Does anyone else have a cat who fails at being a cat?

[RocketPanda]

Moggy managed to catch a cooled hot water bottle drag it to the top of the stairs and subsequently fell down whilst still holding onto it. Did not let go, did not fall on his feet. Had surgery yesterday and all going fine. Its not the first time he's done himself a mischief because he cannot cat properly. He was cleaning himself whilst sitting on the patio furniture, toppled and broke his tail last year. If he sees a mouse he just meows wistfully at it.

I used to have 3 cats.
1 was a proper cat, could cat for England. His sister on the other hand, fell asleep and tumbled off the sofa head first in to a pint of water as a kitten, good job I was there to pull her out, ran head first into the garden gate and knocked herself out, got her tail trapped in the gate, brought me daffodil heads and follwed me to the pub, jumped on the bar and made herself at home.
I then was acquired by another cat (cruelty case). Would have nothing to do with me just appeared for tea. Stole hair bands, tea spoons and small change and stashed it in the attic. Fell utterly and completely in love with DH when he moved in ☺. I do miss them

My two Dcat are having a Xmas truce - they’ve forgotten how much they hate each other because it’s chilly and the tartan Xmas rugs are out!

My cat drags things through the cat flap as a gift which I know he hasn't killed himself. Last one wass half rotted pigeon avec maggots that 8d seen my neighbours cat kill previously.

Yep, had one of those. He used to play on the bannisters at the top of the stairs and fell off. Landed fine. Did it agin the next day, broke his leg.

The current one is very special . Will eat anything off the floor (like a dog), including cheesy wotsists, pieces of thread or wool etc and then vomit them up , generally on carpet, a few hours later.
She also does this thing when she sees you she throws herself to the floor in total adoration. Which is lovely but somewhat precarious when she's on top of a high fence, or the top of the stairs. She just falls off. Idiot. We love her so much though

Oh I forgot to add that current cat head it's furniture. It makes an audible thumping sound, and she looks a bit dazed and then does it again.

I love all of these daft cat tales.

Mine climbs the apple tree and falls into the birdbath underneath it most days!!! He climbs up to box at the few apples left on it😁🐱🐈 then cries at the door because he is wet!

When I was fostering I had a pair, one a beautiful white lady cat who was always dignified and a small all black male who didn't know he was a cat.

Black male (BM) made it his mission to escape, he ran up the fence and onto the roof (bungalow) and then cried to be got down, but wanted to be got down without being touched.

We nicknamed him, 'the joey cat' as he was pretty but dumb.

He almost caught a spider, my friend lifted him up, he put his paw on the spider, then moved it to check and the spider scuttled away.

I had a pretty bed cover, he would wrap himself in it until it looked like a bolster.

I had a sofa bed and a friend stayed, friend put the bed back into a sofa configuration and then we heard BM wailing from inside.

FW cat would just look at him with disdain.

I think the only time they interacted was when we took them to their new home (the same owners, had not been able to take them into temporary accommodation but had got a house) they got out of their carriers and saw........ stairs.

The just ran up and down the stairs mewing at each other.

My DBoycat is uncatlike apart from being quite aloof and a bit of a fussy eater. He doesn't see well so has never caught anything. He has never climbed, he runs oddly, he doesn't like heights, he doesn't sit on your lap and doesn't like a fuss. He can be temperamental and demanding. He is a gorgeous older boy and can be sweet.

Killing a spider seems to be surprisingly tricky for cats, I have often watched mine trapping and pouncing on the tiniest spider but it getting away. Maybe it's a case of 4 legs good, 8 legs better. My cat has a wide range of sounds from baby crying to deep , don't-dare-take- my- mouse-from-me growls, to territorial yowls but he cannot purr. He does not make a sound when he lets me stroke and pet him yet I can feel the vibration in his throat.

I'm loving these soooo much 🤣🤣🤣 I do have a cat, but he's actually very good at catting - went out the front door this morning to find a dead rat 🙈🙈🙈 Thank goodness he's given up bringing his presents through the cat flap now though - that's really gross.

Oh actually - just thought of something my cat does that is quite amusing - if hes out and I go for a walk, he will follow me but run in front of me and then turn around and hiss at ME for following HIM 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂 I once abandoned my car just off my estate due to traffic and he came all the way with me and I ended up having to give him a loft back as I wasn't sure if he had roamed there before 😂😂

ive got a cat with special needs

hes 12 soon and just not all there, been that way since birth.
hes a bit cross eyed and odd
hes a good cat though just not "normal "when it comes to other cats

its mad as my ex and 2 boys have disabilities as well

I have 3 cats, all of them aged 5. Two of them are really efficient hunters and regularly bring mice and birds (and rabbits) into our conservatory. The third cat, a male, is completely inept. He catches a mouse but then doesn’t know what to do with it. He lets it go and it hides from him, leaving him baffled. He reminds me of Tom from Tom and Jerry.

The mice always end up being caught by one of our other cats.

Tom (not really his name) is a very affectionate cat, though, following us around everywhere and watching what we do. He’s even tolerant of my DD2 (9), who constantly wants to pick the cats up and cuddle them.

I remember a thread on here, a few years ago, about the things MNers cats have caught and tried to bring in through the catflap - next door's Yorkshire terrier was a highlight, and also a big bird - maybe a pheasant!

I've found my people! Mad cat lady here so loved reading all these posts about your hilarious cats!
My old cat Frank was so shit at being a cat. He actually lived next door to us, but the woman was really shouty so he moved himself in with us. They named him aptly though after Frank Spencer because he was just so stupid. He was hilarious to watch trying to walk along a fence! He had big goofy teeth and looked like Hitler. Our own cat accepted him in to our house and tried to teach him how to cat. She would bring moths inside and Frank would be terrified if they moved near him. He would then pretend he had killed the moth once it was already dead and would stalk around thinking he was well hard! He used to sleep on the grid in the garden and if dogs barked at him he'd see that as a sign to go right up to them! I miss that floofy thicko!

My cat now, well she's a true beauty, a real mummy's girl but tbh she struggles to cat. The most hard-core hunting she's managed to date is a woodlouse. She just likes to bring in feathers and the odd leaf and she's always so proud of herself! We have a microchip activated cat flap, when she stands next to it it makes a click to open and then she can walk out...in theory that is. In reality she stands there for bloody ages with the sodding thing keep clicking because she's so stupid she forgets every day how it works!

@PurpleNebula84

Oh actually - just thought of something my cat does that is quite amusing - if hes out and I go for a walk, he will follow me but run in front of me and then turn around and hiss at ME for following HIM 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂 I once abandoned my car just off my estate due to traffic and he came all the way with me and I ended up having to give him a loft back as I wasn't sure if he had roamed there before 😂😂

Chauffeur for a cat! Loved that!

The smaller the cat, the larger the prey IMO.

Many years ago one of mine, a tiny ball of fluff, would bring home dead pheasants and hares twice the size she was.

Medium sized cat - baby rabbits, robins, frogs, stoats, and once, a mole. That, unfortunately, was still alive and made the most god-awful mess in the garden until she caught it again and finished the job.

One of my current overlords, the biggest fattest one, catches butterflies.

Although, having said all that, another big boy who currently goes under the name of Dickhead, was sitting in the front garden yesterday lunchtime staring intently upwards at his potential prey and waiting to pounce. At a red kite, which was circling overhead. It was similarly looking down at him.