To say that the expression 'no one ever looked back and wishes they'd worked more' is not true?

[Loosemoosegoose]

This is something you read on Mumsnet a lot. I can't help but think it's not often true. When taken literally, perhaps, but it tends to be used in the context of finding a fulfilling career versus prioritising family. I have been blessed with both a wonderful DD and a very fulfilling career and honestly, I need both in my life. I subscribe very much to the idea that there is absolutely no reason a woman can't have it all, she just can't necessarily always have it all at exactly the same time and there are times when taking time to focus on family or career is what is needed but generally, there are also times when you can give both all you've got and balance the two beautifully.
Of course there are some who do not want one or the other (or either) but I feel that a woman's career can often be dismissed by phrases like this because it minimises the value many people do place on their life's work. I want to be able to look back on my life and feel that I did give my career my all because I work in a field I am incredibly passionate about and if I didn't do all I could to continue in this profession and do my best in it, I know that I would look back and feel regret.

Interested in others views. Do you think it is possible to place as much value on your career as you place on being a parent and still be a good and present parent or do you think it is something you look back on and realise you sacrificed one for the other no matter how you try to balance it?

I do think, as you get older, priorities often change. I think you start to value being able to ‘live in the moment’ more. Also you can become quite cynical about things that you once may have defined yourself by. People values definitely change with the passing of time. I know mine have!

@pilar3

But is that not what I’m saying Alexa? People have different motivations and perspectives and this is obvious. We can only speak for ourselves.

Precisely. We can only speak for ourselves, hence any statement that claims to apply across the board (no one ever....) is inevitably untrue. Which was the whole point of the OP in the first place.

She is not arguing that everyone should feel the same. Quite the contrary.

@pilar3

I do think, as you get older, priorities often change. I think you start to value being able to ‘live in the moment’ more. Also you can become quite cynical about things that you once may have defined yourself by. People values definitely change with the passing of time. I know mine have!

Yes, I think that's true that priorities change. For example, my mum was OK with being a sahm when we were younger. It is really as she has aged that she has increasingly felt that this resulted in an emptiness and lack of purpose that she now deeply regrets. In her case, I guess she moved away from that sense of just living in the moment to reflect more broadly on what she had done with her life and how she had used her talents, and sadly, she wasn't happy with what she had achieved. As you say, we're all different.

Personally, I think the best way to avoid regrets in the future is to achieve as much balance as possible across all of the different areas of my life. I can only hope that I'll be happy with this approach in the years to come, but I guess none of us ever know until we get there!

I totally agree OP - I put an enormous amount of effort and time into my work. I feel fulfilled by it. I will look back and think I did myself justice. I also put a huge amount of time and effort into my DC. Admittedly there is little time left after that but I don't regret that at all.