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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No school for you today then?

331 replies

DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 21:59

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

OP posts:
Doodar · 15/12/2021 23:55

Poor bloke, just wanted a chat. You sound very uptight.

musicviking1 · 15/12/2021 23:59

I would have taken it as making conversation.

RestingMurderousFace · 16/12/2021 00:00

That wouldn't be a battle I'd pick.

montysma1 · 16/12/2021 00:01

Fuck. Sake.

Normando91 · 16/12/2021 00:02

Aw, that poor man has probably gone home feeling utterly shite about himself simply for trying to make some friendly chit chat to a child while in a queue for the bank. Poor bugger 😞

SunnyCoco · 16/12/2021 00:02

Ffs

PoinsettaPrincess · 16/12/2021 00:02

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
He never challenged you for goodness sake. He was making conversation 🙄
Flowers500 · 16/12/2021 00:02

Wow you were incredibly rude over absolutely nothing. Is eye contact a personal affront to you?

emptyvesselsmakethemostnoise · 16/12/2021 00:03

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
Goodness, he was making polite conversation not challenging you. What example did you think you were setting your DC by being deliberately rude to a stranger?
HelloCovid · 16/12/2021 00:04

No, he wouldn't have said it to a man.

Chachasha · 16/12/2021 00:06

Men make different kinds of conversation with women but I really don't think it was likely to have been meant in the way you took it.

ClaudiaJ1 · 16/12/2021 00:13

How did he respond when you said ‘no work for you today then?’

MintLampShade · 16/12/2021 00:16

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ What??!! Why wouldn't he say that to a man (presuming he has a child with him ofc)??? And why do you think he was challenging you as a woman / mother?? Why on Earth?? You really can't say anything these days without offending someone. Absolutely bonkers batshit crazy world.
WorraLiberty · 16/12/2021 00:17

What makes me laugh is the OP will probably be queuing up along with other MNetters, to comment on the threads stating 'Brits are the most unfriendly lot, when it comes to children'.

It's no bloody wonder if any of them read MN, they'll be scared to talk to them.

expat101 · 16/12/2021 00:20

When your children are grown you lose track of the school terms and esp these days with lockdowns and the like. However, it reads to me he was just being polite and saying something rather bland that isn't offensive.

Heaven help us when people can no longer talk to one another because they are worried about causing offense...

Happymum12345 · 16/12/2021 00:20

I’m very sensitive to comments, but would not have thought of anything to someone saying that. Perhaps it was the way it was said?

Icanflyhigh · 16/12/2021 00:24

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
How is polite conversation deemed as challenging?
ApricotStew · 16/12/2021 00:27

'No school today?' is said in queues up and down the country every weekday. By men and women to men and women. These people really aren't concerned that a child's not at school, let alone up for 'challenging' parents about it. It's a friendly acknowledgement of being in the same boat, in a queue. A passing the time of day activity.

I think I'd be quite upset if somebody snapped back at me like that.
It's not so much rude, as aggressive.

AppleBottomedJeans · 16/12/2021 00:31

I've been known to say this and would expect the answer to be a standard "oh off for Christmas now" or "no it's the dentist today" or some some such. It's a bit like asking "how're you?" It's polite but you don't really care about the answer haha

Seemssounfair · 16/12/2021 00:44

I must be mad, but I love having conversations with random people in queues, even the boring ones as you know it won't be for long and you'll never see them again 🤣

I had my booster at the weekend and I had a great natter with those around me. Found out about a couple of things happening in our town and some hints about uni applications for ds.

OP, you model the world you want your ds to grow up in, polite friendly conversations or being rude and he'll copy you in the future.

julieca · 16/12/2021 00:56

This thread is an example of why I no longer chat to mums with kids that I don't know. I chat to other strangers still.
There are good reasons that lots of British people are not that friendly to kids they don't know.

Rockmehardplace · 16/12/2021 00:58

You were rude.

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2021 01:01

OP, you model the world you want your ds to grow up in, polite friendly conversations or being rude and he'll copy you in the future.

This ^^

You'll end up exhausted if you raise kids who take offence at every little thing and tbh, they'll find it very hard to make friends.

StoppinBy · 16/12/2021 01:02

That's not a challenge, it's someone being friendly. Sounds like he was just having a chat.

I'd just see it as someone who doesn't have a lot of social contact and enjoys it.

Your reaction to it is what I struggle to understand.

NewbieSM · 16/12/2021 01:17

This has got to be the most ridiculous complaint. He wasn't "challenging a young woman" not everything is sexist for gods sake. He was making conversation and if you felt it was too personal, you didn't have to respond. If this is your biggest issue today then count yourself lucky, some people have REAL problems Confused

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