Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Collection for the boss... inappropriate?

294 replies

Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:30

Always, always buy my whole team Xmas gifts. Just a bottle of wine or something but to say thanks.

As a senior manager however, and in my view well paid despite long hours, I do not expect or wish to receive one (public sector)

We've had a new director for TWO MONTHS who has recruited one of his previous employees into team, this month. Email from new starter yesterday sharing his Bacs details to all the staff (many of whom on a quarter of the director salary) saying it's nice if we do a bit of Xmas appreciation and collect for the boss...

I have contributed and said to my team I'll put their shares in as team contribution as I am so conscious many of them struggling - but isn't this just really not recognising the situation of some people? Dear people on 20k please donate to buy someone on 120k a gift?

OP posts:
RobinPenguins · 09/12/2021 08:44

I’ve worked in the public sector for 15 years and have never been expected to contribute to a Christmas present for the boss. It’s not a thing in places I’ve worked (and rightly, it is a ridiculous idea, tbh).

Ellen888 · 09/12/2021 08:45

Outrageous Shock

Don't let this set a precedent and do allow this next year.

daisydoh · 09/12/2021 08:45

That's really weird to do a collection. For the boss, YANBU

BorsetshireBanality · 09/12/2021 08:45

The more people have the greedier they get. These types spend the department’s consumables budget on a “billy-big-balls executive chair”, then everyone else has to buy their own pens and post-it notes for the rest of the year.

Constellationstation · 09/12/2021 08:46

There's no way on God's earth that I would donate for a gift for my boss on his massive salary. He holds all the minions in absolute disdain anyway.

Like a PP said all of the people at the top where I work share the gifts out from clients between themselves.

edwinbear · 09/12/2021 08:51

YANBU OP. But mainly wanted to say what a lovely boss you are - huge, huge level of emotional intelligence, I wish you were my boss!

RealBecca · 09/12/2021 08:56

You tried to be considerate but id be pissed off if you paid on my behalf as id want ot known i chose not to contribute. I also think youve done it not to make waves and should have paid only for yourself if you wanted to, assuming director is senior to you and you were asked for a contribution. Not said you thought it was wrong and paid anyway! It would affect my confidence in you as a leader in all honesty.

I think you should have spoken with the director and explained it wasnt the culture in the office and then spoken to ypur team to say there was no pressure to contribute and you felt it was an inappropriate ask and have raised it.

MiniPumpkin · 09/12/2021 08:57

I’m not sure I feel comfortable with paying into this persons account, mind you I have done this before with people I trust. We have always got the boss a present, he’s obviously on more money than us but puts up with our crap all year 🤣 to put into context last year he got a scarf with was maybe a fiver from each of us so not much. Out of interest will he be buying gifts for the staff below him ? Our boss always gets us a small thing, last year it was a mini candle, sometimes he just brings biscuits in to keep us going. I don’t think it matters he has been there 8 weeks, and I would mind a small contribution. We recent had our head of department gain a more senior role at 140k, she worked for us for at least 10 years, she wasn’t leaving the company but would no longer be with us, people were up in arms about buying her a gift which I thought was extremely poor, we have an envelope where people just put money in.. whatever they want.. you often get coppers lol but it means people can put in what they can afford

FrappuccinoLight · 09/12/2021 08:58

The previous employee (‘friend’) that new boss recruited into team should buy his own personal gift for the new boss. Both of them on team less than 2 months and the junior one is being allowed to,dictate Christmas gift policy for the whole established team. Someone should have politely whispered in his ear the second the email came out and stopped him in his tracks. Very bad taste idea IMO.

artquejtion · 09/12/2021 08:59

Absolutely not on.

You, as a senior manager, should have had the courage to support your staff and explain to the new hire that this doesn't happen in your workplace.

Surprised you feel you had to pussyfoot around the new hire and then capitulate by putting in a contribution for everyone.

thamesriviera · 09/12/2021 08:59

I would report this to the 'Conflicts of Interest' manager or 'Counter Fraud/Anti Bribery' or whatever similar in your org - you can report this anonymously. NHS workers are not allowed to accept anything worth more than a promotional pen, so to hear that a new manager is (indirectly) asking for money from his staff is way out of order. Something very very wrong here. It's not too late to make a complaint, especially as you felt pressured to pay up. As others have said, gifts / ie contributions to office party etc should flow down from Managers not up. Nip this in the bud.

