff?

People who want to make conversation often point out the inane because you're a complete stranger. Maybe the bloke was feeling a bit lonely?! And people often do talk to people with children or the child themselves because they think they're being friendly and are less likely to get shut down.

Well he'll not try to chat to you again. I think you were being an arse tbh

It was polite conversation. A thing older men have probably been brought up to do. Don't be so offended.

*Good grief. People like you really make me worry about my sons' futures in society. People constantly looking for sexism and being rude to men for merely functioning in society....
*

Totally agree absolutely ridiculous post!!

@TheRealMrsMorningstar

Uptight much?! Sounds like he was just making normal conversation.

OP said up thread that his tone was judgemental. Probably why it ticked her off. Does not sound like a normal friendly conversation.