To be so upset I’ve been denied leave to attend a funeral

[Purplehighlighters]

I’m quite shocked about this and really upset … not even sure why I’m posting but a bit stunned.

@KeepApart

I just want to say this is not normal for schools. Both my parents are teachers and have worked in a number of schools, never been denied leave for a funeral.

Over their now 30+ year career there have been a few funerals to attend. Fortunately funerals of friends are not regular occurances

This is shitty behaviour, and shitty management. I'm sorry OP.

My best friend since childhood wasn't allowed leave to attend my Dad's funeral over 20 years ago when there was no pandemic causing staff shortages. He was like a 2nd Dad to her but the head still refused. The school had an 'immediate family only' policy. I have lots of teacher friends and a common complaint (one of many!) is not being allowed to attend funerals .

If I worked for a company who did this I would be looking for a new job asap. Not as easy as a teacher because most policies would be the same but I wouldn't be going to work regardless. I'd be off sick.

I don't have any family so if a close friend of mine died it would be the equivalent for me. Like hell would I be justifying whether said person is worthy of missing work for

How would you feel about going back to your head and saying that you’ve been thinking about the situation and it’s very important that you do go to the funeral. You are letting them know that you WILL be going (you’re not asking for their permission) so they can cover your lesson.
What do you realistically think they might do in that scenario? Would they make it a disciplinary matter? How would you feel about being given a formal warning? My gut feel is that they wouldn’t do it as they would look heartless.
I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you can find a solution.

If I couldnt get leave for funerals, this would make me leave teaching if I was a teacher. Funerals are very important.

I'm sorry about your friend passing op and I'm really sorry about your shitty head not allowing you time to go to their funeral.
I've been in teaching and heard of this happening, so I would always advise faking a sick day rather than risk asking if you work for that sort of head.
(Of course that's much more work providing cover for all your classes - but funerals are really important and a luckily rate occurrence usually)

Are you happy with your job in general?

It is really cold to refuse 1 hour leave for a funeral. I know you have a class to teach but you are still a person.

I'd be wondering if I should start looking for a new job.

purplehighlighters

I have to say I’m finding this tremendously disrespectful. It’s worse than the Head

On MN there is little sympathy for teachers. Sorry for your loss. It's a shame you can't go out for a couple of hours. As others have said, just work to rule now. If they want you to help out in your free or do extra interventions then you will have to be busy.

I also agree that since the academisation of schools things have changed a lot. I wonder where all the money is going?

[quote girlmom21]@Purplehighlighters you can go to the grave/cemetery and pay your respects without attending the funeral [/quote]
Most funerals don't have a grave these days...for a cremation there's nowhere to go.

@converseandjeans I also agree that since the academisation of schools things have changed a lot. I wonder where all the money is going? I can't work out if you are genuinely asking a question or being sarcastic, but in case it is a question there's this info here - www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/education/2021/mar/20/english-secondary-school-headteachers-among-best-paid-in-the-world

@Purplehighlighters I'm a teacher and all I can say is that your head is a shit bag.

I'd try and find friendly cover for the hour. Can you find out if any non SLT are free for the hour?

If not I'd have no qualms about getting signed off for a few days with stress. Schools shouldn't be like this.

I knew you’d be a teacher.

I’ve been teaching for 22 years. When my dad died I had one day off for his funeral. No other leave.

This week Mr P shared on his podcast that a Head who had arranged to go to a close family member’s funeral found out that Ofsted were coming in. She also had staff off with covid. She asked for the visit to be deferred and they refused. She went to the funeral, did her reading and then returned to school.

She just find it ironic that with all the importance of mental health - especially pupil well being - we teachers are at the bottom of the pile.

(Sorry for your loss 💐)

@motherrunner

I knew you’d be a teacher.

I’ve been teaching for 22 years. When my dad died I had one day off for his funeral. No other leave.

This week Mr P shared on his podcast that a Head who had arranged to go to a close family member’s funeral found out that Ofsted were coming in. She also had staff off with covid. She asked for the visit to be deferred and they refused. She went to the funeral, did her reading and then returned to school.

She just find it ironic that with all the importance of mental health - especially pupil well being - we teachers are at the bottom of the pile.

I knew you'd be a teacher too.

So sorry.

philandbill

I can't work out if you are genuinely asking a question or being sarcastic, but in case it is a question there's this info here

Yes sorry I was being a bit sarcastic - it’s pretty depressing & in our trust we have many extra people up top & yet no money for basic teaching tools like board pens. We taught fine (better actually as we had more frees & better resources) without a load of highly paid execs.

@Purplehighlighters

I know that the papers make out the unions are really powerful and militant but the best they do is agree a bland reference for you when you get managed out.

This, exactly. I think powerful teaching unions are a thing of the past.

I'm a teacher (almost 40 years now) and I echo what pp have said. It's funerals of immediate family only and getting any kind of leave is impossible. This has been made worse by the pandemic, we've got a lot of staff off, and there aren't enough supply teachers. I think it's a shame for an hour, but they always argue about emergencies - what if someone was taken ill etc. Rough though.

@Tee20x

One hour?!

I'd be going anyway if I'm honest. Others can say what they like but there is no way my place of employment would be telling me I can't attend a loved ones funeral.

Just goes to show how much they value you if I'm honest. It's crap.

This is the whole problem with how teachers are viewed. They can’t simply walk out on children. They don’t have access to ‘annual leave’ , after all, ‘ with all the holidays they get’!

That's it, @skodadoda, you cannot leave classes unsupervised.
It's tough, even more so at the moment. There is no flexibility at all.

I think a few people don’t understand.

If I lied and said I had to isolate and was found out not only could I be sacked for gross misconduct but I could also be removed from the teaching registration body.

@lanthanum

Similarly, I heard about a school where a member of staff died. They'd worked at the school for donkeys' years and didn't have much family. Staff were not happy that the head wouldn't close for the funeral to allow staff to attend. In the end the funeral wasn't until half-term. Two staff attended.

Are you implying (in this case that you’ve “heard of” but seem to know all the details) that the staff wanted to go to a funeral for a jolly away from work?

Don’t lie
Ridiculous advice

How close is the friend?

If I lied and said I had to isolate and was found out not only could I be sacked for gross misconduct but I could also be removed from the teaching registration body.

I’m not advocating that you lie- you are stressed and entitled to go sick.

However, this is hyperbole - getting struck off is a long, arduous process and during the investigation all circumstances are looked at. I just don’t believe you would be struck off for this against an otherwise good record. Can you point to any real world examples of this?

The panic and anxiety evident in your posts tells me you need a chat with your gp. You do have options don’t let them make you feel as though you don’t.

@StoneofDestiny

No - it may not be relevant to OP's case and nobody on here was referred to directly or indirectly. The point was about funeral leave in schools and made to illustrate that making provision for teachers to attend funerals is difficult (the rule is generally close family only, and an exception for 1 can open cans of worms down the line).Sometimes, as at least 2 cases on this thread show, when alternative ways of showing your sympathy are shown, they are not taken. If I was the Head in OP's case (I'm not a Head), I'd take the class myself or delegate a SLT member to do so, as they are only asking for 1 hour.

My headteacher, well to be fair all the heads at the schools I've worked at) would happily organise cover AND encourage/suggest that they can take longer than an hour, as they are supportive people who know the toil a funeral of a loved one, including friends, can bring. They'd certainly be suggesting more than an hour might be needed.

I'm so sorry OP, what an arsehole your head sounds - so unfair

I'm so sorry. Its not a solution but are you in a position to get another job at the earliest opportunity then tell the head you're leaving due to him refusing to allow you to go to a funeral.