To be worried my sister is doing the Alpha course?

[Southtrainer]

Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

She won’t be brainwashed by the Alpha course

I did the Alpha Course whilst I was at Uni. It was discussion based and we did no arm waving or any conversions. I listen to the fears about controlling and wonder about the OP who seems to want to control her sister’s actions.

She’s moved across the country, left her job and their religion is potentially against LGBT.

This has got nothing to do with the comment Christianity is “hardly a cult”. She has already done several things which she clearly hasn’t been close enough to you (where it seems she was before) to explain, reassure you. You love her - if my sister did this I’d be in the car to her to find out what was going on. If she showed no interest in religion before then what on earth is she doing on this course? They clearly want her to convert. If she truly loves him and is still herself then fine, but changing herself so very much to fit in with him is very controlling. Has he done anything to fit into her life? I’m really surprised at the views here, she’s being cut off from her old way of life - that’s the point. Best wishes

@JaninaDuszejko

I'm as atheist as they come but the CofE is hardly a dangerous cult. She'll be fine.

Exactly this. A very middle class Dentist did it and there was nothing to frighten the horses. She said it really helped her.

It isn't like some others {Scientology} that allegedly ask for money , and lots of it.

My brother went along after he nearly died in a cycling accident and felt he needed to get to know his maker before it was too late. His wife is a complete unbeliever but said that he always came home a nicer person after being there.

From experience (don't ask ha ha), while the Alpha course does encourage questions/discussion, the overall aim is most definitely conversion to a christian (small c intended) faith, with the leaders having a 'bank' of answers to common questions. There is often a lot of kindness thrown around, shared meals, that sort of thing, to make people feel welcomed and accepted into the 'group'. I would not be overly concerned that your sister wants to explore faiths, many people do, but she shouldn't really only explore one faith, or be doing it to please someone else or at their suggestion. Many christians try to convert non-believing partners, and I would be wary there is some sort of agenda here. Faith isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can make some folks lives better, but it should always be her own decision with no coercion (whether blatant or subtle!).

Have you actually talked with your sister?

Why not sit down and have a chat with her, before assuming the world is out to get her!

I was atheist prior to my marriage, and now I am Hindu which came through my marriage I am very open to spiritualism and other religions and actively go to Gurdwaras and churches to pray and am more religious in many ways than my husband whom was always religious!

Maybe having exposure from other people and not like minded people is simply making her ask questions to other ways of life!

No it’s nothing to worry about it’s just a basic course in Christian beliefs. No pressure no indoctrination.

The Alpha course has been running for years and is pretty mainstream. Have you thought that having something to believe in might massively enhance her life and make her very happy ? And if her and her partner share their belief it might strengthen and deepen their relationship .

@Southtrainer

Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

OP for wiw I have two cousins who teach the AC. It depends on the course leaders as to whether or not there is pressure and intensity, of course they want you to covert after exploring, that is the ultimate goal. Both cousins have been trained in conversion therapy also so they lean towards that crazy evangelical side. They are lovely people who I'm incredibly close to but still think my religion is inferior to theirs (G. Wiccan) and their whole church seems to be intolerant to certain lifestyles in a underhand and creepy way. I always associate alpha with their beliefs so pretty negatively really. Thing is, there is not a lot you can do if your sister is on that path, if she picks up and Cristian ways hopefully ot will be kindness and tolerance towards others.

I have done the Alpha course. It was absolutely about converting you. There was far too quick a movement on from “this guy thinks this, what do you think?” To “yeah, I think we’ve all agreed God did it”.

Towards the end of my last session I had four church people “discussing” things with me, and everyone else was on a separate “agrees that God might exist” table.

Was a fun few nights. Thinking about doing it again.

I went to one meeting on the alpha course, but I am quite analytical so being told that in gods eyes Hitler and mother Teresa were equal, I couldn’t agree.
However having said that one of my daughters did the whole course and found it very meaningful and fulfilling. Yes it did change her but in a positive way.
It certainly won’t do her any harm, because as a family you may not believe doesn’t mean you are right.

Not evangelical church but our parish has seen an uptake in young families coming back to the church. We are a very fractured society at the moment and religion does create a safety net (sometimes)

@Motheroftigers

Not evangelical church but our parish has seen an uptake in young families coming back to the church. We are a very fractured society at the moment and religion does create a safety net (sometimes)

And a way in to "St Michael of the Bleeding Heart and nice children from the posh houses and no-one from the Council Estate Primary School".

I undertook the course with the Salvos years ago. Lovely meal and and active discussion, although because I liked the Officers attending I must say I didn't ask the harder questions. Unless they have updated the film and people, I thought the guy presenting it was pretty lame.

However on one occasion I found myself quite overwhelmed and upset. I don't know why as I'm not usually easily influenced. However in the long run I don't believe its had any influence or changed my decision making.

My MIL did the course through her local Anglican church years before me. She was someone you would say walked with her God and lived her life accordingly. She was asked to leave her Alpha course as her questions (and she would never be rude) were considered extreme. She just felt the people hosting it through her church should have been able to answer her questions!

So in summary I don't see that the course on its own is influential as far as ''converting'' to another religion.

