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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
StarfishDish · 15/12/2021 19:59

@Babymamaroon

Maybe I've got bigger problems to worry about in my life but...does it really matter?!

In the grand scheme of all that is wrong in this world I just couldn't get that worked up about this.

@Babymamaroon Yes it does! People lead busy lives. Why should he get to walk past people whove been waiting?!
Lalliella · 15/12/2021 19:59

Say very loudly so that everyone can hear “Excuse me, this is the queue, would you mind waiting your turn like everyone else”

LOLeater · 15/12/2021 20:00

I would like to explain that I have drunk red wine but this thread has made my blood boil.

Do not tolerate this. It is arrogant shit and if you need back up, I’ll be your wing woman.

Stand your ground. Massive calm. Do not tolerate the twat.

sonjadog · 15/12/2021 20:00

I think you have been very patient not to have said anything before.

sage46 · 15/12/2021 20:01

He sounds like an entitled knob, however I am wondering if he has an agreement with the school that he gets to fast track collecting his child for a health reason, to give time dependent medication or insulin for example?

Sally872 · 15/12/2021 20:01

Good luck op. YADNBU.

Branleuse · 15/12/2021 20:03

i think id ask the teacher if there was a better system since the only man seems to not take any notice of it

tillytoodles1 · 15/12/2021 20:03

I hate it when people roll their eyes but don't say anything. I was in the waiting room in the hospital, as I'd broken my leg and a woman sitting few seats away was chatting on her mobile despite the fact there were signs everywhere saying all phones should be switched off.
In the end I said " excuse me, can you read"?

pointing to the sign and she said to the person she was chatting to "ill have to go, Im being told off". I replied that she could do what she wanted after I'd had my x-ray, but to wait until I'd gone. Even though everyone there was waiting for x-rays, they just sat there rolling their eyes.

PaperTrails · 15/12/2021 20:05

There was an entitled queue barging twatdad at DC's primary school. Nobody said anything.

It was 19 years ago. But we haven't forgotten. Oh no.

Take. Him. Down.

user33323 · 15/12/2021 20:05

This would boil my piss, and I do confeont queue jumpers regularly. However I have noticed that there are children in each of the three classes in my child's year that are sent out first every day, all have SEN. So I would be careful to mention it to the teacher rather than publicly call him on it, because if there is a reason like that then you would look unreasonable not him.

gavisconismyfriend · 15/12/2021 20:08

Let him get to the front of the queue, then waltz along the length of the queue and stand in front of him. See what he does. If he challenges you just say you thought that it was normal to go to the front of the queue cos he does it every day.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 15/12/2021 20:10

Stick your foot out and trip him up. Twat.

IamGusFring · 15/12/2021 20:13

Pretend you don't know who he is and say "oh sorry there is a new queuing system here - you have to wait in a line " and see what he does .

Thatsplentyjack · 15/12/2021 20:15

I would stand slightly out of the queue every day so he has to ask to get passed, and when he does I would point out there's a queue.

NannaMcPhoo · 15/12/2021 20:16

Next time you see him walking down the queue you stand to the side and accidently on purpose block his way. The kind of awkward side to side dance when two people are trying to get past eachother, you do that but on purpose and then suddently say very loudly and with conviction.

"Sorry mate. Back of the queue is down there" and point

NannaMcPhoo · 15/12/2021 20:18

Wait cancel my suggestion and go with OI TWATDAD. That is so much better

SuffolkDreams · 15/12/2021 20:19

How awful. Just have a word with the teacher and get them to ask him to wait in line.

appleturnovers · 15/12/2021 20:19

What probably happened was: the first couple of times it happened, the other people in the queue were so taken aback they didn't know what to say.

Then next thing they knew, they'd let it go on for too long and now feel it's too late say anything.

That mean's you're basically the only person who can do anything now.

Please do, I can't stand queue-jumpers.

ChotaPeg · 15/12/2021 20:25

I'd go for "if you want to be at the front of the queue, you need to get here earlier". Makes your point, doesn't invite discussion.

Yes, I am over 40.

Squeezita · 15/12/2021 20:25

I would have given him short shrift long ago. Depressing that the 'lovely young mums' just take this.

Definitely address it, OP.

Grottytoilet · 15/12/2021 20:27

As apple said, you’re the only one who can save the day now.
You shall be a hero Flowers

WineAway · 15/12/2021 20:28

No sorrys or excuse mes.

Random man, there is a queue here. Do not skip the queue, you must wait you turn

Anything he says, repeat.

shrunkenhead · 15/12/2021 20:28

I'm guessing that even if you pointed out his error he'd make a joke/"bants" about it and belittle you, he sounds like that "type" . Clearly thinks the works revolves around him.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 15/12/2021 20:29

I feel murderous just reading about him. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself telling him he’s being a twat. There is something about a queue CF that really boils the blood.

sydenhamhiller · 15/12/2021 20:29

@LittleMG

Take. Him. Down.
Ha! This.
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