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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
givemepiece · 15/12/2021 23:11

I would have a quick word with the teacher at morning drop off to make sure he doesn't have a legitimate reason. Then pick up time it's game on.

AdobeWanKenobi · 15/12/2021 23:22

Someine did this to me in Tesco the other week, i looked over to dh and shouted "DH! MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK! IT WORKS!"
Bloke looked at me sheepishly and wandered off to the back of the queue at the next till.

GroggyLegs · 15/12/2021 23:32

Omg @StarryNightSky26 - swimming showers give me the RAGE!

There's a family with 3 small kids who take up a shower each (my 2 share) then proceed to dance about not washing while 3 (3!!!) parents/grandparents fanny around with giant shampoo bottles, while other tiny kids shiver.

I try to calm myself by accepting there must be a hidden disability somewhere. Nobody would be that selfish.

OhGiveUp · 15/12/2021 23:38

Next time he walks past you, stick your foot out and trip him up.
Face planting the ground should bring his ego down a couple of notches.

user1471519931 · 15/12/2021 23:51

Wish I could be there to see you handle him OP! Rooting for you!

WhatTimeIsItMrGinola · 15/12/2021 23:54

Am more annoyed at the teacher tbh! They must SEE what he has done by the fact he isnt in the ruddy queue, but they not only give him the kid - they have BANTS and make you all wait even longer

THAT is giving me more of the rage Angry

NowEvenBetter · 16/12/2021 00:40

Definitely don’t use ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’. They’re not applicable.

Fossie · 16/12/2021 00:43

@Flowerflumps

Probably would go a different route to most. I wouldn't point out the queue because like you said he would probably have some comment back as to why he is special. I would make a big deal of following suit.

"Oh do we not queue anymore?" And following him right to the front and wait for the response of teacher/ everyone else. Then explain in my naivety that because he does it I thought the school must have stopped it

This
fourminutestosavetheworld · 16/12/2021 06:10

@WhatTimeIsItMrGinola

Am more annoyed at the teacher tbh! They must SEE what he has done by the fact he isnt in the ruddy queue, but they not only give him the kid - they have BANTS and make you all wait even longer

THAT is giving me more of the rage Angry

Surely the teacher just opens the door and there he is? She doesn't know if he was the first to arrive or not.
Needdoughnuts · 16/12/2021 06:18

If CF's child has needs that necessitate being let out first then he would make sure he was there early! He's just a dick and I would love to see if he did the same if there were men in the queue. Could you enlist a couple of decoy husbands?

CheshireDing · 16/12/2021 06:31

I don’t understand why it’s not done on what child is first, that’s how all the classes exit at our school, then he would just have to wait until his kid had their shit together

RantyAunty · 16/12/2021 06:46

I'd be tempted to shout. Grin

Oi Grandpa, yeah you gramps. The queue's back there.

FINISH HIM!

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/12/2021 06:56

The only sort of excuse, which works to be first is if you have another child to collect in a different school, which sometimes does happen.

I hope you’re going to speak to the teacher. Or the cf misogynist.

dotsandco · 16/12/2021 06:59

This has got me really wound up on your behalf OP 🤣 I bloody HATE arrogant twatty men...and queue jumpers...so this is a Double Whammy of hate-ness!

As a teacher myself I would not stand for this...he'd be told in no uncertain terms to get the fuck to the back of the queue!!

I'm actually astonished that the wet teacher in this scenario hasn't fucked him right off!! Get her/him told too OP!!! I'll come and back you 💪

BlancheB · 16/12/2021 07:10

@PuntasticUsername

Fuck the cunt up. Stale lemon drizzle cake to the back of the head should do it.
GrinGrinGrin

Brilliant!

Good luck OP, hope SID (super important dad) learns some manners!

Unmerited · 16/12/2021 07:16

Swift swivel of a micro scooter as he gets level with you. Those things are vicious. If he can’t see you, then you can’t see him.

Unmerited · 16/12/2021 07:17

Coupled with ‘oh I wasn’t expecting anyone to be passing in a queue?’

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 16/12/2021 07:17

@AdobeWanKenobi

Someine did this to me in Tesco the other week, i looked over to dh and shouted "DH! MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK! IT WORKS!" Bloke looked at me sheepishly and wandered off to the back of the queue at the next till.
🤣🤣 I need to remember this one! Love it!
Wotsitsits · 16/12/2021 07:20

Has anyone suggested OP also walk to the front of the queue?

It's a scrum at our school, plenty of parents walk to the front

RhubarbFairy · 16/12/2021 07:26

I think this might be the most British thread I've read in a while. The rage at a queue jumper by all.

Including me. Take that mofo down.

DropYourSword · 16/12/2021 07:46

@ivykaty44

in 1973 we were waiting in a queue of cars to enter the former Yugoslavia. The queue was very long to cross the boarder, but we were getting near the front. A large black mercury sailed passed on the other side, right to the front of the queue.

the guard stepped forward with what looked like an AKA47, used the weapon to motion "back "back"

the driver ended up reversing all the way back out of sight - I take it to the very back of the queue

possibly this would be overkill for the dad at school & you might not have an AKA47

“Possibly” Grin
ittakes2 · 16/12/2021 07:54

I can't see why you would want to bring stress into your life.
Ask the school to email - and then hopefully other parents will feel empowered to say something.
The teacher would not know its happening if he is walking up and pushing in before she gets there.
And if you ever do say something - prep to have back up first - speak to other parents who when you say something will chime in with support. If he challenges you but everyone else stays quiet it could go horribly wrong and not work anyway.

backtolifebacktoreality · 16/12/2021 08:43

@LittleMG

Take. Him. Down.

Definitely this.

Who does he think he is?

backtolifebacktoreality · 16/12/2021 08:51

The other parents will LOVE you for saying something!

backtolifebacktoreality · 16/12/2021 08:52

Or wait until he's at the front of the queue and go and push in front of him and see what his response is!

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