To hate working with women

[HousethatChunkbuilt]

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.
HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs.
The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing?
It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit.
I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

what sector do you work in?

I don't recognise your description of women colleagues in the slightest.

Maybe its the sector you work in.

Maybe its you.

I remember my mum telling me before I started working that female dominated workplaces were quite bitchy. I went to work in an all male department on a regional newspaper- by crikey, that was the bitchiest place I’ve ever worked in!

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@VodselForDinner you can't tell me I'm not a feminist. I get to decide that.[/quote]
You can’t be misogynistic and declare yourself to be a feminist. It doesn’t work like that.

You have a biased view of women, voicing that was your decision.

It’s not a British thing. I worked with all women and one male manager in NY. It was the most awful atmosphere I have ever experienced. Two women in particular used to roar at each other across the office, manager would hide in his office and not come out til it was over. Another mostly female office was the same, terrible bitchiness. Back in Ireland, a main hospital I was in, again bloody terrible, mean bunch, I stuck it out for a year. All medical environments I don’t know if that has any significance.

People not wanting to sign a maternity card because so and so didn't cover her shift on reception in 2005.

😂😂

Late to the thread, so apologies if someone has already made this point.

But what annoys me about this sort of observation is, often you find people don't even notice or remark on the fact they work in an all male team, or any problems they have in an all male team, because working in a male dominated environment is seen as "normal".

Female dominated teams are seen as a novelty and as such any problems are not blamed on individual personalities but womankind as a whole.

For what it's worth I work in a majority female team, one of the best teams I've ever worked in but even if it wasn't I wouldn't pin that on them being women. People of both genders can be arseholes!

@Capricopia

What’s that saying? Something like ‘If one person you meet is an asshole, they’re probably an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole.’

Yup.

@PaperMonster

I remember my mum telling me before I started working that female dominated workplaces were quite bitchy. I went to work in an all male department on a regional newspaper- by crikey, that was the bitchiest place I’ve ever worked in!

Former regional journo here - had the same experience. Must be something about male reporters!

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@VodselForDinner you can't tell me I'm not a feminist. I get to decide that.[/quote]
When you're posting on Mumsnet, other Mumsnetters get to decide that too, based on what you've posted.

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@EightWheelGirl I'm guessing it's the demographic of Mumsnet too. Also it feels disloyal to write this as I am a feminist. I'm not lumping all women together, I could chat to one about their hobby, one about a play that's on at the local theatre, one about food but then if lots of women are together the topic of conversation often turns to... other people. All that intellect and creativity and that's all we can find to talk about? I'm guilty of being drawn into it and then I just feel awful after. It does seem to be a toxic environment but I've encountered it enough to wonder if it's a problem which happens more in female dominated workplaces. [/quote]
You literally started a thread to talk about other women and how awful they are.

I think it's an office based job thing rather than a female thing tbh.

I have found much more bitchiness in offices than other workplaces .

Haven't RTFY but my workplace is 90% female.

I love it. Of course there are issues and some less than nice people, but on the whole it is kind, friendly and supportive and often a bloody good laugh.

I suspect it's driven by ambition and perceived status rather than M/F dynamics. Competition and competitiveness is more a male trait than female, in my experience.

Yanbu. I hate working with women. I'd much rather a male boss than a female. My current boss is a female and she's a fucking nightmare. Lazy, bitchy, will only do what benefits her, micro manages every little detail. Husbands boss is even worse. How he puts up with it, I'll never know!

I’ve only ever had a hard time at work from other women. Bitchy, competitive, 2 faced bullies. Not every female, have also made some lifelong female friends through work.

But there’s a lot of teeny, smaller minded screwed up gals out there!

And if you are discussing everyday jobs, then usually fairly amicable but high status occupations can be animal.

Absolutely not my experience having worked in several exclusively/ predominantly female teams.

Had to put up with loads of bitchy egotistical divas in my line of work. All male.

But then again there's barely any females in my field. Typically brilliant, because they wouldn't last long otherwise. A few somewhat bonkers, but bonkerness is, again, not such a rare trait in my specialism (... tech and academia don't tend to attract neurotypical people...)
Usually nice, though (just very bitter they keep getting overlooked and less capable males get promoted over them)

I've noticed on MN that if you dare to say that women are bitchy there is a large number of MNers who don't like it at all and say there must be something wrong with the person who says it.

Well maybe there is. But that does not invalidate the experiences of women who suffer more at the hands of other women than they do men. I went to a very bitchy all girls' school and that colours your view of things. I would also say that my worst bosses have been female, although I currently have a nice female boss - in fact I have two as my immediate line manager and department boss are both female.

i think men are even more bitchy

Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace.

no, we dont have tears or meltdowns
occasional back stabbing though

@JuergenSchwarzwald you can't say "women are...." we make up 50% of the population, literally billions. Of course there a large number of not very nice women, just as there are very nice women, but the majority will be in between.

I do think it's fair to ask someone to self reflect if the majority of women they are meeting are "bitchy" because it's very likely something about the person or environment that's causing such a widespread phenomenon perception.

I work in a predominately female profession I have seen the bitchiness you’re referring to in particularly toxic work areas however I find the team really supportive and understanding. There are a couple of women who have their moments 😂

@HousethatChunkbuilt

I don't like men either. They constantly take credit for others work and expect others to come in and clean up the mess they make from bulldozing into situations. So I guess maybe I just don't like people.

Ha ha. I find men dominate meetings. You can guarantee that in any meeting men will do most of the talking.