Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

[NadjaofAntipaxos]

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

Placemarking.
I really hope you said something, hate cheeky selfish people.

Trip him up when he’s walking up the path

the twat-horn

😂

Say 'ahem, there's a queue!' firmly and loudly, as any decent English person surely would!

He looks round surprised, you say 'we're all waiting too'. Maintain eye contact, with firm intent.

Surely everyone knows how to do this? I'm AMAZED it hasn't already happened.

@Joolsin

I would have to make a special pet project of this, OP. Can't understand why anyone hasn't pulled him up on it before now. He's banking on this continuing, the chancer. Go for it, and update frequently!!!

I very much agree. I would just start at him for the fun of it. Like a nice little project to vent your nearly two years of COVID frustrations on!

Take him down.

I can’t believe no one has said anything. I’d absolutely get to the front of the queue and firmly and loudly point out that there’s a queue and stand firm with eye contact until he took his ass back to the end. What a twat

Love to know how this ends

I'd be all over this like a dog on heat.

Finish him. You've nothing else to do whilst waiting to pick up DS and 14 years of school runs with this bloke is a lot of school runs. Let him know you're not to be messed with.

People barging in the front of queues gives me such a rage!
I worked in a shop for about 4 year so have no problem yelling out "Sorry there's a queue" and pointing to the end.
I am the furious little person standing there, foot tapping and saying; OI! QUEUE!

Sounds like someone who wouldn’t take any notice of procedures, and gets a kick out of winding women up. Just ignore him

Hope op isn't in the cells for lobbing stale lemon drizzle cake.

@Flowerflumps

Probably would go a different route to most. I wouldn't point out the queue because like you said he would probably have some comment back as to why he is special. I would make a big deal of following suit.

"Oh do we not queue anymore?" And following him right to the front and wait for the response of teacher/ everyone else. Then explain in my naivety that because he does it I thought the school must have stopped it

I like this approach. Especially if the OP can pull it off with sounding surprised and innocent, maybe even add a tinkly laugh and "Oh, aren't we silly!" when someone says queueing is sitll a thing.

Have you considered that he may have a condition - high functioning or ADHD. His behaviour suggests there is something wrong. Perhaps rather ask why you want to make it your mission. I mean, it is the teacher's responsibility to address the fact that he is holding up the cue. All the other parents have decided to let it go. There are reasons but they not worth making a bad atmosphere. Why are you taking it so personally?

I'm absolutely amazed that noone has said anything. And by "said", I mean:

• Tutted loudly
• Sighed
• Paddington hard stares and pointy looks
• Made a "passing" comment "SOME people around here queue" etc
• Muttered if not brave enough for the above
• More sighing, looks and pointed elbow folding when he's engaged in "bants"

I mean we have these non confrontational communication skills - why aren't people using them?! This is exactly what they are for!

Come on @NadjaofAntipaxos
Did you stop him with your ☂️ ?
Kick his legs from under him?
Shout 'back of the Queue you fucking entitled shit? '
Wallop him?

Please don't tell us you quietly simmered 🙏🏻
We are all counting on you

This sort of sh1t absolutely grinds my gears. I can't stand queue jumpers.

Tbh I would already have taken him down if it were me, then would have had a huge telling off from the dc.

The rational side of me knows its not the right thing to do, but I'm gobby.

As a menopausal person whose fuckit switch has been well and truly flipped, I too would tell him in no uncertain terms where the back of the queue is. I’ve dealt with that sort of person many a time.
I was always quite shy, but in my first pregnancy when I was 18, two kids pushed to the front of the bus queue. It was a hot day, and I saw red. I bellowed “Hoy! Get to the back of the queue!” To which they did indeed go. The bus driver and several passengers cheered. I’m telling you this, because I can guarantee you there’s a lot of people in your queue probably all wishing they could say something to him, and the minute someone does, he’s going to get 30 pairs of eyes laser fixed on him. There’ll either be an awkward silence (for him) or some supportive comments from the others.
If telling him there’s a queue doesn’t work, ask him straight out if there’s a reason he goes straight to the front of the queue every day.
If he gets arsey, or tries to joke, keep saying “what do you mean?” Don’t argue with him. Let the trash take itself out. People soon realise they aren’t as funny as they think they are when they’re asked to explain their “jokes” and banter.
Normally I’d recommend taking them aside for a private word, but that generally doesn’t work so well on people like that. He sounds like he thrives on an audience, loves the attention. He sounds insecure and trying to compensate for it by being a “lad”

I’m not sure if I’ve read all the comments just yet, but it’s still stands to reason that even if you have spoken to him, he sounds like the sort that will carry on, and make a show of it. Hopefully, he’ll be embarrassed instead.
(And he wouldn’t get past me in my mobility scooter, I’d accidentally catch his toes 🤭)

Narcissistic twat alert.
I would definitely get there early again and firstly hold your space in the queue so that he can't pass, secondly be prepared to engage with him, cause a scene and stand your ground and thirdly, the teacher should not be allowing this queue jumping so perhaps say to her that all of the parents are fed up with his behaviour and ask the teacher to explain why he gets special treatment everyday.

I can't believe the teacher is allowing such rude behaviour! If they politely apologized and explained there is a queue and the parent will have to wait, he really would get bored of strolling to the front. I'd talk to the teacher first as they may not realize how politely you all wait.

@PuntasticUsername

Fuck the cunt up. Stale lemon drizzle cake to the back of the head should do it.

Howling 🤣😂🤣😂

Does his child have special needs? It's always worth checking. If not, then just stand in his way and let him try and excuse himself- then just tell him that you are all waiting for your children. I'm amazed the teacher allows it.

If this entire queue of mothers is letting a man push ahead of them every day, they all bloody deserve to wait.

Tell the teacher?? These are GROWN WOMEN. They don't need to mutter, make passive aggressive comments, send emails, or whine to the school.

They need to tell the dad that there is a queue and he has to wait in it.

Really, it's the teachers job to say. " we have a queue" but if you want to take him down you are in no way unreasonable. Twat.

Kill him.