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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
Blinkingbatshit · 12/12/2021 15:35

I think you were fine🤷🏼‍♀️…..he shouldn’t have parked so close!!

Fomofo · 12/12/2021 15:35

If you don't want your car 'touched', then park properly, jeez car owners are a precious bunch

Roadshiner · 12/12/2021 15:41

@Shade17
I’d go absolutely nuclear if I caught someone “resting” their car door on mine.

Me too.

fakereview · 12/12/2021 15:41

@EvilPea

Sorry. Yes you are. I had a car damaged when someone did that and the getting in and out made the car go up and down so wobbled the door up and down so put specked marks that didn’t polish out.

When my cars been close I either clamber in another way or drive the car out the space and then load up.

Just touching another car door does not cause a mark.

Anyway if you don't want your car door marked, don't park too close to someone else.

People are unbelievably precious about their cars. I don't know if it's because they are all on leases and have to be kept in an unreasonably perfect state, but when you use something, it gets knocks and bumps and the odd scratch, even if it's just from tree branches on a country lane. But if you do worry that much about keeping your car pristine, you don't park so close to someone else that they can't get their door open properly.

fakereview · 12/12/2021 15:41

[quote Roadshiner]@Shade17
I’d go absolutely nuclear if I caught someone “resting” their car door on mine.

Me too.[/quote]
Why?

TomorrowsPrincess · 12/12/2021 15:41

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Make sure you bang it on the way back. Hard.
Criminal damage? Yeah sure.... like that's not a dickhead move! Would you be willing to pay for the damage?? Some people spend a lot of time and money on the upkeep of their cars.
Gooseberrypies · 12/12/2021 15:42

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Resting your door on someone's car is a big no-no.Shock Why couldn't you use the other side?

I do agree sometimes people's parking isn't perfect, but damaging the other's car is not the answer.
When I had situations like this I'd open the door slightly, let the kids climb in, then get in and lean back and fasten everyone in.
Luckily they clamber in now and put their own seatbelts on.

Never hit someone's car.

OP has already said why she can’t just use the other side. How can a baby and young toddler just climb in? How can OP fasten rear facing car seats by leaning back? RTFT.
Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 15:44

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?

And where will her two small children be whilst she’s in the car? Standing alone in a fucking car park? Christ, I hope you don’t have children!

KarmaStar · 12/12/2021 15:44

50/50

AutumnLeaves21 · 12/12/2021 15:44

Nah. If his car had been damaged, that’s a consequence of his own actions. How bizarre of people to suggest you leave your toddler unattended in a car park while you pull out of a parking space. He was a dick and serves him right if his car was damaged.

Gooseberrypies · 12/12/2021 15:44

@yaldyy

I usually just let the child climb over from the other side and then reach back and do the seatbelt from the front.

Both were kinda unreasonable. Him for not parking centrally and you for not putting a hand between the door and his car so it's not touching.

Yeah, it’s sooo easy to find a spare hand to place between the 2 car doors whilst trying to hold a wriggling baby and fasten a rear facing car seat. Hmm That usually requires both hands.
Hollywolly1 · 12/12/2021 15:44

You should have thanked him and told him you will buy a car with sliding doors next time🤣🤣🤣

fabricfanatic · 12/12/2021 15:45

YANBU.

If people are that precious about their cars, they need to be more careful about how they park. It would be different if he'd been there first and you'd been the one to park too close to avoid the door touching his car, but as it was, nope. All on him, imo!

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 15:47

OP could have popped the children in the front or opened the other side and put them in the back unbelted for a few seconds. What do you think would have happened to them?

Jesus titty Christ.

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 12/12/2021 15:49

YABU. He was within the lines. You should’ve asked him to move if you couldn’t open your door. Not acceptable to “rest” it on his car as can still cause scratches.

Viviennemary · 12/12/2021 15:49

No you can't touch other cars. If he was within the lines then his car was parked correctly.

KloppsTeeth · 12/12/2021 15:49

YABU. Resting your car door gently is not acceptable. As the children inside the car move, so does the car and therefore your car door which could leave a scratch.
Having car seats and needing extra room is difficult, but you have not right to prop your car door open on someone else’s car.

MsMoody · 12/12/2021 15:50

I always make sure I am parked considerately and giving either side enough room to open their doors before I leave my car. If I haven’t I’ll correct my parking. Men don’t like to admit failure and would rather park right up next to you like a nob than go back out and in the space again 😂

Just10moreminutesplease · 12/12/2021 15:50

@EvilPea

Sorry. Yes you are. I had a car damaged when someone did that and the getting in and out made the car go up and down so wobbled the door up and down so put specked marks that didn’t polish out.

When my cars been close I either clamber in another way or drive the car out the space and then load up.

Had you also not bothered to park in the middle of the bay? If so, you deserved it. If not, the situation isn’t the same.

OP, in your position I would have politely asked him to move (and done exactly as you did if he refused).

I categorically wouldn’t have put my small child down in a car park while I reversed to give myself more room Hmm. And clambering over the middle seat wouldn’t have worked for me either.

If you park like a knob you can’t really complain if someone touches your car…

fabricfanatic · 12/12/2021 15:51

Another thought: If he was that bothered by the door touching his car, he could have asked you to wait a moment while he moved his car. Instead, he chose to just mutter under his breath.

The absolute most I'd have done differently in that situation is to try to wait until the occupants of the other car had walked off before trying to get in, and that's purely for my own convenience, so I don't have to feel like they're watching me so closely!

Kitkat151 · 12/12/2021 15:52

You should have asked him to move his car.....if you had ‘rested’ your door on my car I would let rip at you too

Okbye · 12/12/2021 15:52

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

just singing the thread title to my self to the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
Hahaha! This really gave me a good laugh, thank you! 😄

‘Twat at the softplay car park, he is such a fucking twaaat’ 😄😄

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 15:52

I wouldn’t be risking my children’s safety by putting them unbuckled in a car and driving even 1cm before I gently opened my car door on someone who should have known better. Madness

Onehotmess · 12/12/2021 15:53

@HardbackWriter amen! 👍🏻👐🙌

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/12/2021 15:53

But yes also you could have just asked him to move