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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
5thnonblonde · 12/12/2021 15:55

Waiting for someone to suggest OP lets her toddler pull the car forward while she holds the baby Grin

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 15:55

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

OP could have popped the children in the front or opened the other side and put them in the back unbelted for a few seconds. What do you think would have happened to them?

Jesus titty Christ.

Why do you think that's such an outrageous suggestion? lol.

Nothing would have happened in the 5-10 seconds it takes to reverse a metre or two!

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 15:56

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

I wouldn’t be risking my children’s safety by putting them unbuckled in a car and driving even 1cm before I gently opened my car door on someone who should have known better. Madness
What danger do you think there was? OP could have put the baby in the car seat on the opposite side, and popped her toddler on the front seat for a second.

Or am I missing something and OP owns a car that will spontaneously explode if a toddler is put on the front seat for a minute?

Dobbysgotthesocks · 12/12/2021 15:57

@Kitkat151

You should have asked him to move his car.....if you had ‘rested’ your door on my car I would let rip at you too
Then frankly your an idiot who needs to get their priorities in order! A child's safety is far more important than worrying about a scratch on a car door ffs!
Theremoresefulday · 12/12/2021 15:58

You should’ve put the kids on the car, moved, then stopped and buckled them in.

I’m disabled. I need to open my driver side door wide or I can’t get out. If I can’t get a disabled space, or a parent and child space, I park with my passenger side nearer to the line on that side to give me room to get out.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 15:58

I don’t even know the ages of the children but assuming they are under 3/4 it’s just so fucking dangerous. They can fall out of their seats/fall over/hurt themselves. Would be a great one to explain at hospital too - pretty sure this is a highly illegal thing to do and for excellent reason

User135792468 · 12/12/2021 16:00

I would also have been very irritated and said something to you for making contact with my car. I’m not sure exactly where you wanted him to park… normal spaces aren’t wide enough to comfortably open your door. Next time, pop your kids in the car, reverse back a few centimetres, get back out and strap them in. Unfortunately, the twat you mentioned in your title was you and most definitely not the other driver. Next time, don’t touch other people’s property. Leaning your car door could mark or scratch it.

limitedperiodonly · 12/12/2021 16:02

@CheeseFiend36. Phew! Lucky escape there.

Fomofo · 12/12/2021 16:03

Roadshiner and shade 17, you don't sound safe to drive with that kind of temper

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 16:03

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

I don’t even know the ages of the children but assuming they are under 3/4 it’s just so fucking dangerous. They can fall out of their seats/fall over/hurt themselves. Would be a great one to explain at hospital too - pretty sure this is a highly illegal thing to do and for excellent reason
So in less than thirty seconds and with the car moving at about 2mph, they're going to fall out and injure themselves to the point of needing a hospital visit? Hmm

Honestly, the hysteria on here is quite something lol.

Fomofo · 12/12/2021 16:04

User135 perhaps you should live in a less densely populated country

Fomofo · 12/12/2021 16:05

Children's safety takes precedence over a piece of metal every time

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 16:05

@User135792468

Please don’t give advice.
As someone who has worked extensively in car insurance and claims I can assure you it’s never ok, or legal, to put your babies/toddlers unrestrained in a vehicle and ‘just reverse a bit’.

It’s not legal. Stop giving advice.

EvilPea · 12/12/2021 16:07

@Just10moreminutesplease
@fakereview
Nope parked right over against the kerb on the drivers side so I had ample space the other side. Ridiculously tiny car that’s 20 years old. It was immaculate, due to low mileage and always parking away from shops and leaving big gaps like that.

I now have speckles all done the door where she’s buffed the paintwork away from getting in and out. I watched her do it, but decided it wasn’t worth the inevitable argument with someone who clearly thought it was ok to do that.

It’s not ok to damage someone else’s things.

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 16:07

Just to clarify

@User135792468

Resting your door on the car next to you - legal
Driving with unrestrained babies/ children - illegal

Your opinions on the subject don’t really matter I’m afraid xx

Theremoresefulday · 12/12/2021 16:08

You can travel without a car seat in an emergency. This was an emergency - the op couldn’t get the child in the seat otherwise.

Put child in seat unbelted. Drive 6 feet. Stop. Buckle child in.

5thnonblonde · 12/12/2021 16:08

My kids are totally fragged after soft play, car seats are a total battle. They certainly wouldn’t be demurely day in the front nice and quiet (ask what am I laying the baby in the footwell?!) I think I’d be more likely to scrape a car making that manoeuvre and OP would then have done other twat honking her (and shouting ‘why aren’t your kids clipped in) as she blocked the car park to get out and get them back in

User135792468 · 12/12/2021 16:10

@JetRocket Maybe you could advise Op then to not be a rude and entitled to other people parked next to her. Another very simple option is to put the children in the car and then lean (albeit uncomfortably) in the middle of 2 seats to strap in and pull it tight. Then, you can get always get back out to swing it round if needed. There are plenty of solutions. I’m not saying it’s not very annoying when you get back to your car and have barely any room but if the Op can’t think on her feet, then maybe she shouldn’t leave the house alone with her children.

User135792468 · 12/12/2021 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

whenwillthemadnessend · 12/12/2021 16:13

Yabu. Your the twat here. Reverse car then get toddler in or put something like a scarf or blanket between door and other car.

Hollywolly1 · 12/12/2021 16:13

Jeese an awful lot of irate people about,you really should have offered to buy him soft padding for his car doors,how unthoughtful of you op

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 16:13

@JetRocket

Thanks for speaking sense/ absolutely shocked by people who think it’s fine to reverse or drive at all with unrestrained children in the car

limitedperiodonly · 12/12/2021 16:13

People go crackers over their cars on here. I park using my bumpers not exactly in the literal meaning of the word but definitely as nudgers.

bethabean · 12/12/2021 16:15

Yabu

Misty999 · 12/12/2021 16:16

YANBU I always do this, what else are u supposed to do. Leave a toddler and a baby in the car park unattended whilst u park. It doesn't leave a mark on the other car ever.