Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried my sister is doing the Alpha course?

510 replies

Southtrainer · 11/12/2021 11:30

Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

OP posts:
CaptSkippy · 12/12/2021 15:18

So, to all the commenters who say that this course is simply an introduction/information course and not intended to convert anyone.

What would you do if you were tying to convert someone? How would you go about it?

Negligee · 12/12/2021 15:49

@CaptSkippy

So, to all the commenters who say that this course is simply an introduction/information course and not intended to convert anyone.

What would you do if you were tying to convert someone? How would you go about it?

It’s the equivalent of those ‘free personality tests’ the Scientologists are always offering on the street.
Rachand23 · 12/12/2021 17:30

Have you thought she might be worried about you?

Properjob · 12/12/2021 17:35

This happened to my brother. To be fair there are plenty of other factors that meant he has changed his views, not just because of the Alpha course, but he chose to marry an ex Catholic who was on her ownjourney, and they are now both right wing fundamentalist Christian antivaxxers nd were at one time in a cult. Its caused a huge rift between us although we continue to see and care for each other and they are both lovely people if you don't peek under the bonnet as it were. Also I had a friend brought up a Muslim who feel on hard times and then converted to Christianity after an Alpha course despite being very anti religion for her whole adult life. She did seem a bit happier for a while. I think it really depends upon what else is going on in their lives whether the brainwashing course sticks or not.

godmum56 · 12/12/2021 17:38

@Properjob

This happened to my brother. To be fair there are plenty of other factors that meant he has changed his views, not just because of the Alpha course, but he chose to marry an ex Catholic who was on her ownjourney, and they are now both right wing fundamentalist Christian antivaxxers nd were at one time in a cult. Its caused a huge rift between us although we continue to see and care for each other and they are both lovely people if you don't peek under the bonnet as it were. Also I had a friend brought up a Muslim who feel on hard times and then converted to Christianity after an Alpha course despite being very anti religion for her whole adult life. She did seem a bit happier for a while. I think it really depends upon what else is going on in their lives whether the brainwashing course sticks or not.
good point....sometimes people taking these courses bring their own baggage with them.....if it wasn't the alpha, it would be something else to fill the need.
Heruka · 12/12/2021 17:43

I’d be worried op. My mum is an evangelical Christian and helps run alpha courses. It’s very much about recruitment, not a ‘take it or leave it’ intention. Ultimately she/they believe that all of us who do not have an active relationship with god (being a good person is NOT enough), are going to hell. So there is a strong desire to recruit people, of course if you believed that I guess, and very little tolerance for other peoples views. I hope your sister is ok.

bustersword · 12/12/2021 17:44

@Rachand23

Have you thought she might be worried about you?
Why? OP is not the one with the controlling boyfriend here.
Northernparent68 · 12/12/2021 17:45

@Rachand23

Have you thought she might be worried about you?
This. The sister might start a thread my sister is trying to convert me to atheism
THEDEACON · 12/12/2021 17:48

Minister of religion here not a massive fan of the Alpha course myself but I'm more liberal wing than evangelical wing of mainstream Christianity You needn't be overly worried though

KC934 · 12/12/2021 17:50

Oh god, I know ppl who've done the alpha course and it is mental. They preach decidedly unchristian values like homophobia, and think a woman's place is in the kitchen and breeding kids 🤢

Bertiebiscuit · 12/12/2021 17:51

I'd be troubled - I've heard that the Alpha course is homophobic apart from anything else, and I don't know why someone who isn't a Christian would go on it, as obviously anyone who grew up in an English school knows already what Christianity is about.

hivemindneeded · 12/12/2021 17:52

@CaptSkippy

So, to all the commenters who say that this course is simply an introduction/information course and not intended to convert anyone.

What would you do if you were tying to convert someone? How would you go about it?

Well if I were of a mind to run a cult and co-erce people into believing what I believed, I'd keep them around for a lot longer than a couple of hours a week. I'd bombard them with 'love' and 'friends' who thought they were 'brilliant' and steer them away from family, old friendships and activities that i would claim were rooted in the devil's work. I'd argue that the root of their insecurity/unhappiness/life failure/loneliness/relationship breakdown/depression (I'd home in on hat prompted them to seek spiritual exploration) was all the things that stabilised their life before. I'd avidly draw them into an exhausting round of praying and chanting and bible study in which they had little chance to speak or ask questions, but bombard them with my 'beliefs' while getting their coterie of new friends to enthusiastically agree and create false physical highs from all the healing and talking in tongues and nonsense like that. then I;d expect a hefty tithe of their income and for them to show their devotion to the Lord (and Me0 by doing lots of volunteering and recruiting of new members to our Holy Family.

But as I'm just a boring old Christian who has done the Alpha course, I might occasionally invite them for a coffee after class if they seem like they don't want to go home yet. And if they turned up at church of their own volition I'd smile and say hi.

