To ask at what age were your children the most expensive?

[Invisiblewoman1]

I am trying to plan and prepare for being a single parent. I think the under 5 (childcare) and then teenage years are prob most expensive. Am I totally wrong?!

@Benjispruce5 no one is saying you should regret it, but that choice came at a cost, and one bigger than the cost of a child at uni I would bet.

Maybe, but I didn’t do it for financial reasons so it’s immaterial.

@Benjispruce5 it matters on a thread about the financial cost of children though!!

Yes of course that’s why I said the teen/uni years were most expensive for me.

I was curious so looked up MSE’s parental contribution calculator for university and I was surprised that it was higher than I was expecting (5k a year out of London). Still much cheaper than nursery and part time v full time income loss but not an insignificant cost.

My old halls (catered) are around £8.5k for the year. I’m sure they were no more than £4k when I was at uni. I can see now why those only eligible for the minimum loan would need a chunky parental contribution.

But.. still much cheaper than nursery and said student can get a job in a way that a 2 year old obviously can’t.

But we've just explained that's not technically true...but I'll leave it there or we'll be here all night! And the OP isn't a SAHM so it won't be true for her.

The irony for me, as I had my kids quite young, is I'm on track to finish paying my student loans the year my eldest starts (if he goes) to uni, currently paying £300 so as depressing as going from one uni cost to another at least it'll soften the blow being used to £300 of it coming out a month 😂😂

Well it's a toss up between university and preschool childcare costs, particularly if you have 2 kids 2 years apart.

I'd advise that you negotiate with your ex though if possible - any agreement should provide that they continue to pay maintenance until your child leaves full time education. My student children have the biggest loans possible, work and have gone to cheaper northerrn universities, and it's still really expensive.

I see what you’re saying but I wasn’t a high earner so no point earning to pay a nursery.

Martin Lewis has the difference between the maximim loan and the minimum loan (if parents on a high income) for student maintenance. The largest difference (if your children study in London and you live elsewhere) is less than £6K per year, for many families the cost will be much less, you need to have ahousehold income of just under £70K to pay that. That is less than half the UK average cost for FT childcare in a nursery (£13,676pa).

@Benjispruce5

It’s the best thing I ever did for my DC and me and I’ll never regret it *@TheNamelessGirl*.

Not saying it wasn't! This thread was about costs.

[quote U8976532]@Benjispruce5 it matters on a thread about the financial cost of children though!![/quote]
Exactly. 😂

@Bunnycat101

I was curious so looked up MSE’s parental contribution calculator for university and I was surprised that it was higher than I was expecting (5k a year out of London). Still much cheaper than nursery and part time v full time income loss but not an insignificant cost.

My old halls (catered) are around £8.5k for the year. I’m sure they were no more than £4k when I was at uni. I can see now why those only eligible for the minimum loan would need a chunky parental contribution.

But.. still much cheaper than nursery and said student can get a job in a way that a 2 year old obviously can’t.

Exactly. Yes, it's expensive. But nothing like childcare costs, not even close.

Ours still small but paid 2k per child in nursery fees. I really hope teens are not as expensive as that. Not sure that we could afford it really.

Teens definitely. 15- end of uni. School shoes cost ££ once their feet are bigger than a size 5 ime. Uni is very expensive too.
And I spent years paying for childcare but teen years worse!

I keep copying bits to quote, but there are too many.
So much of what people are quoting are "nice things, that are optional, or 'extras' you can treat them to if you have the money.
They are not needed like childcare (or loss of salary) is. They are choices you can make if you can afford it at the time.

All mine have got themselves jobs in the 6th form and paid for their own driving lessons. They only bought themselves cars once they could afford to pay their own insurance. They have never had fancy phones, and have paid their contracts out of their pocket money or earnings once they got into 6th form.
University students do NOT need £100 pw to live on. University students can often choose cheaper accommodation (I know some people get allocated accommodation they don't want, but there are also an awful lot of people who say things like the "must have" an en-suite. Students can take a gap year and earn their living costs before they go. Even students who feel unable to work at all in term time can work in the holidays (and I know of Nurses who have managed to work and I've known of med students who have done small amounts of work in term time - tutoring commonly, but also other jobs). You can look at cost of living before you choose your university.
Yes, when you are having to buy school schools for a 13 year old with size 10 feet it is expensive, but it is never going to cost over £1K a month.

