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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No school for you today then?

331 replies

DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 21:59

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

OP posts:
Bloodypunkrockers · 15/12/2021 23:16

Total overreaction

Jumpalicious · 15/12/2021 23:16

@kikipie

Wow, I hope you never have anything really serious happen
This! Bonkers. And rude.
OhGiveUp · 15/12/2021 23:17

Bloody hell, I said the exact same thing to a child in the supermarket queue this morning who was with I assume, her Father.
I'd better go give myself a damned good flogging for daring to challenge a young man.

BurntO · 15/12/2021 23:17

@NoNameHere12 or woman are instinctively wary of random men starting conversations, wonder why

Jumpalicious · 15/12/2021 23:17

Of you op, to be clear!

NinaDefoe · 15/12/2021 23:17

@BlackSwan

Totally depends on tone, expression & how he said it.

And your response too.

If you felt he was being a dick, I suspect you were right.

I’m sure OP will return and tell us it was spat out venomously to justify her horrible response.
BurntO · 15/12/2021 23:19

@NinaDefoe can you elaborate on why her response was “horrible”?

Original poster
DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 23:23

Not to drip feed but he did a whole looking at his watch, ‘what’s the date?’ bonkers routine? It just felt more forced than ‘Hello little boy are you enjoy your holidays?’

OP posts:
Sebastianthecoo · 15/12/2021 23:23

Literally no one ever has commented on my DC not being at school when they are with me for whatever reason during ‘school time’. No one ever challenged me regarding breastfeeding in public either. I feel I’ve missed out on a good reason to start a MN thread.

Kshhuxnxk · 15/12/2021 23:24

@pinkstripeycat

I like your response 😂 . I’d have said they go to a private school so have longer holidays than state school, we PAY for our children’s education (just to be snobby and make him raise his eyebrows)
Ah but that would show you up as nee.money and classless wouldn't it.

OP Yabu

Justananimalcrossing · 15/12/2021 23:26

Conveniently removed the voting buttons.

So... [YABU] ✓

NinaDefoe · 15/12/2021 23:28

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

Not to drip feed but he did a whole looking at his watch, ‘what’s the date?’ bonkers routine? It just felt more forced than ‘Hello little boy are you enjoy your holidays?’
Maybe - ‘Crikey, is it the Christmas holidays already! Isn’t time flying by! Still feels like the middle of November...’
SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2021 23:28

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
So what was his tone like? Because you didn't comment in his tone being challenging or rude
SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2021 23:33

I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own.well quite. I imagine asking a man in his own "no school then?" would be a bit odd as the answer would be "not for years / decades"

Jeanlope · 15/12/2021 23:33

If this is your only first world problem.. You're very lucky.
You've made this into a mountain.

mandes1 · 15/12/2021 23:38

I literally think this every time I see a school age child in town with their parent during term time. I think your reaction was a bit defensive, but you've probably got the message by now! x

DysmalRadius · 15/12/2021 23:38

We home ed and my kids get asked this when they are out with me, their dad or all of us together. It's just an unusual sight to see school age kids out during regular school hours, so it's a bit of chat in a situation where they might otherwise talk about the weather or the length of the queue!

Kite22 · 15/12/2021 23:41

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?

What on earth are you on about ?
Leap, much ?

If you can be offended by a bit of casual friendly chit chat in a queue I have no idea how you get through life generally.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 15/12/2021 23:42

He was probably worried that your DC might have been off sick with something infectious, and wanted to check in a tactful way that this wasn't the case.

lynntheyresexpeople · 15/12/2021 23:45

It's just making conversation, nothing to do with you being a woman. He was engaging with your child, not you. Do you normally get so wound up over non events? Confused

3peassuit · 15/12/2021 23:46

It sounds like general chitchat between strangers rather than him challenging your parenting. I wouldn’t have taken offence.

NatriumChloride · 15/12/2021 23:49

Really, OP, you’re offended by this? It seems like you’re just looking for offence where there is none. My son was off school recently and with his dad and the same was said to my DH in a queue - “Oh I didn’t realise school was out already” etc. absolutely zero there to get offended by.

NatriumChloride · 15/12/2021 23:50

@pinkstripeycat

I like your response 😂 . I’d have said they go to a private school so have longer holidays than state school, we PAY for our children’s education (just to be snobby and make him raise his eyebrows)
Really, really stupid. What’s private school got to do with anything?
Cocomarine · 15/12/2021 23:52

Oh come on. You’ve even said that you expected to be challenged on it. So it clearly sounds like it was coming from your own expectation.

Spitspotsput · 15/12/2021 23:55

@NatriumChloride the OP said her child was private schooled therefore longer hols