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AIBU?

Collection for the boss... inappropriate?

294 replies

Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:30

Always, always buy my whole team Xmas gifts. Just a bottle of wine or something but to say thanks.

As a senior manager however, and in my view well paid despite long hours, I do not expect or wish to receive one (public sector)

We've had a new director for TWO MONTHS who has recruited one of his previous employees into team, this month. Email from new starter yesterday sharing his Bacs details to all the staff (many of whom on a quarter of the director salary) saying it's nice if we do a bit of Xmas appreciation and collect for the boss...

I have contributed and said to my team I'll put their shares in as team contribution as I am so conscious many of them struggling - but isn't this just really not recognising the situation of some people? Dear people on 20k please donate to buy someone on 120k a gift?

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Wormsarecool · 09/12/2021 06:32

That’s pretty awful. You sound a great and considerate team leader.

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catfunk · 09/12/2021 06:33

Yeah I'd just have said you don't do that there and nobody will be contributing as they're all underpaid as it is

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FatOaf · 09/12/2021 06:33

The boss (or the boss's toady) expects a gift from his staff? Is his name Kim Jong-un?

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toomuchfaster · 09/12/2021 06:34

No, no, no! Gifts flow down and anything else is tone deaf, even more so in this economy. There is a website called Ask A Manager and she discusses the topic much more eloquently than I can under the heading 'Boss' day'.

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Shoxfordian · 09/12/2021 06:34

Yeah gifts should flow downwards not upwards unless it’s a secret Santa where everyone gets a present. I think you should have a word saying it’s not really appropriate

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PlumManor · 09/12/2021 06:35

I would have refused

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Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:36

I am glad it's not just me. I don't have the guts to provide feedback, I did try gently and didn't land! Will look at that site, thanks

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PooWillyNameChange · 09/12/2021 06:38

I think you need to call it out as inappropriate. After 8 weeks, if he's made such a stellar impact, let people "recognise" him of their own free will.

Director also might not know about this and be embarrassed by it! Like you I never expect anything from those reporting into me. In the same way if we go for a coffee I always pay but will let a Partner or Director pay for me if they insist. I thought these were rules everyone adhered to!

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PooWillyNameChange · 09/12/2021 06:39

Also I LOVE Ask A Manager. Especially the crazy stories.

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KatherineJaneway · 09/12/2021 06:39

I've just received an email suggesting similar. I pressed the delete button. Really like the person but signing an online card is about as much as I'd do.

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ItsSnowJokes · 09/12/2021 06:41

Nope, nope, nope. I would not be donating in any way, shape or form. Managers give the gifts, employees do not.

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EishetChayil · 09/12/2021 06:42

Develop some guts and stand up for your team!

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Alieninmybody · 09/12/2021 06:43

Can you nip it in the bud and explain that's not something that's done in your place of work?

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Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:43

@EishetChayil I tried, got nowhere, and instead paid their share.

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QueenJeanie · 09/12/2021 06:43

Totally inappropriate

I agree with PP - I would call this out and put a stop to it

It's wrong on so many levels and will create a lot of bad feeling

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Tanfastic · 09/12/2021 06:44

No I wouldn't contribute. As a band 3 NHS worker slogging my guts out for a measly wage I'd be mightily pissed off being asked to do this.

You sound like a really nice person op.

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Drivingish · 09/12/2021 06:44

Definitely excruciatingly tone deaf and very toady of the new starter, gifts should always flow down. Whoever is above the director should be the one showing the appreciation and when there's no-one above you then lucky you, buy yourself a present.

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Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:45

@Alieninmybody I did, but response was " no I disagree it should flow both ways". None of the other seniors at my level argued so I'd already gone out of my way more, and paid on behalf of my staff, am thinking anymore and I'll be marked out as the pain one. And yes I appreciate I should have more balls but I'm already the only one trying!

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DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 09/12/2021 06:45

@FatOaf

The boss (or the boss's toady) expects a gift from his staff? Is his name Kim Jong-un?

😂😂😂

They all have to get the same haircut too.

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Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:47

@Tanfastic I absolutely agree. Especially currently it is so so tough out there. Thanks for what you do

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Nothinbut · 09/12/2021 06:47

Yeah it's weird! We've always just done secret santa and people can opt on or not, including the managers.

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3luckystars · 09/12/2021 06:48

If you are not there next year, they will screw money out of your team. You have to speak up. Good luck x

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CloudyStorms · 09/12/2021 06:56

Maybe discuss it at the start of December next year?

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Practicebeingpatient · 09/12/2021 06:58

@catfunk

Yeah I'd just have said you don't do that there and nobody will be contributing as they're all underpaid as it is

I agree you should have queried this. By going along with it you may have set a precedent.

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Warblerinwinter · 09/12/2021 07:15

As part of secret Santa it’s fine boss is included …but otherwise no.actually collections for Xmas presents is a no generally.
As a boss I did not get gifts for my team-i didn’t choose to be a boss though and I wasn’t going to spend my money (not a massive salary) on gifts if the company wasn’t going to pay me back- why? My team weren’t my friends, I work to earn money . But, I did organise the secret Santa, and baked /bought the nibbles etc and non alcoholic drinks to make a bit of a”do” out of the secret Santa, that was enough to show my appreciation as well as thanking people sincerely throughout the year and fighting their corner for pay rises and promotions

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