@Stnic2021

Ours still small but paid 2k per child in nursery fees. I really hope teens are not as expensive as that. Not sure that we could afford it really.

They won't be £2k per child on top of the normal costs you pay now excluding childcare. Anyone saying so is bonkers. Yes you could easily spend that on them but childcare is an essential cost. Essential costs to get through university even on the lowest Government provision are waaaay less than that, and anybody denying that is talking nonsense frankly.

Yes for some people who didn't work or used family for childcare the most expensive part of raising children for them may have been university. But for the majority who have to pay for childcare, university costs will be significant but nowhere near to that crippling amount. I am a lone parent and what I need to do is survive the next few years while they're little then we'll be ok. University would be a breeze compared to this! No dispensation made for being a lone parent, zero help whatsoever towards the costs. It is the worst system in the whole of Europe, especially for women.

@Benjispruce5

I see what you’re saying but I wasn’t a high earner so no point earning to pay a nursery.

This is true in the short time but taking time out often has a very significant impact on earning potential, career trajectory and pension. Not to say it’s not the right choice, it clearly was for you! But the financial implications stretch beyond nursery fees. I’m hoping our salaries etc will increase such that even though teenagers are costly we are able to mitigate that slightly (might be wishful thinking!).

To those of you saying preschool years are more expensive, I think it's a timing thing.

When you have little ones there's maybe 5 years of being totally skint and you're young and sleep deprived anyway so there's no chance of having much fun even if you did have extra money.

It's a lot longer when they're teenagers and young adults! If they go to uni you could be talking about nearly 10 years of supporting basically adults. You're older and you kind of expect to have a bit of money to yourself.

People say you can budget and get them second hand shoes and spend £50 on Christmas. 😂 What do you do if they want a £200 console? Say they can never have one even though all their friends do!?

Teen years easier in terms of rushing around though doing school/ nursery runs. That was hard work and I would never want to return to those years of clock watching and running from the tube to my car to the nursery then after school club!
But tonight I have to pick up my daughter at 10.45pm at the tube station as she finishes work at 10pm from her supermarket job and gets tube home and I never had to do that when she was 5!

For us it was teens, we didn't really use childcare till we got the free hours. God now they cost a bloody fortune though at 13 & 15. Although I guess a lot of the stuff teens want could be classed as non essential so probably could do it cheaper, childcare for under 11/12 year olds is pretty essential!

@WaltzForDebbie

To those of you saying preschool years are more expensive, I think it's a timing thing.

When you have little ones there's maybe 5 years of being totally skint and you're young and sleep deprived anyway so there's no chance of having much fun even if you did have extra money.

It's a lot longer when they're teenagers and young adults! If they go to uni you could be talking about nearly 10 years of supporting basically adults. You're older and you kind of expect to have a bit of money to yourself.

People say you can budget and get them second hand shoes and spend £50 on Christmas. 😂 What do you do if they want a £200 console? Say they can never have one even though all their friends do!?

Errrr... not everyone who has children is young and has no desire to have a life outside the home. And again, childcare costs?!?

I mean £200 for a console is presumably preferable to £2500 per month every month for childcare? 🤣

People say you can budget and get them second hand shoes and spend £50 on Christmas. 😂 What do you do if they want a £200 console? Say they can never have one even though all their friends do!?

Sorry to burst your bubble, but yes, plenty of parents have to say no as they have no choice, that's the reality for many parents. OP needs to know how she can provide for her children's NEEDS as a single parent not be guilt tripped by the unrealistic expectations of parents with different financial circumstances.

@PugInTheHouse

For us it was teens, we didn't really use childcare till we got the free hours. God now they cost a bloody fortune though at 13 & 15. Although I guess a lot of the stuff teens want could be classed as non essential so probably could do it cheaper, childcare for under 11/12 year olds is pretty essential!

Exactly. Some people are describing the costs of optional extras and some people are describing childcare costs which are as essential as paying the mortgage/ rent if you want to be able to raise your children. Particularly for single parents as the OP mentioned.