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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Collection for the boss... inappropriate?

294 replies

Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:30

Always, always buy my whole team Xmas gifts. Just a bottle of wine or something but to say thanks.

As a senior manager however, and in my view well paid despite long hours, I do not expect or wish to receive one (public sector)

We've had a new director for TWO MONTHS who has recruited one of his previous employees into team, this month. Email from new starter yesterday sharing his Bacs details to all the staff (many of whom on a quarter of the director salary) saying it's nice if we do a bit of Xmas appreciation and collect for the boss...

I have contributed and said to my team I'll put their shares in as team contribution as I am so conscious many of them struggling - but isn't this just really not recognising the situation of some people? Dear people on 20k please donate to buy someone on 120k a gift?

OP posts:
Nevertime · 09/12/2021 08:08

I have, in the past, reminded the big boss that over half the staff earn less than 1/3 of what she does, when she's pushing various charity things (that are voluntary but don't always feel voluntary). Even she'd be horrified to have the money going to her though.

You need to stop it, not perpetuate it.

Delphinna · 09/12/2021 08:10

That is shocking. I would be fine with a small token gift such as everyone putting in £1 for a box of chocolates. But certainly not a significant amount. How much are they asking for? Honestly I would refer this to HR.

MoltenLasagne · 09/12/2021 08:13

I am honestly so appalled this has happened. It sounds like the director has a large number of subordinates. Even if they all gave a pound (and it sounds like a lot more is expected...) that's a large present compared to the usual work Christmas santa.

Cuck00soup · 09/12/2021 08:13

The key point here is that this is public sector, meaning gifts and Christmas parties are paid for by employees and not the company.

Employees should absolutely not expected to contribute to a present for a Director, especially when instigated by their arselicker in chief in a vain attempt to make themselves look good.

RJnomore1 · 09/12/2021 08:14

@K1ran

As you mentioned you are public sector, its actually against policy for managers to accept gifts, even teas and coffees from lower ranking team members.
I agree with the thread about this being off but I don’t think this is entirely accurate.

It may have been a policy somewhere you worked but our director had a big birthday recently and we, as the Senior Management Team, clubbed together to get him a gift. He’s the finance director and the SMT includes our internal auditor so Id put money on it being fine. They’re two of the most forensic and moral people I know.

That’s entirely different from asking the whole directorate to chip in though we all work closely with him and get paid decent amounts.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/12/2021 08:18

How bizarre! I've never heard of an office collecting for the boss (except for retirement present, and that would normally only be senior colleagues).

This is not just odd, it will lead to resentment (and I suspect the boss would be horrified if they knew) - I would talk to HR on that basis if I were you.

GrapefruitsAreGreat · 09/12/2021 08:21

That's totally bizarre. I would not have contributed. I've been at place where there was a Christmas collection for the cleaner (as the lowest paid person). More senior staff have sometimes contributed towards Christmas lunch, or small presents. That's the normal approach to gifts.

I've been asked to contribute to a leaving gift for someone who was paid over £100,000 and felt a bit weird about it when I earn a lot less- but it was completely optional - and they had worked with us for years. I decided to just sign the card.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2021 08:21

I actively refused to put in for a gift for a senior manager orchestrated by one of his deputies. It wasn't even about affording it I am very highly paid, it was the principle. I sat next to one of the PAs who was probably on 20% of the senior manager's salary (well over £300K pa plus bonus) and we both said no together unless the managers wanted to share their salaries with us.

Management on that team lived in a self congratulatory bubble and were so busy slapping each other on the back they had lost touch with reality.

Valeriekat · 09/12/2021 08:21

That is just awful! What boss in their right mind would even accept a gift from people earning so much less than them. Do you work for a British company?

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 09/12/2021 08:24

Sod that.

Thehop · 09/12/2021 08:25

“I have contributed on behalf of the staff on team A/my team. We don’t usually do this so it came as a surprise. Next year, we would like to be excused from a group collection please. We’re happy to join in a company wide secret Santa.”

