To hate working with women

[HousethatChunkbuilt]

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.
HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs.
The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing?
It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit.
I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

@PurpleDaisies find any reference that I said anything of the sort. I'm just asking why it seems that sort of behaviour is more common in all female teams.

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@Capricopia not backpedaling, I've always said that individually women are amazing, it's the group dynamics.[/quote]
Surely ‘women protecting women’ is, by definition, a group dynamic?

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@Terfydactyl so why is my experience less valid than anyone else?[/quote]
I would say it’s more invalid because of numbers. If you hate working with women and also widely dislike working with men it suggests that the problem is that you struggle to work with others. Either that or every single other person is hard to work so the, which is just unlikely.

@HousethatChunkbuilt

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on. HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs. The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing? It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit. I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

It's actually incredibly common to feel how you do, OP. A lot of posters got the hump when I mentioned this before but study after study backs it up.

Have a look at the links on first page of the below thread. Confusingly, the OP makes a typo in the first post saying women prefer working for females when it's clear she actually means males.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3080265-Women-prefer-working-for-male-bosses

The happiest I ever was at work was in a predominantly female team. Everyone was super-competent, most of us liked each other and everything rolled.

What’s that saying? Something like ‘If one person you meet is an asshole, they’re probably an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole.’

I agree. Women's protectiveness towards other women is second to none. It's incredible to see

Eh? What like you go to a zoo or a show to watch women in the wild?

I wonder if it has an influence, for example if a whole cafe of staff go home and watch Love Island or other competitive reality show, do they bring that ethos into their everyday life?

Yes because only women watch reality TV and live their life by its ethos

Any more stereotypes created by MASS you want to throw in the mix OP?

This does not happen in my office. 90% women. But we are mostly over 50. Maybe that's why. We can't be arsed.

If you're younger and attractive then some women will try to bring you down. Not all, and I've worked with some wonderful supportive women, but the fact is there are some that will make your life hell.

I also said this and was met with much hostility on here (which actually proved my point).

I'm surprised having read the first page that most posters seem to disagree with OP. However, the surveys/studies consistently tell a different story. Im guessing it's the strong feminist presence on here.

@PurpleDaisies

This has happened in every single workplace.

What do those workplaces have in common?

The best reply I’ve read in 2021.

Isn’t it just people though? Most people are nice, some people are more difficult, some people have stuff going on/are unhappy, some people clash but still have to spend hours of the day together, some people feel threatened/challenged by another person. It’s just human nature. The times I’ve seen teams go wrong is often when they are mismanaged, stressed/approaching burnout or there’s a toxic individual/situation between a couple of people that others get drawn in to. At my work the furlough/key worker childcare situation unsettled a normally happy bunch. But we have a moan, forgive and move on. Like any other group of humans where problems crop up.

We ran the very successful business side of an investment magazine. Most of the men wanted to be editorial; now that was a snakepit.

I was in an all female team (or at least, all seniors were female) and it was great.

I have worked in predominantly female work places for virtually 4 decades and not had any of the expierences you've had OP.
I like working with females and have formed many genuine friendships that I still have to this day.
For all that to happen in every single place is well weird!

I agree with you OP.

I’m a nurse so work on a female environment and it can be awful at times. The bitching that goes on is unreal. Everyone acts all matey-matey on the ward, but then their quick to bitch about that same “mate” the minute their back is turned.

We have one me nurse and he’s the only one who you can trust to be decent.

@EightWheelGirl I'm guessing it's the demographic of Mumsnet too. Also it feels disloyal to write this as I am a feminist. I'm not lumping all women together, I could chat to one about their hobby, one about a play that's on at the local theatre, one about food but then if lots of women are together the topic of conversation often turns to... other people. All that intellect and creativity and that's all we can find to talk about? I'm guilty of being drawn into it and then I just feel awful after. It does seem to be a toxic environment but I've encountered it enough to wonder if it's a problem which happens more in female dominated workplaces.

I agree with you, OP. Much prefer a 50:50 split of men to women. Seems to balance out the bitchiness somewhat.

It was the same when I worked with predominantly men.

It seems to be generally environments where the jobs are quite dull and people might be doing them as a stopgap. I'm thinking of retail, catering, data entry, call centre jobs. Jobs that aren't really a 'calling'

This is about the only thing I agree with, Most of what you've posted resorts to lazy stereotypes and generalisations that I can't identify with at all

The calls are coming from inside the house!

I’m female and never acted like that!

Most places I’ve worked have been predominantly female and I’ve not had this issue.

Where I currently work it’s all females and one male and it’s honestly the nicest, most supportive workplace I’ve ever been in.

I have literally never worked in an environment like that, right now I'm in a very feminine environment and they are a fantastic bunch of supportive women. I can't think of a bitchy environment from my entry level days through to my senior leadership role now. Do you think it's the way you act in the work place? I'm always credited with being very diplomatic and supportive, perhaps if you have a more abrasive personality and subconsciously act out on your preconceptions it alters the way people are around you.

There's enough people who share my experience to know that I'm not alone in thinking this.
My mum generally has no interest in other peoples business and is staggered by the stuff that goes on in her workplace. People not wanting to sign a maternity card because so and so didn't cover her shift on reception in 2005. Stuff like that.
This may happen with men too. It's not been my experience (because some men generally aren't observant enough to notice who is being passive aggressive).

@PlasticPlantsDontDie

Where I work it’s the men who get all emotional, fight with each other and fall out. The women are solid.

I used to work in a mainly male environment.

I remember a Christmas party where man1 got in a near fight with another man2 over a long held grudge that man2 had done something ungentlemanly to a female friend of man1 (in the dim and distant past because by this time man2 had been married to a woman in the group I worked with for several years).

I had to sit and listen to a long explanation of why this was, in order to diffuse the situation . Thankfully I have forgotten the reasoning, if he ever actually told me in the end........

People not wanting to sign a maternity card because so and so didn't cover her shift on reception in 2005. Stuff like that.
This may happen with men too. It's not been my experience

In all male work environment I don't think there is much call to sign a maternity card