To be worried my sister is doing the Alpha course?

[Southtrainer]

Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

@SpanielsAreMyLife

My sister did an Alpha course, though none of us knew about it at the time. It also co-incided with what I personally feel was a mental health crisis, and the person that I knew disappeared into the ether.

We're no longer in contact because I just don't know who she is anymore - and she's dropped everyone of her old friends. She's also dropped my DC, who were a massive part of her life beforehand.

I appreciate that for some people, religion can be a great comfort but I think it can also be a very big cry for help too.

This any religion when you are low, vulnerable or undergoing any stress or emotional or mental problems can provide a crutch that can reel you in.

I know as I’ve done it - my family is so abusive and I needed a family an evangelical church provided it - the anti women anti gay anti single mums etc was all hidden

Your experience is your experience, EnidSpyton. Nothing more, nothing less. It proves nothing.

My experience of the number of churches I have attended over the years is different from yours. My experience is not your description of Christian churches.

YABU! I am a Christian and would offer a similar course to folks in our area. The Alpha course (and the one we do) is used simply to provide information about the Christian faith. There's absolutely no pressure to convert, in fact, most Christian's (including myself) don't believe you can force someone to convert. Either they believe or they don't. We don't push.

It's funny, so many people will decide they are agnostic, or atheist without actually exploring what Christianity is all about. Your sister is showing an interest and "hearing them out" I guess you could say. I don't think this is a reason for concern, but actually, it's refreshing to see someone with an open mind. She may do the course and decide she still doesn't believe, and that's absolutely fine. It's only short videos and a discussion. Leave her be.

@Tanith

Your experience is your experience, EnidSpyton. Nothing more, nothing less. It proves nothing.

My experience of the number of churches I have attended over the years is different from yours. My experience is not your description of Christian churches.

Your experience is your experience, @Tanith. It also proves nothing.

Not sure what your point is here.

@WOTW

YABU! I am a Christian and would offer a similar course to folks in our area. The Alpha course (and the one we do) is used simply to provide information about the Christian faith. There's absolutely no pressure to convert, in fact, most Christian's (including myself) don't believe you can force someone to convert. Either they believe or they don't. We don't push.

It's funny, so many people will decide they are agnostic, or atheist without actually exploring what Christianity is all about. Your sister is showing an interest and "hearing them out" I guess you could say. I don't think this is a reason for concern, but actually, it's refreshing to see someone with an open mind. She may do the course and decide she still doesn't believe, and that's absolutely fine. It's only short videos and a discussion. Leave her be.

Did you not read the part where her sister's boyfriend is homophobic, doesn't believe in dinosaurs, and her sister has changed since meeting him in order to fit in with his fundamentalist Christian views?

Under those circumstances, the OP has every reason to be concerned about her sister attending an Alpha course run by his church, which is preaching anti evolution and homophobic views.

And pretending the Alpha course is just about 'information' and not about conversion is ridiculous. Honestly. There's a reason why they provide free food, too. Draws in the most vulnerable and keeps them there.

I'm not religious ...I did the alpha course ..it was interesting..lots of different views lots of chat ...no pressure to 'join' the church etc
I'm still in the same place regarding beliefs etc

If they're not after converting people then why is Alpha exclusively for non believers?

@ALightThatNeverGoesOut

It isn't.

@enidspyton
I totally agree that it is horrendous that it took a teenager's death for that church to change and grow. It isn't actually my church but one I know of in my area.
I think everyone within that church would also agree with you that it was horrendous.
I am also extremely sorry about your experiences of spiritual abuse. That must have been an awful thing for you to go through. I know it happens. I have experienced (maybe a more minor version ?) it myself within the church and I have also experienced unconditional love and people who have stuck by me and supported me in an extremely sacrificial way.
I don't have easy answers, but I do know that the whole church is not homophobic or sexist and I am very sorry that you have been hurt.

@WOTW

YABU! I am a Christian and would offer a similar course to folks in our area. The Alpha course (and the one we do) is used simply to provide information about the Christian faith. There's absolutely no pressure to convert, in fact, most Christian's (including myself) don't believe you can force someone to convert. Either they believe or they don't. We don't push.

It's funny, so many people will decide they are agnostic, or atheist without actually exploring what Christianity is all about. Your sister is showing an interest and "hearing them out" I guess you could say. I don't think this is a reason for concern, but actually, it's refreshing to see someone with an open mind. She may do the course and decide she still doesn't believe, and that's absolutely fine. It's only short videos and a discussion. Leave her be.

In this specific case though, OP is concerned about the relationship due to a number of red flags. She says her sisters partner and family don't believe in dinosaurs and that her sister has stopped seeing her gay friends since being with him - these things indicate he is relatively extreme in his views so I can understand OP being concerned.

Of course the aim of the Alpha course is to convert new Christians! It is an interesting discussion course that explores all the ideas and philosophy, isn't extreme, etc but you are all kidding yourselves if you think an evangelical Christian course is not being run with the aim of recruiting new people to the faith! It even says in the first line of the "about alpha" page that "The Alpha Course is an effective form of evangelism".

Red flags are red flags. The religion is just there into the mix.

The either intentional or unintentional misinformation on here about Alpha, Christianity, and evangelicals is pretty mind boggling!

It is pretty true on most threads about religion of any kind. People either project their own personal anecdotes onto an entire system of beliefs or they they actually don't know anything but ramble on anyways!

@Midlifemusings

The either intentional or unintentional misinformation on here about Alpha, Christianity, and evangelicals is pretty mind boggling!

It is pretty true on most threads about religion of any kind. People either project their own personal anecdotes onto an entire system of beliefs or they they actually don't know anything but ramble on anyways!

What messaging do you want to give about Alpha, Christianity and evangelicalism that you feel has not been covered?

I did the Alpha course, was really interesting but I’m still an atheist. Good to understand how other people see the world though.

TBH OP I don't think you will get a clear idea of what is happening until you talk to her about it. If she appears to abandon lifelong ideas which are basically inclusive and non patriarchal in favour of a different mindset, you should ask why. I don't really think this is about the Alpha course or converting but about trying to "fit in" with the mores of another family because of the relationship-never a good thing.

All the Christians I have met have accepted scientific explanations for everything that they know of.
Beliefs in Jesus etc are separate because they have Faith.

@EducatingArti if the church as an institution is not homophobic, then why won't it marry a same-sex couple?

It depends on who’s running the course. But generally it’s very low pressure and not about conversion.

@julieca great question, and the precise reason many of us will continue to fight for true marriage equality.

I would not interfere with my siblings beliefs. We are all adult and it's choice. I have no idea what some believe.

The course has been doing the rounds for years. I have not done it as no point . It doesn't make you a christian or anything.
From what I gather it is a harmless course and nothing for any concern..

It is not like scientology or the likes.

I don't know how people can say the C of E isn't fundamentally homophobic. The C of E does not recognise same-sex marriages, and forbids clergy to bless same-sex unions.

www.1946themovie.com/
Explaining why some churches are homophobic, the Bible wasn’t written in English…

It doesn't make you a christian or anything.

Then what is the point of it?

I guess people who sell timeshares also say that they're not flogging anything and if people want to buy one having listened to a presentation about them that's pure coincidence.