HelloDaisy · 09/12/2021 08:30

Doesn’t bode well for the future in your company that they have been there such a short amount of time and are already expecting a reward from employees. What will they expect next year?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2021 08:31

I work in the City and the general unwritten rules seem to be

  • Teams or managers buy for the PAs
  • Team gifts would be a Secret Santa with a sensible £10-15 limit so it's about a fun gift rather than an expensive one
  • Managers bring in cakes etc around Xmas
  • If the team is paying for an Xmas lunch the PA and any interns or other low paid staff are paid for by the team
Fallagain · 09/12/2021 08:32

[quote Littlejuice]@Alieninmybody I did, but response was " no I disagree it should flow both ways". None of the other seniors at my level argued so I'd already gone out of my way more, and paid on behalf of my staff, am thinking anymore and I'll be marked out as the pain one. And yes I appreciate I should have more balls but I'm already the only one trying![/quote]
The only reply to this is “We will have to agree to disagree”. Or just not reply. Not replying is an easy answer.

Tinsellittis · 09/12/2021 08:33

@Wormsarecool

That’s pretty awful. You sound a great and considerate team leader.
This
BertramLacey · 09/12/2021 08:35

We've had a new director for TWO MONTHS who has recruited one of his previous employees into team, this month. Email from new starter yesterday sharing his Bacs details to all the staff (many of whom on a quarter of the director salary) saying it's nice if we do a bit of Xmas appreciation and collect for the boss...

I'm not sure I understood this right. So you have a new director, and a new less senior person? If I call them director and toady, respectively, toady is organising a collection for the director? And sent out his (own or the director's? ) bank details? Are you sure toady won't just buy one massive present and claim it's solely from him? Or that the director is aware that gifts should go down, not up, and this is a work around the two of them have cooked up?

I'd be going through your organisation's policies on gifts with a fine-tooth comb and if necessary, flag up the relevant sections. Sure, I'm cynical, but this is indicative of quite nasty and arrogant attitudes.

DirtyDancing · 09/12/2021 08:36

Since when have junior staff been asked (made to feel they have to) to contribute to gifts for senior managers/ staff? Never, ever heard of that one before.

Usually it's the other way round. At least a few drinks at the Xmas party. I'm public sector worker on average pay. I stumped up Xmas gifts (gift cards) last year in a virtual team Xmas party for my team. Spent £75. And I am not even that senior!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/12/2021 08:38

That's pretty disgraceful behaviour from the toady.

But in all honesty, you should have been firmer, no matter how difficult you found it - just said "no, that's not what we do here" and refused.

It was nice of you to put the team share in but are you going to do that every year from now on?

WhatTimeIsItMrGinola · 09/12/2021 08:39

It is quite sad that you only contributed for fear of being classed as a "pain" if you didnt.

If you did say something as your post says, but it wasn't really heard, then you should have repeated it in stronger language until you were heard!

The toady has now successfully set the precedent and you have (albeit unwillingly) enabled this

MandalaYogaTapestry · 09/12/2021 08:40

FWIW, in our office we chip in for gifts for each other AND for our director. The director always contributes way more of course. But we are paid enough and are happy to do it.

Chocoqueen · 09/12/2021 08:42

@K1ran

As you mentioned you are public sector, its actually against policy for managers to accept gifts, even teas and coffees from lower ranking team members.
Yeah, so that's bollocks. I've been a CS for years and whilst seniors do get more rounds in, I've definitely brought for those more senior if I'm the one going to the bar/coffee shop.
notanothertakeaway · 09/12/2021 08:43

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

That's pretty disgraceful behaviour from the toady.

But in all honesty, you should have been firmer, no matter how difficult you found it - just said "no, that's not what we do here" and refused.

It was nice of you to put the team share in but are you going to do that every year from now on?

Agree with this, and other managers may feel under pressure to donate on behalf of their team

I think you meant well, but would have been better to decline to donate

Nomorepies · 09/12/2021 08:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Candleabra · 09/12/2021 08:44

This is bad.
Reminds me of when I was working as a temp years ago and there was a Xmas collection for the manager, ‘only £10’. I was on a fiver an hour so that was a lot to me.
I hesitated about contributing but they basically stood over me til I paid it. They were horrible to temps in that organisation too. I wish I’d had the balls to say no, but I was very young, and there was definitely a bullying culture.
Problem was, after that, it was a collection every week for someone’s birthday, new baby etc.

DomPom47 · 09/12/2021 08:44

I remember the days when an envelope would be left with a card. Sending bank details makes it quite clear who hadn’t paid and I think that’s the intention to somewhat make people feel they have to contribute even if they can’t afford to or simply don’t want to. I think you sound lovely and kind and are taking one for the team to make a contribution on their behalf but this newbie is way out of line. The newbie could have just sent a card round and bought a bottle for the boss on everyone’s behalf if they had any sensibility.

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