To want husband to take kids out on Christmas Day

[RichmondMumof2]

whilst I prepare Christmas Lunch? Every year as year end approaches I ask DH to take the children out on Christmas Day from 11:00-13:30. My brother, sister in law and an elderly neighbour will all arrive at 13:30 for lunch. Christmas lunch for 7 takes focus.

The kids are 6 and 3 and have a preference to hang out with mummy. I have made this request every year for the past few years. The kids want me to play with them whilst I make a Christmas Lunch. This results in me ultimately denying every request for attention as I'm chopping / basting / stirring/ steaming the puddings or setting the table. It seems to me the obvious way to make most people happy. Kids go for a yomp round the park or to the playground and then come back hungry and ready to eat.

DH always says no as there is nowhere open or suggests they should be with me on Christmas Day. He doesn't drive so has limited options.

One year we tried a Cook Christmas lunch to take the work off but I feel I want to cook a nice meal. There is a lot to it and I actually enjoy cooking when not constantly interrupted.

I have offered that I'll take the kids out and return to a DH prepared Christmas Lunch for 7 on the table. This doesn't fly.

Am I alone on this and AIBU?

Let them help? I'm a single parent and that's what I do. Keeps them busy, gives them confidence, and allows me to get the work done.

That’s a bit sad tbh. Instead of enjoying Christmas Day with your children, they’ve to go out for so long? And your poor husband. You should be sharing the cooking

Even if he's not a great cook he can peel potatoes, carrots, parsnips, prep sprouts etc, get him to do all of the veg prep while you are with the children, then he plays a game/watches a film with them for an hour or so, maybe a trip to the park if it's nice while you do the actual cooking bits, they get the time with you they want.
We usually have carrot and swede mash (prepare in advance and freeze) cauliflower cheese cauli steamed and sauce done the day before, put it together keep in the fridge then it just needs to go in the oven. If you're doing pigs in blankets either buy them or make in advance same with stuffing, so then it's just the potatoes and parsnips to roast, sprouts to steam, and the meat, Turkey I prefer on the day but a gammon is fine cooked in advance or put it in in the morning when you're making breakfast. It's a roast once it's in it looks after itself to a large extent.

There's a Jamie Oliver programme on at the moment that shows you how to prep various bits beforehand so that on the day, you just whack things in the oven.

There's absolutely no need to empty the house on Christmas Day , at all, while you slave.
You don't even need to slave.

Prep beforehand, write your timings on a bit of paper, share time with your children and your partner can put stuff in the oven or on the hob.

If you are cooking, I agree that your DH should help entertain the children. Maybe a 20 minute walk then back home supervising their playing. He could also help prep the food.
But I'm not sure why it's taking 2 1/2 hours to make Christmas dinner? Look at some of the make ahead threads or start your own, listing your 2 1/2 hour time plan and I guarantee you could cut it down so you can spend more time with the family

Get the DC to set the table (with help from DH), they can make place cards if they want, my DN loves that stuff

An hour, yes. 2.5 hours, madness. As everyone else has said, you can prep most of it the the day before, and then have the kids either join in with helping on the day, or watching a film with their dad in another room.

Are you joking? Take the kids out in the freezing cold on Christmas morning ..for 2 and a half hours??? Why can't he amuse them inside with their z,Christmas toys, maybe put s Christmas film on after a while for some down time. Do as much prep as possible the day before op. Prep and peel all the veg. Set the table. Make the trifle. Have a shop bought Christmas pudding. If you need some peace to get on you could always send him out with the kids to watch a Christmas film on Christmas Eve afternoon. Then tea bath bed. Early of course when Santa Clause is coming. These are really special years op. Relax, have a glass of something together when you get them to bed on Christmas Eve but don't make the next day all about how perfect the dinner was. Get some help from DH but don't send him alone to a deserted play park or something for 2 and a half hours on Christmas day 💐

OP your children are only little for such a short period of time. In a couple of years time you will be begging them for 10 minutes worth of attention. Enjoy them whilst they are young, it will go in a second and you’ll regret not spending that time with them on Christmas Day.

2.5 hrs is ridiculous. Surely they can be occupied with their Christmas gifts and also the elder one is old enough to help with food prep?

