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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 12/12/2021 16:18

Exactly limitedperiodonly. I favour the Parisian way. All this car worship is so unappealing,

netto · 12/12/2021 16:19

@cheesefiend36
Sadly there are many twats about, especially in car parks.
The people on here who think you were unreasonable demonstrate how wide spread twatism has become!

Hankunamatata · 12/12/2021 16:22

Yabu putting car door on his, inevitably it would mark paintwork.

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 16:22

[quote JetRocket]@User135792468

Please don’t give advice.
As someone who has worked extensively in car insurance and claims I can assure you it’s never ok, or legal, to put your babies/toddlers unrestrained in a vehicle and ‘just reverse a bit’.

It’s not legal. Stop giving advice.[/quote]
It's legal to have children in cars without car seats in an emergency.

OP couldn't get her children in the carseats so I'm sure (legally speaking) she would be fine to move the car a few metres to get them restrained safely.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 12/12/2021 16:23

The toddler, reverse seat, is the toddler laid back like an astronaut.Grin

Mine used to love clambering in, on occasion they'd be asleep. They were told to grasp the restraints and get them ready for daddy.
People make a right fuss over placing their kids in the seats. Anybody would think were lifting something heavy. Just wang them in. Stop bloody faffing.

VaccineSticker · 12/12/2021 16:25

YABU!

I park the furtherest away from cars so I don’t scratch other cars, so I can have the car door wide open whilst I sort out the children, and so that avoid people like you resting their food on mine.
Ridiculous.

-I get the need for bigger car park spaces for people for small children and that’s something that needs to be addressed across the country.

  • I don’t get people buying big massive cars that don’t fit anywhere.
  • some people are rubbish at parking - Fact
VaccineSticker · 12/12/2021 16:26

Door not food**

Icytundra · 12/12/2021 16:26

YANBU! not even a little bit. We literally always try parking in end bays so that we can leave ourselves more space on one side as we have 2 little ones.
There's no way I'd not do what you did.....

I've also rested my door on another multiple times. It doesn't leave a mark

And if you're the person that would rather someone either leave a cold unrestrained in a car rather than risk some minute damage to a car then you need to re-evaluate your priorities!

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 16:27

@User135792468

Grin THE LAW is not my opinion.
My opinion is that you should stop giving illegal advice about endangering children’s lives. If that makes me entitled then I’m very glad to be so Smile

Another very simple option is to put the children in the car and then lean (albeit uncomfortably) in the middle of 2 seats to strap in and pull it tight

Grin I’m gonna go ahead and guess you’ve never actually used two rear facing isofix car seats in a car? Because as a slim size 8/10 woman I can tell you now I can’t fit between mine, not even close, so no ‘leaning between’ is not actually an option.

I am giggling at the idea of me trying to not only force myself into the 15cm gap between the seats but also restrain and take the full weight of my 15kg toddler whilst he screams and kicks. Do you think the p* who parked next to me will move his car for the ambulance I’m gonna need? Hmm

Please don’t gaslight the OP into feeling like they’re the problem for rejecting all the other options they have. You have in fact presented neither a legal nor realistic option yet.

It appears you value a potential scrape to a paint job over the safety of children.

GrabbyAbbie · 12/12/2021 16:28

As long as the car is in the lines then technically it is parked correctly ... there have been times where I have parked too close to another car/ or another car to close to me and I just climb in over the other side or move my car I would not potentially cause damage to another car.. it could make you liable for damage that you didn't cause as any marks in that area of the car he could Attribute to you which isn't on but does happen.

Theremoresefulday · 12/12/2021 16:29

It’s perfectly legal in an emergency not to use a car seat @JetRocket

MargotMoon · 12/12/2021 16:30

YANBU, I would have done the same thing. Not sure how you are supposed to safely leave two little kids standing on the pavement while you reverse out enough to get them in the car. By the time you've fine that they could have run off and been hit by another car.

If he was that bothered about his precious paintwork he should have offered to move his car or left you ample space. Being a soft play car park he could have worked out himself that people would be using car seats and to leave room

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/12/2021 16:31

they should make spaces wider in any case, why so crazy narrow when cars get wider all the time ?

5thnonblonde · 12/12/2021 16:33

Emergency: a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action.

I’m not sure someone parking next to you in a car park is ‘unexpected’ or ‘serious’. It doesn’t require immediate action either- I’m sure a police officer observing OP popping 2 kids in the front would argue OP should have got softplay to call the driver out to move his car or you know, open the doors and clip them in as she had done

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 16:35

@Theremoresefulday

Grin

Fire
Flood
Serious injury
Train heading toward you and your stuck on the tracks

… not resting your door against the car next to you that’s parked too close Hmm

Yup. Proper emergency that. Good luck explaining that to social services or the police Confused

User135792468 · 12/12/2021 16:37

@JetRocket Oh my, someone is very bored on a Sunday afternoon. Many people have suggested similar to what I have done.

