To hate working with women

[HousethatChunkbuilt]

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.
HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs.
The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing?
It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit.
I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

I know what you mean OP. I am f and in fintech so quite a male dominated profession. I've only worked with an all-female team once. I was pleased when the project got delivered, in my head I referred to their meetings as "gaslight central". Far prefer to work with guys - less hassle, less snide remarks, less bitchiness.

My team is virtually all women and have never experienced any of the behaviours you describe. Tears? Meltdowns? Refusals to come in?! Where on earth do you work?!

@HousethatChunkbuilt

Is there any other subject where women would be told that there experiences are not valid and that they're lying?

1. This literally happens to women all the time on countless different topics

1. It’s not what’s happening to you. You may well have only had horrendous experiences working with women. But that doesn’t mean women are harder to work with than men. It just means you’re either fantastically unlucky or, just possibly, your attitude that women are bitchy, catty, competitive and hard to work with isn’t the best foundation for you having good working relationships with women.

I have experienced bitchiness from both men and women but I have to admit the women I’ve observed take it to another level. Now I admit I don’t get the more subtle social cues but I’m an avid people Watcher and as long as I’m not involved or having to think about my response I’m pretty astute about what’s going on and I see such damage done by people being two faced and snide with each other. Being someone who doesn’t get involved in bitching I find a lot of people don’t recognise they’re doing it. Maybe it’s a social bonding thing?

I do have to wonder if those who say they’ve never witnessed it are actually the ones at the centre of it all… like with bullying and popularity in high school… they’re so involved they don’t recognise the characterisation. I’ve worked in industries from entry level service and retail to academia and I’ve never encountered a workplace where there wasn’t at least one gossip making it difficult for others.

Extremely weird.

No. I would rather work with women, after a lifetime of working with both.

But I just don't recognise your workplace as like anywhere I've worked with either sex. Is it soft play? Are your colleagues fellow toddlers in the ball pit? That can be brutal.

I don't like men either. They constantly take credit for others work and expect others to come in and clean up the mess they make from bulldozing into situations. So I guess maybe I just don't like people.

I think women’s relationships tend to be more intensive and intimate even with those we are less close with

This can lead to feelings running high but then there is the amazing support. At work we naturally go into a protective mode around younger female colleagues I find this really moving for some reason

I like mixed teams

@Durbeyfield

This post is misonygist OP. Change your use of the word ‘women’ for ‘people of colour’ (for example) and you’d be making a racist statement. Same for misogyny.

Oh the irony.

I've only been in one job where a woman in the team was an issue. She was my boss and a bully.

All the rest of the time by female colleagues and bosses have been great. I wonder if you are the common demoninator for bad behaviour? Are you a disruptive presence?

@HousethatChunkbuilt

I don't like men either. They constantly take credit for others work and expect others to come in and clean up the mess they make from bulldozing into situations. So I guess maybe I just don't like people.

😂

So you don’t hate working with women, you don’t like working with other people. That might have been relevant in the op.

@kanaloa - what is a 'melt'? No idea. Just speak from my experiences, dear!

@Twoweekcruise

The primary school gate mafia? Now that’s a whole different bunch of women!
I feel your pain😂😂😂

On the work front, I worked in a mixed office for a few years, all lovely people, no issues with anyone except 1 woman who was a lot more senior to me, she was a petty, vindictive, rude and just outright vile to everyone. I wouldn't say we bitched about her,more consoled each other if 1 of us had fallen foul of one of her insults.
It wasn't agreeable to her for me to have had more than one boyfriend in my 17 years she told me in front of everyone including the big bosses that "she couldn't decide if I was just a slag or a tart with a heart"😳🤬 mortified doesn't come close to it.
For the last 15 years I've been the only woman working with a team of 10 men and I can say with out a doubt that men are beyond bitchy, they will take it to another level of cruelty. They almost relish seeing someone else in a bad spot.
I seem to be left alone out of some kind of chivalry?! 🤷‍♀️ I can't quite decide.

[quote AutumnAlmanack]@kanaloa - what is a 'melt'? No idea. Just speak from my experiences, dear![/quote]
Please don’t call me dear, you’re being patronising and rude and I dislike that type of patronising faux affection.

A melt is a head melt. Someone who melts your head with their stupid comments.

@OhWhyNot I agree. Women's protectiveness towards other women is second to none. It's incredible to see.

Hmmm I work with mostly Men at the moment in a predominantly female caring role. I find that my colleagues are dismissive of emotions unless they are having them. They often perceive my reactions as more ‘hysterical’ or ‘angsty’ whilst they are justifiable outraged. And the egos omg the fucking egos. They will sabotage patient care rather then get over their fucking egos.

I do not recognise the description you've given of female dominated workplaces from reality, but I do recognise it from books, films etc

This!

Wow, all my colleagues are women bar one and they are amazing! The guy is the one who's distracted from the project...

Some people are great to work with and others are a nightmare. Doesn't matter what bits they have IME.

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@OhWhyNot I agree. Women's protectiveness towards other women is second to none. It's incredible to see. [/quote]
Some Olympic level back-pedalling here

@PoshPyjamas I wonder if it has an influence, for example if a whole cafe of staff go home and watch Love Island or other competitive reality show, do they bring that ethos into their everyday life?

@HousethatChunkbuilt

Is there any other subject where women would be told that there experiences are not valid and that they're lying?

Everything women do, everything women say and everything that happens to women. Dont you read the news?

@Capricopia not backpedaling, I've always said that individually women are amazing, it's the group dynamics.

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@Capricopia not backpedaling, I've always said that individually women are amazing, it's the group dynamics.[/quote]
Which you decided was due to everyone being female. You seem to think us women need a big, strong man to come in and manage us because we will just bitch at each other without a few penises to sort us out.

@Terfydactyl so why is my experience less valid than anyone else?

Where I work it’s the men who get all emotional, fight with each other and fall out. The women are solid.