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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want husband to take kids out on Christmas Day

447 replies

RichmondMumof2 · 08/12/2021 18:03

whilst I prepare Christmas Lunch? Every year as year end approaches I ask DH to take the children out on Christmas Day from 11:00-13:30. My brother, sister in law and an elderly neighbour will all arrive at 13:30 for lunch. Christmas lunch for 7 takes focus.

The kids are 6 and 3 and have a preference to hang out with mummy. I have made this request every year for the past few years. The kids want me to play with them whilst I make a Christmas Lunch. This results in me ultimately denying every request for attention as I'm chopping / basting / stirring/ steaming the puddings or setting the table. It seems to me the obvious way to make most people happy. Kids go for a yomp round the park or to the playground and then come back hungry and ready to eat.

DH always says no as there is nowhere open or suggests they should be with me on Christmas Day. He doesn't drive so has limited options.

One year we tried a Cook Christmas lunch to take the work off but I feel I want to cook a nice meal. There is a lot to it and I actually enjoy cooking when not constantly interrupted.

I have offered that I'll take the kids out and return to a DH prepared Christmas Lunch for 7 on the table. This doesn't fly.

Am I alone on this and AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 08/12/2021 20:32

Whataday21

Dh would be thrilled at this excuse to go to the pub. The kids there normally just play together.”

Kids spending Christmas Morning in the pub? Seriously?

CSJobseeker · 08/12/2021 20:36

Yes - the pub on Xmas day usually has a nice family atmosphere ime

LostForIdeas · 08/12/2021 20:37

@MrsSkylerWhite

nellly

“Ask for the 2.5 hours spread over 2 days, he could easily take them some lovely places Christmas Eve for 2 hours and you could have virtually everything pre prepared ready, then he can take them out for an extra half hour on Christmas Day so you don't have to be ignoring them and saying no as much“

Why the hell should he?

Do you require an empty house every time you cook?

Why the hell shouldn’t he?

I mean it’s only for one day in the year. It’s something that wouod be helpful to her. Why not doing something nice and caring for his life long partner of Christmas Day??

Is that too much to ask too??

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/12/2021 20:39

I mean it’s only for one day in the year. It’s something that wouod be helpful to her. Why not doing something nice and caring for his life long partner of Christmas Day??

Is that too much to ask too?“

Yes. It’s Christmas Day. Our kids wanted to be at home.

I happily occupied them while he cooked dinner.

It really is not a big deal.

timeisnotaline · 08/12/2021 20:39

@RichmondMumof2

Thank you all super mums out there.

I did laugh as the responses came in so came clean to DH. He is delighted that in general you agree I am mental.

X

Good luck all of us as we carry the load.

That’s a shame. After all, if you’re cooking and the dc are in the kitchen what does he do before his family arrive to be entertained? Leisurely coffee and the paper? My dh and I work just as hard as each other getting ready for something like Christmas.
Winterautumn · 08/12/2021 20:40

Get them scooters/bikes/go cart for their Christmas present, they want to play outside that’ll give you time . I can’t Understand why you’d want your family out for hours on Christmas Day most people would buy some pre prepared food or prep on Christmas Eve

crystal1717 · 08/12/2021 20:40

Christmas dinner doesnt need constant supervision.

timeisnotaline · 08/12/2021 20:41

@MrsSkylerWhite

I mean it’s only for one day in the year. It’s something that wouod be helpful to her. Why not doing something nice and caring for his life long partner of Christmas Day??

Is that too much to ask too?“

Yes. It’s Christmas Day. Our kids wanted to be at home.

I happily occupied them while he cooked dinner.

It really is not a big deal.

You occupied them while he cooked dinner? The ops dh neither occupies them or cooks and doesn’t want to take them out either. Who knows what he does while waiting for his family to come and eat the meal his wife has cooked? Your situation doesn’t compare.
bluesky45 · 08/12/2021 20:41

I think 11 til 1:30 is a bit long to he out at the park for. It would work if he is visiting somebody but like you say, nowhere is open and he doesn't drive so sounds like a park is his only option.
But he could definitely take them out for an hour of that time and home to chill out and watch a film before the guests arrive? I think this would mostly keep mine occupied, not fool proof but minimal disruptions.

AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 08/12/2021 20:43

This is where an 11am church service is really useful.
Seasonal, in the dry and around an hour of child free time.

Stopsnowing · 08/12/2021 20:45

What do you think most families do? Maybe a short walk if fine otherwise you cook and deal with your kids as a couple. It is just normal.

UniversalAunt · 08/12/2021 20:47

This year round, kids prefer Mum.
Therefore, Dad does Christmas Day lunch.
Mum helps Dad by taking kids off premises for a run round the park with some larks.
How Dad does logistics of Christmas Day lunch is up to him.

Maybe a dress rehearsal by Dad of festive scoff the Sunday before Christmas, you go out leave kids at home, so that he has realistic idea of the expectations looming may help improve/refine his culinary offerings &/or he wises up to why you don’t want the kids underfoot.

Electriq · 08/12/2021 20:47

YABU - 30 mins down the local park to burn off some steam maybe, but 2.5hrs on Christmas day, no.

Bluntness100 · 08/12/2021 20:49

You occupied them while he cooked dinner? The ops dh neither occupies them or cooks and doesn’t want to take them out either. Who knows what he does while waiting for his family to come and eat the meal his wife has cooked? Your situation doesn’t compare

Lol. Breathe, then read the thread, 🤪 she said he’s very hands on and does occupy them but they want mummy so she gives in.

Bluntness100 · 08/12/2021 20:49

@UniversalAunt

This year round, kids prefer Mum. Therefore, Dad does Christmas Day lunch. Mum helps Dad by taking kids off premises for a run round the park with some larks. How Dad does logistics of Christmas Day lunch is up to him.

Maybe a dress rehearsal by Dad of festive scoff the Sunday before Christmas, you go out leave kids at home, so that he has realistic idea of the expectations looming may help improve/refine his culinary offerings &/or he wises up to why you don’t want the kids underfoot.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Best one yet. Christmas at yours must be a blast.

Bluntness100 · 08/12/2021 20:50

@Stopsnowing

What do you think most families do? Maybe a short walk if fine otherwise you cook and deal with your kids as a couple. It is just normal.
Me and you both. But apparently some folks Christmas is like a military operation where it’s every man or woman for themselves.
LostForIdeas · 08/12/2021 20:52

she said he’s very hands on and does occupy them but they want mummy so she gives in.

If he was truly looking after them and entertaining them, they shouldn’t be near the OP though so she wouldn’t need to fend them off (or give in)

WarOnWoman · 08/12/2021 20:55

How about DH does the cooking and you play with the kids? Just a thought.

Jumpingintochristmas · 08/12/2021 20:56

Could he take them for an hrs walk then home for a nice bath and into fresh festive clothes?

elbea · 08/12/2021 20:57

Quite a few cinemas are open on Christmas Day, could he not take them to see a festive movie with some popcorn

ballroompink · 08/12/2021 20:58

I think him taking them out for an hour would be reasonable. Idk about all of you but my children would need to get out before lunch regardless of what day it is. DH is doing Christmas lunch this year and my PILs are going to take the DCs out for a bit.

Offmyfence · 08/12/2021 20:59

@ballroompink

I think him taking them out for an hour would be reasonable. Idk about all of you but my children would need to get out before lunch regardless of what day it is. DH is doing Christmas lunch this year and my PILs are going to take the DCs out for a bit.
Lovely!
Plopcorn · 08/12/2021 21:00

I wonder what single parents do?

birdglasspen2 · 08/12/2021 21:02

I love the "lay your table the day before comment", if I did that the 4 and 2 year old would have it relaid their way within minutes!

Prep beforehand and get him to the them out for an hour's fresh air. Surely on xmas day with new toys you'll not that be interesting to them!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/12/2021 21:02

I don’t think he should stay outside with them for 2.5 hours, but yes, he takes totally charge of them if you’re cooking. Or vice versa.

If the kids have a preference for mummy, him cooking seems the answer. But definitely one cooks, one looks after the kids.