I currently use 2 rear facing isofix car seats - mine do swivel though. It’s pretty simple to lean through and strap and pull and then get back out and swivel them back round. I can assure you I’m no size 8! I don’t recall the Op saying that her child was having a full blown tantrum, maybe I missed that? Whilst my dc have their moments, it’s not normal for them to kick and scream every time I try and get them in the car.

Gaslighting is not when you suggest alternatives. Please ask Santa for a dictionary for Christmas.

You seem a bit over invested in this thread so I’m going to leave you here. Please continue to encourage twatty, unnecessary behaviour to make you feel like you’re not alone in your rude and entitled world Wink

RodJaneFreddy · 12/12/2021 16:40

If you’d reversed a bit you’d have saved a lot of bother fir yourself. You’re not responsible for the actions of others not can you assume they should do something, take the higher ground and get on with your life

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 12/12/2021 16:42

[quote JetRocket]@User135792468

Grin THE LAW is not my opinion.
My opinion is that you should stop giving illegal advice about endangering children’s lives. If that makes me entitled then I’m very glad to be so Smile

Another very simple option is to put the children in the car and then lean (albeit uncomfortably) in the middle of 2 seats to strap in and pull it tight

Grin I’m gonna go ahead and guess you’ve never actually used two rear facing isofix car seats in a car? Because as a slim size 8/10 woman I can tell you now I can’t fit between mine, not even close, so no ‘leaning between’ is not actually an option.

I am giggling at the idea of me trying to not only force myself into the 15cm gap between the seats but also restrain and take the full weight of my 15kg toddler whilst he screams and kicks. Do you think the p* who parked next to me will move his car for the ambulance I’m gonna need? Hmm

Please don’t gaslight the OP into feeling like they’re the problem for rejecting all the other options they have. You have in fact presented neither a legal nor realistic option yet.

It appears you value a potential scrape to a paint job over the safety of children.[/quote]
I call nonsense on the leaning between the 2 seats.
Absolute rubbish. Of course, you can do it. We did it all the time.

People expect to be able to open their car doors fully to spend 99hrs faffing about with a seat.

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 16:43

@5thnonblonde

Emergency: a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action.

I’m not sure someone parking next to you in a car park is ‘unexpected’ or ‘serious’. It doesn’t require immediate action either- I’m sure a police officer observing OP popping 2 kids in the front would argue OP should have got softplay to call the driver out to move his car or you know, open the doors and clip them in as she had done

I suspect a police officer has better things to do than worry about a single mum reversing her car a metre or two so she can strap her children in safely, tbh.
limitedperiodonly · 12/12/2021 16:44

@BringMeTea a friend in Florence said it is considered very rude to apply your handbrake when parked.

PinkWednesdays · 12/12/2021 16:46

Gaslighting is not when you suggest alternatives. Please ask Santa for a dictionary for Christmas

I’ve not RTFT at all but thank you for this! The amount of people on here who claim gaslighting when it’s simply a difference of opinion drives me nuts!

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 16:48

@VaccineSticker

YABU!

I park the furtherest away from cars so I don’t scratch other cars, so I can have the car door wide open whilst I sort out the children, and so that avoid people like you resting their food on mine.
Ridiculous.

-I get the need for bigger car park spaces for people for small children and that’s something that needs to be addressed across the country.

  • I don’t get people buying big massive cars that don’t fit anywhere.
  • some people are rubbish at parking - Fact
I did park far away from others. I was there before 10am and was one of the first. But then I can't criticise him for taking that parking spot if it was the only one left, otherwise he'd have to park on the street. But the issue was caused by him not parking properly in the bay. He left himself plenty of room to swing his big man thighs out though.
OP posts:
Dobbysgotthesocks · 12/12/2021 16:49

@Hrpuffnstuff1 did you miss the part where the op said they are REAR FACING CAR SEATS??? You cannot lean through from the front to do the straps up.
I call 🐮 💩 on you being able to do so!

fakereview · 12/12/2021 16:50

@Hankunamatata

Yabu putting car door on his, inevitably it would mark paintwork.
Not if done gently.
fakereview · 12/12/2021 16:52

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

they should make spaces wider in any case, why so crazy narrow when cars get wider all the time ?
It's not the spaces that are too small, it's the cars that are too big, but that particular debate has been done to death on here.