Uninterested · 09/12/2021 09:00

If I was one of your team I'd actually be pissed off with you paying in my behalf.
I wouldn't have contributed at as it sets a bad precedent
I don't like any gift giving at work tbh - bring in some cake when it your birthday and that id all apart from bereavement or retirement

Dragongirl10 · 09/12/2021 09:02

Whilst you sound like a great and generous fair boss, l think you have made a huge error paying for you team.

Its the principle here, you should quietly make a stand. If it were me l would say that l was not comfortable asking lower paid staff to contribute to a senior persons gift that it was inappropriate and that wouldn't happen from my team.

But l am blunt, and having mostly worked for myself have not had to worry about being fired or sidelined so l do have some sympathy.

Kuachui · 09/12/2021 09:10

i would be annoyed if i was scrimping and saving every month... and had to oay for someones gift who had no bill worries and could afford to go out and buy that gift themselves if wanted.

starrynight87 · 09/12/2021 09:14

No way, gifts should only flow down.

silverbubbles · 09/12/2021 09:17

As you are a snr manager then you should have simply pulled the new starter up on this and said it was not appropriate rather than just putting money in.

not sure why you did this?

Yaya26 · 09/12/2021 09:21

Is this a joke?

Yaya26 · 09/12/2021 09:21

Really can't understand why you donated.

Beseen22 · 09/12/2021 09:22

Absolutely 100% not. I have heard rumours of their being a fund at my work for the ward sisters Christmas gift. What am I buying them a gift for? Sitting in their office with the door shut, not organising enough staff, cancelling all training to keep us and patients healthy due to 'staffing' while we work through breaks stay late and take on all the covid risk?

Yaya26 · 09/12/2021 09:27

I'd prob have emailed straight back with laughing emojis saying great joke. For a weird moment there I actually thought you were in earnest.

Beachgirl33 · 09/12/2021 09:28

Hi I’m at Director level public sector, similar salary to your director. This is wholly inappropriate. I buy all my senior managers a gift at Christmas. I also make sure I buy all the PAs in our office a gift. This is not compulsory but just a show of appreciation from me for all their hard work and commitment especially over the pandemic.

I do not expect or want any gifts in return. I would be angry and very uncomfortable if any manager was doing this on my behalf.

For special birthdays we collect for everyone regardless of grade. I am part of the ‘gang’ so I routinely contribute and did also get a gift from the team for a recent big birthday. I’m fine with this as I regularly contribute generously for all special birthdays, weddings, retirements etc.

For my own CEO the directors clubbed together for a nice gift for his special birthday. We did not publicise this across the wider team I’d not expect junior staff to contribute. This would have been inappropriate in my opinion.

If I were you I would have pointed out how inappropriate this was and also alerted HR as I’m sure Trade Union colleagues will raise this at some point. If I was the director I would also want to be alerted to this so I could call a halt to it. Hope this helps x

Crunchymum · 09/12/2021 09:33

Only time we ever collected for manager was when they had a baby (and when they left) other than that then nope.

Did this person share their own bank info of the details of the "receiver" ?

I'd expect naff all after one or two months with a company, regardless of my position.

Popopopo · 09/12/2021 09:35

Speaking as a person on £20k, If someone suggested this at my place they would be laughed out of the office. They would literally be told to fuck off. The only time I've ever seen a collection for a senior manager was when a very well respected person was retiring. Christmas is not an appropriate time.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 09/12/2021 09:38

I worked for a big corporate company for over 10 years and we never once got the boss a present! The boss always got us a little gift each Christmas though from him personally. Either a bottle of something. voucher etc for all OUR hard work! I'd definitely not be buying the boss something!

BorsetshireBanality · 09/12/2021 09:42

Is the money to be paid into the crony’s or the bosses’s account.
Something fishy about that too!

Swipe left for the next trending thread