@Chikapu

Seriously stop prioritising a meal over your husband's and children's comfort, it will be freezing hanging around somewhere outside just for the sake of it.

This.

Completely unreasonable to ask them to leave their house on Christmas day.

Unbelievable in fact.

Why is THEIR day being dictated by you cooking for others.

Stop it.

Tell them to bring a dish each.
Cut back on the meal.
Make it simpler.

Stop prioritising a meal ahead of a relaxing family day.

I think it is unfair on your husband to ask this of him.

Yes, you are. I’d have been extremely pissed off if my husband ejected us from the house whilst he cooked Christmas dinner.
Why can’t he play with them at home?

Yabu , it’s only a roast dinner , prepare loads in advance , and ask for help , and enjoy the day with your kids

You are being ridiculous, controlling and I'm actually very upset at the idea.

Those poor kids :(

Well yes we carry the load for the large part but 2.5 hours out of the house is bonkers lol at least you see that now

I'd like to offer some constructive suggestions though instead of just bashing you!

Would you consider any pre prepared sides? You can buy nice ones at the super market,

Ask for the 2.5 hours spread over 2 days, he could easily take them some lovely places Christmas Eve for 2 hours and you could have virtually everything pre prepared ready, then he can take them out for an extra half hour on Christmas Day so you don't have to be ignoring them and saying no as much

What on earth are you doing for 2 1/2 hours?

Stick turkey in the oven, chop veg.

Throw in pigs in blankets and Yorkshire puds - job done.

Kindly OP,

Don't have Christmas day regret.

The meal can happen any year, but the years that the children are excited by Santa are few, and they fly.

Don't waste them cooking.

I am a great cook and I took any and all short cuts on Christmas day that suited me and made it as relaxing as possible.

You don't owe anyone a fancy lunch.

You DO owe your children your attention on Christmas day.

I cooked a large chicken when mine were very small so as to make it as easy as possible for me.

Don't have regrets.

I'm glad you could see you were BU. 30 minutes to an hour would be fine, but 2 and a half hours is too long.
YANBU to expect your husband to entertain the children for that time though. I also agree with prepping beforehand and maybe looking into short cuts like already prepped veg and sides etc.

I'll just a yabu to this for the sake of it. Everyone else in the house can help you with dinner and/or entertaining the children. Shoo-ing them out of the house for two hours is totally NUTS.

Not unreasonable to want him to keep the kids entertained and out of your way but 2 and a half hours outside or in the car on Xmas day is a bit miserable. Compromise on an hours walk/ play at a park and then a board game or something to occupy them elsewhere in the house the rest of the time.

nellly

“Ask for the 2.5 hours spread over 2 days, he could easily take them some lovely places Christmas Eve for 2 hours and you could have virtually everything pre prepared ready, then he can take them out for an extra half hour on Christmas Day so you don't have to be ignoring them and saying no as much“

Why the hell should he?

Do you require an empty house every time you cook?

@RichmondMumof2 pubs are open. After opening presents in the morning we always pop down to our local for a drink or 2 for an hour or two. There is play equipment and patio heaters outside and it’s usually quite pleasant and not at all cold. Admittedly I only cook the veg as parents bring the meat when they come over in the afternoon.
Yanbu for asking him to take them out but yabu for taking on all the cooking by yourself. Who wants to spend all their kids christmases stuck in the kitchen? You only get about 11 of them before they lock themselves in their rooms all day. Make the most of it

Wow really, I’m a single mum and manage to cook dinner with my kids in the house and no partner to watch them, where on earth do you expect them to go for 2 and a half hours?! In the park or a walk in December for that long is unreasonable

It's heartbreaking.
2.5 hours shivering in an empty park on what is meant to be the happiest day of the year.
No playing with their new toys.
2.5 hours out of their short childs day, spent exiled from their home. On christmas day!

While you sit nice and warm, near an oven playing christmas music, and occasionally (once an hour?) basting a turkey for 2 mins. Turkey cooks itself ffs.

It's truly heartbreaking.

Dh would be thrilled at this excuse to go to the pub. The kids there normally just play together.