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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think health professionals shouldn't shame people

526 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 14:45

My son did not get a Covid jab. His rationale was that his risk of serious illness was very low even if he contracted it, and that all those who are at high risk have now been jabbed. I don't agree with that argument, and have had all 3 jabs myself, but respect that that is his view. He also suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.

He finally decided to have the vaccine, as he realises that various restrictions might impact on him (Covid passports etc) if he remains unvaccinated. So he went off yo the walk-in centre to get one this morning.

He's just got home fuming. When he presented himself, the person registering him asked him why he hadn't had his jab earlier. Why would that be any of their business? He then went through to the vaccinator who asked the same thing. He did explain that he had changed his mind because he wants to go to concerts and to visit his grandparents abroad. The vaccinator then said "that's a very selfish attitude, you won't have a vaccine to prevent people dying but you will to go on holiday".

Surely Health Professionals ought to be encouraging people to get vaccinated, not shaming them? I've given him grief about not getting vaccinated but I'm his Mum and he lives with us. I volunteer in a vaccine clinic and have always made a point of being really positive towards everyone who comes for their vaccine. AIBU?

OP posts:
anniegun · 11/12/2021 14:47

They were right. The healthcare professionals are getting pretty fed up with dealing with the consequences of people not getting vaccinated

Soubriquet · 11/12/2021 14:48

I haven’t had my jab and comments like that would completely put me off

Novasmummy · 11/12/2021 14:49

I get that health professionals are burdened by anti vaxxers however surely they should vent to each other or when they get home, not shame somebody who actually is getting a vaccine.

PooWillyNameChange · 11/12/2021 14:49

I agree that the approach probably won’t encourage people to get vaccinated and is counterproductive, but I also agree with them that he has a selfish attitude…though they probably should have kept their opinion to themselves. You must understand their frustration though, surely?

dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn · 11/12/2021 14:50

I agree he is selfish. However the vaccinator probably shouldn't have mentioned anything

Prinnny · 11/12/2021 14:51

Well they’re not wrong are they, but I suppose the truth does hurt sometimes Smile

Magenta82 · 11/12/2021 14:51

If I was hi I'd have told them to piss off and walked out. He was there he was getting jabbed, what more do they want? There was really no need for the guilt trip and it doesn't help anyone

3cats4poniesandababy · 11/12/2021 14:52

Whether they agree with someone's views or not is irrelevant. Judgemental comments will not encourage those who are reluctant to go get a jab!!!

Yes I am sure health care professionals are fed up of dealing with people unvaccianted but that doesn't make making judgemental comments okay.

ChatterMonkey · 11/12/2021 14:52

Im torn on this one...

On one hand, i completely agree with them, your sons attitude and reasoning at each stage has been entirely selfish, and people like him have been part of the whole problem.

But on the other hand, in a professional medical environment they shouldnt have openly shamed him like that.

But if i were you, i would just shrug, tell him that sometimes home truths hurt, and he needs to act more adult in his decision making in the future.

Sirzy · 11/12/2021 14:53

In this situation I don’t get the point. He was there. Ok maybe later than ideal but he was there to be vaccinated.

One of my worries is that people who where hesitant will put off going because of worries of being judged. This shows the judgement does happen which won’t help.

Bagamoyo1 · 11/12/2021 14:54

It’s true though isn’t it. He only got the vaccine now because he feels it might affect what he can do.
And it’s quite frustrating that people didn’t get their jabs in the summer when vaccine clinics had loads of free appointments. Now it’s a massive battle to get as many people boosted as possible, while also coping with the inevitable winter increases in pressure on the health service.
So someone rocking up now, when it’s crazy mad busy, saying “oh I’ll have my vaccine now please, so I can go to a concert” is pretty irritating.

madisonbridges · 11/12/2021 14:54

I agree with the vaccinator. He wasn't bothered when his refusal could have hurt others, but it became very important when he couldn't get into a concert! I'm glad they said it.
In fact I think the opposite to you and believe that HCPs should be more direct with peoole. I'm very overweight and it's affecting different parts of my health and no one has ever said that I need to lose weight. They're all too scared about not being touchy freely enough.

MaskingForIt · 11/12/2021 14:54

@Prinnny

Well they’re not wrong are they, but I suppose the truth does hurt sometimes Smile
Yep. He is doing it for selfish reasons. Truth hurts, eh?!
ilovesooty · 11/12/2021 14:54

They might have been better not saying anything but they're right in my opinion. I imagine he's fuming because he didn't like hearing others ' perception of his attitude.

purplesequins · 11/12/2021 14:54

it really depends how he was asked - if in a friendly, curious way it's ok imo

madisonbridges · 11/12/2021 14:56

@Magenta82

If I was hi I'd have told them to piss off and walked out. He was there he was getting jabbed, what more do they want? There was really no need for the guilt trip and it doesn't help anyone
Ah, but then he wouldn't be able to go to his concert, would he?
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/12/2021 14:58

No they bloody well shouldn't. I'm a health care professional and there is still such a thing as free will. If someone chooses to smoke, get fat, not have the vaccine it isn't my place to shame them.
I give the advice and then it's up to them.
I was fat shamed for years by my GP surgery and did it make me lose weight...no it didn't. I finally lost the weight when I decided to have private bariatric surgery and do it for myself.
All they did was give me a massive complex about myself and feel like crap.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 11/12/2021 14:59

Come on, most people got the jab for selfish reasons. I did - I got it because I thought it would limit how sick I got/in the hope we wouldn’t need more lockdowns etc. That’s selfish, and most people have done it for the same reason.

Shaming people who are finally there to get the jab is as pointless as it is unprofessional.

RoomOfRequirement · 11/12/2021 14:59

The truth does often upset people, yes.

ISpyCobraKai · 11/12/2021 15:00

His body, his choice and it's better late than never.
The HCP should have kept their thoughts to themselves.

Alltheblue · 11/12/2021 15:00

No of course they shouldn't say that but to be fair to them, people like your son are causing a great deal of grief.

JacquelineCarlyle · 11/12/2021 15:00

@Magenta82

If I was hi I'd have told them to piss off and walked out. He was there he was getting jabbed, what more do they want? There was really no need for the guilt trip and it doesn't help anyone
I agree with this (& I say that as someone who's double jabbed and getting my booster on Monday).

Shocking attitude from them and certainly won't help those who haven't been vaccinated (for whatever reason) to come forward.

whitehorsesdonotlie · 11/12/2021 15:01

Well, they weren't wrong... He was able to get over his 'anxiety' when he wanted to, but not to protect others... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agree the HC workers shouldn't have said anything, but they're probably stressed, overworked, and worried about the future.

Babyvenusplant · 11/12/2021 15:02

I agree with their comments but it's extremely unprofessional to say those things to him imo. Surely speaking to someone like that would put them off going back for their next one Confused

Livpool · 11/12/2021 15:03

@whitehorsesdonotlie

Well, they weren't wrong... He was able to get over his 'anxiety' when he wanted to, but not to protect others... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agree the HC workers shouldn't have said anything, but they're probably stressed, overworked, and worried about the future.

Agree with this