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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask at what age were your children the most expensive?

243 replies

Invisiblewoman1 · 13/12/2021 18:06

I am trying to plan and prepare for being a single parent. I think the under 5 (childcare) and then teenage years are prob most expensive. Am I totally wrong?!

OP posts:
sofakingcool · 13/12/2021 18:46

Probably young/mid teens, when they started wanting to go out with friends/have the latest gadgets/clothes yet didn't earn any money of their own yet.

I found the baby/toddler stage not too bad as I took DS1 to the nursery I worked at (huge discount thankfully) and was a SAHM with DS2 so minimal childcare.

VeganVampire · 13/12/2021 18:48

Age 14, a 16.2hh Irish Sports Horse and associated costs.

Roselilly36 · 13/12/2021 18:50

Baby stage, with two in nappies, then teens driving lessons, theory test, practical. Don’t under estimate how much that costs, not to mention car insurance & car for a 17 DS’.

time2tork · 13/12/2021 18:51

Off topic but I am in awe of how much you look after your teens!!

My mum stopped buying me clothes & generally being around when I was 14/15.

I had no idea what to do in life after GCSE's, needed money so going to college to continue education wasn't an option. Couldn't get a job anywhere so got a shitty apprenticeship £400 a month and had to pay rent and train fare out of that so didn't have money to get driving lessons or support myself properly..

Ended up leaving home & sofa surfing until I met my husband at 17, had two kids and got married. Then got a career, then got a divorce, then met the love of my life....

Honestly I read what you all do for your 17 year olds and think wow!! My mum wanted me out young..!!

I'm only 28 so this wasn't too long ago.

elliejjtiny · 13/12/2021 18:54

I've got 5 aged 15 and under and it's the teenager who has been the most expensive so far.

Nowayoutonlydown · 13/12/2021 18:58

I think each year we find DD more expensive!
Shes been in adult clothes for several years, and that seriously hurts the pocket- especially when they need jeans with a 34" leg

Not looking forward to when she starts driving or goes to uni. She's decided she wants to go to the university of Florida, down to mum to figure out the finances of that one I think... well atleast I have a few years to save for that!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 13/12/2021 19:00

12 and 15 year old sport mad children, each year gets more expensive than the previous year tbh.

FindingMeno · 13/12/2021 19:01

Yes, childcare years, and mid teens before they can get a weekend job.

LynetteScavo · 13/12/2021 19:03

After the initial buying prams car seats, the cost of a child seems to get more and more expensive every year until they graduate from university.

MeMumI · 13/12/2021 19:06

Obviously it varies person to person. We managed to juggle our work hours and parents helped, so our childcare costs were very limited. Add in cloth nappies and we didn't find preschool too horrific at all.

However, now they're teens, the costs are horrific. Monthly costs alone for car, car insurance, petrol, hobbies are easily double what we ever paid on childcare. But we live rurally, so a car is almost a necessity. And that's before you consider the mobile phone contracts, cost of clothes, shoes, going out, pocket money, buying textbooks, school trips, tutors (if you do that sort of thing) and it soon mounts up!

However, it's horses for courses... if you had full time nursery fees to find, but live in a city where your children can get themselves around without driving lessons, car etc... you'd probably find pre school more expensive.

Bagelsandbrie · 13/12/2021 19:10

18 and first year of university. You think you’ve budgeted for stuff, they’ve got their finance sorted, and then shit happens you didn’t expect to happen and suddenly you’re £££££ down.

justaweeone · 13/12/2021 19:10

It never ends😂

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/12/2021 19:13

@time2tork that’s awful 💐
Are you still in contact with her?

MasterBeth · 13/12/2021 19:15

@VeganVampire

Age 14, a 16.2hh Irish Sports Horse and associated costs.
Age 15, wanted astronaut training and their own space rocket....
Tequilamockinbird · 13/12/2021 19:18

Early 20s.

DD has just bought a house. We helped her with the deposit, and then of course helped her furnish it too. She had saved a lot herself but just needed a bit of extra help from us (which we were happy to give).

But yes, this is definitely the most expensive age.

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 13/12/2021 19:24

Nursery at it’s worst was £1,600 a month for 2 of them for 4 days a week - that was 10 years ago so I’m sure it’s way more than that now.

I hope that even when they’re at university I will contribute less than that.

tangyandsalty · 13/12/2021 19:24

Never ends...although when my DS was a teen he was constantly growing out of clothes so that might win the award for most expensive period. When his feet grew he would need school shoes, football boots, indoor P.E pumps and outdoor P.E trainers, along with any casual footwear. He also ate me out of house and home.

Kite22 · 13/12/2021 19:27

Childcare - that we had to pay.

As later teens, young adults we are far better off than when they were small, so we have been known to help them out with things that they would have survived without if we didn't have it but none of it cost as much as childcare.

4pmwinetimebebeh · 13/12/2021 19:27

I only have small children but life is expensive! I do appreciate teens cost more but hoping some career progression/me being able to work more hours will balance that out. We are running pennies together every month so hoping we aren’t this way forever 😭😭

hettie · 13/12/2021 19:28

Well it depends...most if the stuff for my tween/teen is optional (sports, guitar, clubs tech etc) clothes and shoes and feeding them is all more expensive and non optional. But....childcare wasnt really optional (well I could have jacked in my training but that would have cost the family finances ££'s in the long run....)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/12/2021 19:30

Pre schoolers: childcare
5-11: childcare and extra activities
11+: food, electronics, day trips and clothes, all more expensive than before. (Especially tall boys imo)

University- surely they can take loans?

StoneofDestiny · 13/12/2021 19:30

18 plus - driving lessons, university, first car, help kitting out accommodation etc
Babies - biggest expense was childcare - often felt I worked just to pay that. Apart from essentials like nappies, car seat, everything else could be bought inexpensively if necessary. But I'm often amazed how much people spend on babies.

Sunbeams09 · 13/12/2021 19:32

I only have a 2yo but I’m not looking forward to the teenage years! Once I turned 16 I was expected to get a part time job and my parents stopped paying for everything. I had less than £50 per month left over after driving lessons and had to buy my own phone, clothes etc and pay to get myself to and from my job! I’m hoping I can offer more support to my on DC at that age but clearly it’s going to cost 😁

ISeeTheLight · 13/12/2021 19:36

6 months to 3.5 years - private nursery fees of £1200 a month. Eye watering. No family nearby so no help with childcare. And it was still less than we both earned so it made no financial sense to stop working (+ we really couldn't afford for either of us not to work).

Everything else is optional. Deposits, expensive hobbies, university (they can get a loan and a part time job), etc. All optional.
Baby items can be bought second hand for very little. Same with clothes. School uniform- if you're struggling most schools can help with free or cheap 2nd hand uniform.

jenkel · 13/12/2021 19:36

Older teenagers by far, you can refuse but lots of requests, school trips, clothes, driving lessons, insurance and that’s even before you get into university, they can work but generally on minimum wage so doesn’t go far.

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