Mary54 · 12/12/2021 17:52

Really don't need to be worried. This is not a "do the course and be converted" situation. Have been involved in several Alpha courses (my DH has lead them) here and in the UK. As stated, they usually involve a video, a discussion and in the original form, a bring and share meal at each meeting. Their purpose is to provide an informal (outside church) setting in which people can find out more about Christianity. There is no pressure put on the course members to attend church or accept Christ.

hivemindneeded · 12/12/2021 17:55

I do appreciate that Nicky Gumble and HTC Brompton are a bit this way inclined. Personally, I find Gumble unspeakably creepy and slithery and suspect him of being duplicitous. It doesn't surprise me that he is homophobic. And I didn't know he started alpha. But I just want to counter the massive criticism of it from people who haven't done it and point out that in most churches across the country it really is just bible chat, coffee and a bit of food once a week. Nothing more sinister.

Oreo78 · 12/12/2021 17:56

The Alpha course is fine. It just allows people to ask questions and find out more about the religion of Christianity. Teachers have to be very careful how they teach Christianity in schools so they don't come across as trying to evangelise. Therefore, children don't really learn what Christians actually believe when it comes to the person of Jesus Christ and how he saved humanity. I think this is a pity because there is such a huge misconception in the populace about Christianity in a nation that has been predominately Christian for centuries.

The Alpha course just shares the very basic concepts of Christianity so that your sister can have a better understanding of what her new partner believes.

Btw, many churches of different denominations use the Alpha course. Trust me, it is not a dodgy cult thing.

whataboutbob · 12/12/2021 17:56

Negligee says it best. Alpha is not mainstream C of E, it’s the evangelical branch of Christianity. I lived with an evangelical family for a while, lovely people, but I had no doubt that their church was quite a hothouse, mutually self reinforcing slightly cultish organisation where prestige would have been garnered by those who brought new persons into the fold. On a wider level, it’s quite allied to US style muscular Christianity, with all its ramifications including meddling in Middle Eastern politics to bring about the end of days “ rapture” where the righteous go to heaven and everyone else goes to hell. I guess how much a particular Alpha course subscribes to all this will depend on the personalities at that particular church.

SnackQueen · 12/12/2021 18:00

Sounds like your sister is changing her ways, her beliefs and her personality to please a guy and to keep him. You should speak to her and ask her if she realises it. If she does and she actually prefers the newer version of herself then that’s her choice. Religion itself is NOT a red flag. Alpha/HTB is also a very watered down version of CoE. There is nothing to worry about and tbh it’s pretty rude and judgmental to suggest otherwise.

keffie12 · 12/12/2021 18:05

YABU - Do you know how much the Christian Church in this country does for people for example?

The Trussel group (Foodbanks)
CAP (Christians Against Poverty) debt support
Reflect (Crisis pregnancy supporr)
Dayspring (CBT therapy)
Working with rhe homeless, soup kitchens etc

Those 5 above are the main 5. There are alot more run by each churches who have there own ministries. They all work together under one umbrella.

Yes I'm a Christian who belongs to an unconventional independent Church. My beliefs are mine and not main stream.

Your going on all the negativity around it when there is so much good done at home and abroad.

My faith comes through mysticism of St Frances. My churches teaches its a personal relationship with a power greater than you.

I can understand some caution however you really have to know far more than untrue prejudices about the Christian faith. Its not a microwavable meal. This below sums it up.

If you start going on at your sister you will push her away from you. Yes there are fundamentalists in the church however the majority aren't like that.

This sums it up for me, below

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”—Herbert Spencer

Alex31op · 12/12/2021 18:06

Please don’t worry, I’ve been on Alpha. There is no pressure, no one is trying to convert anyone, it is just a place where you can ask questions freely and openly. You can walk away or explore it further if you wish. It’s very safe, nothing sinister at all.

Mamajeet112 · 12/12/2021 18:08

I did the Alpha course a few years ago. You get a meal, get to know some people, discuss Christianity and try to figure out if it's for you. As some other people on this chat have said, there is no pressure at all. You can check it out on www.htb.org

keffie12 · 12/12/2021 18:10

Forgot to add the Alpha course has been updated in the last 10 years as it was very much a 70s/80s type base before. I did the old one and very much told them I didn't agree with the week on sexuality and why. It didn't stop me doing the course nor having my own beliefs. If it was a cult people wouldnt be allowed to leave and would be coerced which doesn't happen

pollymere · 12/12/2021 18:12

My friend created the Alpha Course. It is very much about exploring Christianity rather than trying to convert people. My only concern would be that sometimes people get swept up with a desire to belong to evangelical churches. Just as it wouldn't be right for your sister to be pressured into baptism, neither is it right for her to do it to be part of the community.

Ellie474747 · 12/12/2021 18:15

Maybe she has decided she wants to follow religion herself, you will find the Church of England is not cultish at all, like other religions you will have some that use it as extremism but I have never had this experience with going to an Christianity church in the U.K the alpha course was lovely and quite inspiring. Like others have said it is quite light in terms of teachings.

Lilymossflower · 12/12/2021 18:16

If there are other red flags in the relationship, like the ones you mentioned (they are definitely red flags !)
Then I would see this as an additional reg flag in the whole picture.

angela99999 · 12/12/2021 18:16

Don't worry, as others have said it isn't a cult, just mainstream Christianity. I'm not religious but see nothing wrong with living your life this way, many people find it gives their lives structure and that it gives them comfort when times are hard.