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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think health professionals shouldn't shame people

526 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 14:45

My son did not get a Covid jab. His rationale was that his risk of serious illness was very low even if he contracted it, and that all those who are at high risk have now been jabbed. I don't agree with that argument, and have had all 3 jabs myself, but respect that that is his view. He also suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.

He finally decided to have the vaccine, as he realises that various restrictions might impact on him (Covid passports etc) if he remains unvaccinated. So he went off yo the walk-in centre to get one this morning.

He's just got home fuming. When he presented himself, the person registering him asked him why he hadn't had his jab earlier. Why would that be any of their business? He then went through to the vaccinator who asked the same thing. He did explain that he had changed his mind because he wants to go to concerts and to visit his grandparents abroad. The vaccinator then said "that's a very selfish attitude, you won't have a vaccine to prevent people dying but you will to go on holiday".

Surely Health Professionals ought to be encouraging people to get vaccinated, not shaming them? I've given him grief about not getting vaccinated but I'm his Mum and he lives with us. I volunteer in a vaccine clinic and have always made a point of being really positive towards everyone who comes for their vaccine. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/12/2021 16:20

@LuluBlakey1 of course educating the public is important. But I've been trying to educate/reason/argue with him about getting the vaccination for months. He's finally been persuaded, yet gets reprimanded when he goes to get it. Personally, I think that's unprofessional and counterproductive, even if I agree with the sentiments.

OP posts:
supergloo · 11/12/2021 16:21

I'd be a tad anxious if someone was injecting me with malice.

ChristmasTreeBee · 11/12/2021 16:22

See now if someone had said that to me I’d have told them fat chance of me having it now and walked out.

Regardless of his reasons for not having it it was very very unprofessional of them.

EricCartmansUnderpants · 11/12/2021 16:22

Personally, I think that's unprofessional and counterproductive

That's because it is unprofessional and counterproductive.

AliveAndSleeping · 11/12/2021 16:23

@SunshineCake1

I volunteer in a vaccine clinic and have always made a point of being really positive towards everyone who comes for their vaccine. AIBU?

Do you realise how patronising that sounds?

They are right. He wouldn't do it for the greater good but will now he wants something in return.

Healthy and young people have died of covid. He's an idiot.

Most people got vaccinated to protect themselves as till recently we didn't even know if vaccines prevent transmission. It's pretty unreasonable to now have a chip on your shoulder and pretend you did it for the greater good and shame other people.
Jackofallsorts · 11/12/2021 16:24

I wouldn't let anyone who spoke to me like that stick a needle in my arm.

Health professionals don't get to pass judgment on those they treat. A little humility goes a long way.

Derbee · 11/12/2021 16:25

So he’s selfish and the truth hurts. Fuming is a bit OTT. He should be embarrassed, but fuming is a bit much.

RandomUsernameHere · 11/12/2021 16:25

@EllaVaNight

Many, possibly most, people have had the vaccine for selfish reasons. Either they don't want to become ill or die from covid or they want to return to normal life or they want to be able to do things.

Health care professionals shouldn't be speaking to people like that. I'd never speak to a resident (care home) like that and expect disciplinary action if I did.

He should make a complaint imo.

This. I've just had my third vaccine. I don't mind admitting that I did it for selfish reasons (to protect myself and those I care about). The HCPs were wrong in the way they spoke to OP's son.
fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:26

@anniegun

They were right. The healthcare professionals are getting pretty fed up with dealing with the consequences of people not getting vaccinated
They were not right. People get vaccinated for their own benefit (in my case because I was scared of long covid) even if they like to claim they were doing it for the good of society. The good thing is that the OP's son is getting vaccinated now and it was none of the health professionals' business why he'd not got it done sooner. In any event quite a few care and healthcare workers have more or less had to be forced into getting vaccinated themselves!

I don't care why people are vaccinated - only the fact that they are. I agree with the OP that healthcare workers should be less judgey.

WhoWants2Know · 11/12/2021 16:26

I'm on the fence with this one. I don't see that they were lying in what they said. And I don't think it's necessarily wrong to state a fact just because it hurts someone's feelings.

