To feel uncomfortable about meeting SILs new partner on Xmas day

[Day2night]

My SIL wants to bring her new partner to meet everyone on Christmas morning at my MILs house. He left his wife and young kids in the summer, and they’ve been together for two months. I’m not sure how to feel about it. Myself and husband and my two sons aged 6 and 12 always go to MILs to open their presents, but having this new man there will make me slightly uncomfortable. My SIL 40, wants kids and marriage, he is already saying he wants this all again too which rings huge alarm bells for me…but she’s so loved up I don’t want to shatter her happiness. He won’t be there in the afternoon, so I’m debating leaving our visit until then this year. Am not sure if I’m being too sensitive about it though, and should just go and put up with him being there.

@Oneforthemoneytwo

Also you have no idea of the circumstances of the split. There’s likely to be a long back story and the relationship ending way before he moved out

Considering he's got a 1 year old and a 3 year old (so presumably they were relatively content after baby number 1) I can't imagine there's been a massive length of time between the breakdown of his relationship and the start of this new one...

Given they separated at about freedom day having had a lockdown baby, it is hard to judge without a lot more facts.

Sorry is it just me that thinks it likely your SIL was involved in the breakup? Leaving his wife in summer and them being together for 2 months, apparently, but already talking big commitment..., sounds to me that way.

I'd be wary of someone who left his wife and young kids and is meeting the new girlfriend's family a) 2 months in and b) at Christmas. Also, I don't like men I don't know around my kids.

@BraveGoldie

Sorry is it just me that thinks it likely your SIL was involved in the breakup? Leaving his wife in summer and them being together for 2 months, apparently, but already talking big commitment..., sounds to me that way.

I was thinking the same thing!

@esloquehay

I'd be wary of someone who left his wife and young kids and is meeting the new girlfriend's family a) 2 months in and b) at Christmas. Also, I don't like men I don't know around my kids.

@esloquehay - you mean kinda like an OW but not quite?!

It seemed that way to meet too at start of the thread but I didn’t want to throw an OW firework into the mix and jump to conclusions.

@rubbishatballet

Why are so many people so anti meeting new people on Christmas Day? What are they worried about?

We've often had random extras at our extended family christmases - new partners, antipodean friends/house mates who aren't going home, someone's colleague with nowhere else to go etc etc. Surely it's exactly the time we should be welcoming of others (and I'm not even religious..), plus in my experience it only adds to the day and generally freshens up the dynamic!

@rubbishatballet - it’s one thing meeting a random extra at Christmas and agreed it’s welcoming too. It’d be fine if it were a new partner but owing to the SIL track record with boyfriends and her new partner’s circumstances and then meeting her I think most of us would be a bit in thus scenario. But like I said before, most of MN seem to be very cool girl about this scenario when most I know in real life would certainly raise an eyebrow. We’d be welcoming however.

@00100001

Taking the speed of the relationshipand tour feelings about that out.

It's fucking weird to meet someone/family for the first time on Christmas morning.

Is it? I introduced my new partner to family at Christmas as it seemed a really obvious time to show them off. Plus it was a quite trek home so meade sense. I met my now inlaws on Boxing day afternoon. Isn't there a whole thing around bringing partners home for Christmas? Or is that just Rom Coms