Wanting to tell 44 weeks and breech friend she's risking her baby?

[scottishlass43]

My friend is 44 weeks pregnant with a footling breech. She's determined to have a natural birth at home with another friend of ours who's a midwife. She's been declining all intervention till now and has no cut off point - she wants to let the baby come naturally and doesn't want scans or any monitoring. She refuses to consider a c-section.

She's older (late thirties) and has been waiting for several years for this baby. I have no idea why she'd risk it now.

AIBU wanting to tell her what I think? Am I (and other worried friends) overreacting? Does anyone know of anyone who's done this, and how it went?

This doesn’t quite add up. Without scans she can’t know it is a footling breech, I don’t know that that is established until active labour anyway.

I would also be amazed at a qualified midwife risking her career to support in this scenario.

I really hope this has been miscommunicated or misrepresented because the alternative is a probability of the death or life changing injury to a baby and the risk of similar for its mother.

44w and not given birth

Are you sure ?

Seems very weird no scans since 20w

Why not a 28w one

Your friend is batshit crazy. Is she on the waccy baccy, by any chance?

She sounds like a hippy/new age/alternative lifestyle type. The so-called 'midwife' sounds like one of those 'wise women' or doulas.

No reputable and responsible midwife is going to risk their registration and career by being an accomplice to this complete and utter madness.

Sheeesh.

Bar pleading with her (or her DP) to reconsider, I don't think there's much more you can do. I would find it very very hard to continue any friendship with her considering how fucking stupid she's being, risking her own life and the life and wellbeing of her baby for what?! Idiot.

Bloody hell, that sounds insane.

If I were you I would contact her GP, explain what’s going on and that she is being supported by this midwife. If the midwife is actively working, I would also contact wherever she works. You can be anonymous but give both their names and details.

The best chance is that the midwife will get pulled up, and that will frighten your friend into her senses.

They’ll likely never know it was you, but if she’s a good friend, you have put her and the future baby’s health above friendship.

@AnyFucker

If she hasn’t been scanned since 20 weeks how is anyone positive the baby is footling breech ?

I would expect a MW to be able to tell from palpation. That’s certainly what they do in normal care - palpation is telling them if baby is breech and then they have the scan to confirm it.

YANBU to say something. If the worst happens, at least you'll know you did all you could.

Can you update us on this when the baby comes OP it has made me feel so sad and worried. I really hope and pray she sees sense.

I agree that an experienced midwife can tell the difference between a bum and a head - but footling as well? All by palpation?

Either not the whole story or a made up thread

Perhaps op will come back and enlighten us

@LostForIdeas I believe this is how they know, yes. She's also been having sweeps from the midwife and the feet have been felt.

I wish I were making this up. Wouldn't that be much better.

@SlashBeef I'll update. So worried. We've expressed concern but not outright mentioned still birth etc as you're an asshole if you mention sb to pregnant women.

A midwife may be able to diagnose a breech presentation on palpating, but I don’t think it would be possible to determine if it was frank, complete or footling without a scan.

Do people know what a footling breech baby is? You need a scab to confirm it.

I had a little footling and the Obstetrician said there was no way I could attempt natural birth unless he turned.

She only knew he was footling by scan - she could tell breech by palpating but not footling.

Her midwife friend should be stepping back and telling her she doesn't want to be part of this anymore, it's dangerous!

@Blondeshavemorefun ive had 2 babies and never had a 28 week scan. That isn't the norm. 12 & 20 weeks are usually the only scans.

Sounds like nonsense to me. My midwife couldn’t tell my babies position at 38 weeks the student got all excited he would be her first breech I was scanned and he was head down ready to go it was his bum and I told the student to go away.

At 44 weeks I would be concerned about the state of the placenta, is it even providing the nutrients and oxygen her baby will need.

@Ozanj I may have got the scan details wrong 🤷‍♀️ And she had a later one to confirm breech. I know she's declined all scans recently for sure.

[quote shouldistop]@Blondeshavemorefun ive had 2 babies and never had a 28 week scan. That isn't the norm. 12 & 20 weeks are usually the only scans. [/quote]
This is area dependant. Where I had DS they don’t get 12 week and 20 week scans. There’s either a 16-21 week scan or a 16 week and 28 week scan. There is always a 32 week scan. In the area where I currently live you get 12, 20. 28 and 32 week scans

I’ll never understand why people place more importance on their planned birth experience that the health and LIFE of their child.

This.
What a stupid selfish woman.
Hope the baby is ok.

The problem with footling breech is that the “smallest” bit of the baby is delivered first, not really stretching the birth canal all that much. Then if the head gets stuck it is a major problem. Too late for CSection and extremely high risk of prolonged cord compression.

My first was 10 days overdue and apparently the placenta was definitely past its best according to the midwife.

If she is into natural birth, hypnobirthing, woo stuff etc, it may be worth telling her to listen to her body. If it isn't going into labour by this stage, it may mean that her body knows that the baby isn't going to be born naturally.