I have a pet peeve and that’s been poked/tapped. I’m also ND and any form of ‘surprise touch’ either makes me tense or generally feels like razor blades on my skin. Being poked/tapped/shaked makes me tense but really really winds me up. If anyone gets in my personal space without me wanting them to be there I completely tense up and have heightened anxiety for at least a few hours. I know it’s pathetic especially what other woman have to endure but its the anxiety it brings afterwards.
I’m chilled out in bed and DP comes in and sits on the end of the bed. He’s goofing around and I’m not laughing as I’ve just woke up, got a hangover and trying to concentrate on a text. Firstly he spreads his hand on my belly and shakes it (this makes me tense and it generally hurts as I need to wee) so I hold him to stop and that I’m not in the mood. He then pokes my boob with his big toe with ‘whhhhhyyyy are yooou beinnngg so grumpy’. So I jab him back with my toe and tell him to leave me alone. He then gets on all fours over me and starts bouncing the bed. I tell him to fuck off and leave me alone so he gets up, whips the duvet off the bed and throws it on my face. He sulks off ranting that he’s only trying to have a laugh.
30 minutes later he comes back in now back in his jokey moods and asks for an apology, I do for swearing and we have a laugh. I ask for his apology and he changes his tone that he’s done absolutely nothing wrong and that I’m always the one flying off the handle etc etc. Apparently it’s so much fun winding me up as it’s so easy so I should relax more. I start welling up and beg him to stop doing it, he kicks off for me causing a problem and the real problem is how I jab him back with anger but he doesn’t cause a scene about it. I’m crying and get it all out of my system of that I’ve begged him for years to stop getting in my personal space to annoy me, that I’m tired of the anxiety it brings, I should be able to relax in my own home and as he doesn’t listen to what I say I’ve got no choice to jab him back (he only usually stops when I either get really at him or poke him back harder or I usually walk away - when he’s in his ‘jokey/goofy’ mood I try to stay out of his way or immediately feel tense). He was going on that he’s only joking and that I’m making it into a bigger deal than what it is. I call him out for gaslighting me he storms off ranting ‘you’re so fucking unreasonable and it’s all about you’ and does a fake laugh.
I’m still in bed as I don’t want to see him. Since he said about me being unreasonable, I immediately felt hatred towards him as there’s no-one I actually hate. The perfect situation right now if he came upstairs to pack his things. I know this is long but as this has been going on for years I’m ready to tell him to pack his bags, but on the flip side am I massively over reacting?