To ask at what age were your children the most expensive?

[Invisiblewoman1]

I am trying to plan and prepare for being a single parent. I think the under 5 (childcare) and then teenage years are prob most expensive. Am I totally wrong?!

Agree. Not to mention teens can get jobs and despite the fact that in MN land you’re supposed to bank roll all you’re children til they’re 30, you are actually allowed to make them pay their own way at university and get a student loan.

The student loans don't cover everything. Parents income is a big factor and not all students are able to get jobs.

Even if your student has a part time job to cover food etc you will be expected to top up their rent. It's the way the system works now. And the amount they get is based on your gross income, they don't take any commitments into account. It's probably only enough if they stay home and go to a local uni.

There is not one single year that is ever not expensive. Budget then times it by 5 at least.

Why? I have been budgeting since the day my kids were born, never has the cost been 5 times more than expected, it's pretty easy to predict clothing, food, you set birthday and Christmas budgets, childcare prices are readily available. Shoes don't have to be brand name if feet are growing that fast, they don't even HAVE to be brand new.

A lot of what people are discussing here is wanting to meet teenage wants rather than needs. There's a big difference, you're putting a lot of pressure and expectations on a single parent.

School ski trip? 🤣 Since when is that a thing?

My DCs school ski trip was £800. That's less than one months childcare for one preschooler. My most expensive year of childcare I spent £20K on childcare for 3DC. I'd need to have all three as undergraduates at Uni at the same time giving them £222 a week during term time for them to cost as much at Uni.

Does make me laugh a bit. My parents had nothing to give me at 17 so I got weekend job and saved for lessons, then a car and anything else i needed

No way teens are more expensive than childcare for under 3s

@FormerlySpeckledyHen

2 at university at the same time.

But as @PainAuChocowhat said nursery fees can be £1700 per month per child every single month. Does a child at university really need more than that to get by? Even if they get no maintenance loan at all that seems an extreme amount to need to contribute for them to live in halls/ a shared house. Even if you factor in driving lessons/ a car.

Was sahm so no nursery fees.

What was your income before children? And more importantly what are your male peers from that job now earning? That's how much your children cost each year.

@Dogsaresomucheasier

Late teens/ young adult, but I was a SAHM with no childcare cost when mine were preschoolers, I appreciate that could be worse.

The one at uni currently costs me about £350 a month to supplement her loan during term time. The sixth former costs me £60 per month on bus travel and also needs feeding, clothing, lifts, train fares to open days/running around the country, and I’ve just paid a scary deposit for an Easter revision course to help make sure she meets an offer. She’s also sent up my car insurance as a learner.

This sounds like a dream compared to young children who need childcare!!

Big teens til they finish university is definitely the most expensive.

6th form years with new suits required that they grew out of 3 times in 2 years, plus driving lessons etc, followed by university years and then one got married a within a year of leaving uni!

Not everyone paid for childcare so teens is most expensive for me. Mine went to playgroup at 2yrs 9 m and then nursery at 3 as I was at home.

I'm finding it hard to believe anyone who has experienced children in full time childcare could ever claim teens to be more expensive

I agree

Nursery age definitely. Closely followed by primary (after school club, breakfast club and eye-watering ly expensive holiday clubs. The teenage years are a breeze compared to all that.

Not worth working to pay all that out! Glad I was a sahm for a few years.

@RaPumPumPumPum

I'm finding it hard to believe anyone who has experienced children in full time childcare could ever claim teens to be more expensive.

Agree. Not to mention teens can get jobs and despite the fact that in MN land you’re supposed to bank roll all you’re children til they’re 30, you are actually allowed to make them pay their own way at university and get a student loan.

While I agree with the point you quoted, some children aren't eligible for student maintenance loans, only loans for tuition fees. Despite having a headline decent income as a lone parent it will be hard to help mine with enough. However, nowhere near as hard as when they were both at nursery.

@Benjispruce5 but for many families (I don't know yours obviously) being a SAHM is technically a huge "invisible" cost if the parent has given up work and thus income to stay home? SAHMs have more time and options to pick up work when kids are at school so I would still argue preschoolers are the most dependent age group and as such most expensive for most families. If families have genuinely free childcare like family help or the parent never had any intention to work then no I suppose it won't be the most expensive time, but it doesn't sound like that's the OP's situation.

Maintenance loans don’t cover student accommodation, parents have to pay the difference plus second and third year rent deposits that you may or may not get back, plus food etc

@JaninaDuszejko

School ski trip? 🤣 Since when is that a thing?

My DCs school ski trip was £800. That's less than one months childcare for one preschooler. My most expensive year of childcare I spent £20K on childcare for 3DC. I'd need to have all three as undergraduates at Uni at the same time giving them £222 a week during term time for them to cost as much at Uni.

Totally agree, I am paying over £25k from my net salary as a lone parent for childcare per year.

I was just surprised that schools do ski trips now!

@Benjispruce5

Not worth working to pay all that out! Glad I was a sahm for a few years.

That has a huge cost as well. I bet you'd cry if you calculated it properly.

I think from 17 and the uni years, which is where we are now.

Driving lessons, car, insurance, servicing, RAC/AA, phones, gym memberships, uni fees plus field trips. All adds up to a lot.

Sounds about right. DD is 13 she is at an age where she doesn't cost much, she will be having braces fitted next year, that'll cost thousands.

Lockdown with teenagers was hell. They're lovely boys, but they NEVER. STOP. EATING.

@Benjispruce5

Not worth working to pay all that out! Glad I was a sahm for a few years.

I mean, I pay eye-watering amounts for childcare from my salary. However the way we would live and the amount I would now earn and the amount I would have to live on if I can retire one day would be orders of magnitude different if I'd given up my job. Some of us are single mothers or lone parents. The consequences and the cost (not just financial) of giving up my financial independence - when I think how my children would live now if I had - are unconscionable to me.

@JinglingHellsBells

University. More than one DC there at the same time, subsidising their rent and living costs.

This. 18 to 21 by far the most expensive especially with 2 at uni

It’s the best thing I ever did for my DC and me and I’ll never regret it @TheNamelessGirl.