What I would be more concerned about, is this guy's influence on your Sister's thinking, esp. if she is dropping friends solely because of their private sexual preference. That is nobody's business except their own.

Surely if this fellow is so judgemental, he needs to be called out for not following God's teachings?

I'm no a Christian and have attended an Alpha course. They absolutely shouldn't be about pressuring people to become Christian. They are literally about raising questions you have about the faith.

We encourage Christians from our church who have doubts or worries about inconsistencies to attend them and try to get more settled in their ideas. The Christian faith is so far from simple and there's no judgement of anything said on an Alpha course.

Sorry should read 'I'm a Christian...'

The Alpha course is very generic and not specific to any religion. It is for people who want to explore who God is and what the Bible says. It isn't a conversion tool to a particular religion.
Be more worried if she starts studying with Mormons or JW.

It’s not always as innocent as others have said. My husband did it following encouragement from a work friend and was converted, baptised and in my opinion, brainwashed. It’s not always CofE; the one he did was apostolic which is to do what the apostles do which is go out and recruit people, very full-on, all-encompassing and intense.

It has been so unbelievably hard. He is a different person now and I am so sad.

I did the alpha course after him after he encouraged me to do it and I hated it. The teacher boasted that in all his years of teaching it, every single person had gone on to be baptised. Not me, I found it a massive hard sell, the teacher said everyone who wasn’t a believer was a “sinner” and I had to sit through it seething at the enormous wedge it had driven between me and my husband. Literally no way I am converting.

Tell your sister to be careful and keep her wits about her.

Glad alpha question but do they accept there is no evidence of Jesus at all. And even if you read that lots of scholars think he did there is still none.

I know people who have undertaken it and they all seemed to really enjoy the discussions.

@EnidSpyton

OP have since seen your other posts about your sister's behaviour changing since she's been with this guy.

A lot of evangelical Christian men are very controlling. They're attracted to the church because it gives them legitimised power over women.

Evangelical Christians believe men are superior to women, that they have the role of the head of the household, that they are the authority over the household, etc etc etc. They believe that a woman's job is to 'submit' to her husband.

Evangelical Christian readings of the Bible are built around perpetuating a narrative of rightful male dominance over women. There's also a HUGE and incredibly unhealthy focus on sexual purity and homophobia.

Evangelical Christianity IS a cult. It's led by a small group of men who enjoy the power it gives them over others. Honestly, unless you've been in that world, you will never truly understand how toxic it is.

I would be doing whatever I could to get her out of this relationship before you lose her altogether.

Just in case any of you are really interested in what most "evangelical Christians" believe about men, women & marriage, can I recommend that you go to the source of those beliefs, the Bible.

Genesis 2 vs 18 - 25 is a good starting point and then Ephesians 5 vs 21 - 33. You won't find anything there about men being encouraged to be "controlling" or regard themselves as "superior" to their spouse. Yes, there is some clear teaching on exactly which partner in the relationship God regards as more accountable to Him for the well-being of that relationship - The man. Yes, there's talk of wives respecting and submitting to their husbands - but the corollary of that is an expectation that husbands will love their wives as they do their own bodies. Therein lies the balance. If husbands don't show that they love their wives that much in every decision they make & every interaction that they have with their wife, they are in the wrong as far as God is concerned - PERIOD.

If the prospective partner knows his bible, he'll be aware of the instruction to Christians in 2 Corinthians 6 v 14 not to be "unequally yoked with unbelievers". God knows that a marriage is unlikely to succeed if the 2 partners do not share a like mind on matters of faith & beliefs - or of unbelief, for that matter. By encouraging your sister to attend the Alpha course, he's testing the water to see if there is any likelihood of her being of like mind with him going forward.

In my view, you should be pleased that he is taking this step before he commits to a possible longer term relationship. If your sister baulks at what she hears at Alpha, it is very likely that the outcome will be a parting of their ways, not a veiled attempt to brain-wash her into submission.

@Bunnybunny1

It definitely IS a cult no doubt. Look up John Ronson’s take on it! He spent time investigating them.

It depends what he investigated! Obviously he was looking for this and would find it.

That's like saying all medical staff for example are rubbish because a few who have messed up.

Not all Christianity is like that. If you go back a couple of pages from this you will find my posts on it.

I am as maverick as they come. You wouldn't expect me to have any Christian beliefs. The church is not like the view of one person. My beliefs aren't main stream.

Yes parts of it I expect can come across like that in some churches. That's people and they evildoers be like that in any walk of life.

The Christian Church does a hell of alot of good in this country and abroad.

Foodbanks are just one example that are run by the Trussel group which is the Chrisyian Church. Like I said go back to my other posts if you want more info

@Againstmachine

Glad alpha question but do they accept there is no evidence of Jesus at all. And even if you read that lots of scholars think he did there is still none.

Have a look at this:

www.history.com/news/was-jesus-real-historical-evidence

Some people find faith, others lose it. For many it comes and goes throughout life. It is not incompatible with socialism and there a lots for whom Labour and Christian values go hand in hand. The basis is love. I wouldn't worry.