Jackofallsorts · 11/12/2021 16:29

Everyone gets vaccinated for selfish reasons. That's the whole point of vaccines.

Roundtoedshoes · 11/12/2021 16:29

The way people have acted throughout the pandemic has been selfish. I’m rolling my eyes at people pretending they did this to save a granny. I’m sure some people did, but most people are looking out for number one, and all the pro-vaccine people should be happy when someone who was previously unsure gets one, not have a go at them. Especially in a medical setting. So unprofessional.

supergloo · 11/12/2021 16:30

Seriously though, what a load of cobblers to suggest that people who already have the vaccine were altruistic. I would say most people got the vaccine to 1) protect themselves and 2) to try to get back to their normal lives.

fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:30

@WhoWants2Know

I'm on the fence with this one. I don't see that they were lying in what they said. And I don't think it's necessarily wrong to state a fact just because it hurts someone's feelings.
But why does it matter why he is getting vaccinated now. He might have not been vaccinated for a whole myriad of reasons, eg getting covid when he was due to have it. I myself had to delay my second dose because I had a stomach bug at the time.
fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:31

And thank goodness for the last three posts. There are some sane people on MN after all.

Toadsinholes · 11/12/2021 16:31

This is terrible - WHY you get it is irrelevant. I only got it to go on holiday too, if I’m really honest. Those who say they only got it to protect others & no other ‘selfish’ reasons at all are probably deluding themselves. ‘Want life to go back to normal so you can go to the pub/visit your mum/go to Italy? SELFISH. You should only have it for other people’
What a load of shit. I’m not surprised he was pissed off.

fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:31

all the pro-vaccine people should be happy when someone who was previously unsure gets one, not have a go at them Indeed.

Derbee · 11/12/2021 16:31

All these “vaccine hesitant” people like your son (because they don’t like antivaxer) are the first to be shouting about their rights to an opinion etc etc but as soon as someone gives their opinion, it’s mean and rude and unnecessary.

Sooooooo tiresome and boring

fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:32

It would be a bit like having a go at a woman for not going for her smear test regularly/on time, rather than saying "well done you for coming now".

fakereview · 11/12/2021 16:33

@Derbee

All these “vaccine hesitant” people like your son (because they don’t like antivaxer) are the first to be shouting about their rights to an opinion etc etc but as soon as someone gives their opinion, it’s mean and rude and unnecessary.

Sooooooo tiresome and boring

It is mean and rude and unnecessary - and tiresome and boring - in a professional setting. As mentioned above - if you didn't go for a smear test for some years would you be happy at being lectured for not going sooner?
pointythings · 11/12/2021 16:34

I would have thought it but not said it. To be honest, people like your son do deserve some heavy eye rolling - he has been completely selfish and irresponsible. It isn't for a health professional to speak their very reasonable thoughts out loud though.

Laiste · 11/12/2021 16:35

Oh good god how many people hand on heart got vaccinated with the no.1 reason being to ''protect others''? Hmm

What a load of sanctimonious bollocks.

If, by spouting their own personal thoughts, that healthcare worker managed to put OPs son off, or someone else who didn't meet their perfect criteria off, THEY would be the one doing more harm than good.

supergloo · 11/12/2021 16:35

@pointythings

I would have thought it but not said it. To be honest, people like your son do deserve some heavy eye rolling - he has been completely selfish and irresponsible. It isn't for a health professional to speak their very reasonable thoughts out loud though.
Holy cow, can you imagine if we said everything we were thinking, out loud, to patients?? (and then had to document).
chesirecat99 · 11/12/2021 16:37

I agree. But I doubt very much that the person who registered him was an HCP and there is a good chance that the person vaccinating him wasn't an HCP either.

RosesAndHellebores · 11/12/2021 16:37

What they said was factual but a professional wouldn't have said it and would have appreciated the sensitivity of shaming. I don't floss as often as I should, the dental nurse wanging on about it doesn't make me more minded to go.

Vaccination is not mandatory. Regulations have had to be brought in to ensure all HCPs are vaccinated against covid. It's extremely concerning if there are unvaccinated HCPs and I would refuse to be treated by one who wasn't.