To think it's bad friend has taken 10 month old to the football tonight?

[wineislife21]

With no ear defenders, surrounded by a crowd of people, in this December weather?
She always says he still wakes her up at night.. but has no bedtime routine and then does stuff like this!?

In my book that is very wrong, won't be gone till gone 10pm!!

I cant agree with Rainbow, re abuse and the Arthur case, being any way related to this, with 'mind your own business'. I just can't see the link.

This thread is very odd. Loads of extremes.

All I know is my toes almost froze off the one time I sat through a football match, and that was a summer evening on the shady side!

I would be a little

Everyone minding their own business is how kids like Arthur get murdered by their parents without any intervention

What a ridiculous and insulting comment.
Taking a baby to a football match is in no way comparable to the abuse Arthur suffered. You should be ashamed to even write this.

It's not abuse
It's not neglect
It's not even poor parenting

@Magicalwoodlands

There is a word of difference between never taking young children anywhere in the cold and dark and a football match. A Christmas market is nothing like a football match.

What about a firework display?

@gersteddybears agree 100%. I'm in a similar position to you with 3 year old DS. I'd love to think that one day he'll be interested in going, but until then, DH and I take turns to use our season ticket.

It's part of an acceptance that when you have kids, your life changes and sometimes you can't do the things that you want because it's not appropriate.

I also don't even know where to begin with the poster who suggested bringing a pushchair to the match.... 🙈 Good luck with that!

But why is a football match not appropriate for children?

I’m imagining a baby in a baby carrier asleep on mum’s chest with a big coat around both of them and a big woolly hat with ear flaps. That would be fine in my opinion. The big woolly hat would protect against noise - not to the same extent as ear defenders but it would make a difference. Anyone who’s ever used a baby carrier in winter knows that it’s like having a huge hot water bottle attached to you. And mum would know immediately if baby was unhappy and needing to leave. As long as it’s an easy trip to the stadium and easy to leave early if necessary, and they have a reasonable plan for any surprise nappy explosions then this sounds fine to me. If it’s not a daily occurrence I don’t think it’s a big deal sleepwise but my kid was a terrible sleeper and trying to stick to a early bedtime routine was soul destroying because it didn’t make any difference, he was up 4 times a night at that age anyway. Baby inadequately dressed in a pram parked in the aisle crying but mum can’t hear it over the noise of the crowd and is possibly too focused on the football to notice that the pram in is the way of people moving - that sounds awful.

Yeah it's not something I would do but you'll get told to mind your business.

@OnceuponaRainbow18 why on earth are you using the murders of children to make your point?

Their deaths should not be used as a weapon to get people to agree with you. That's an abhorrent way to behave. You should be ashamed.

Did you offer to babysit OP?

If yes, then judge away.

If no, then politely keep your opinions to yourself.

[quote ABCeasyasdohrayme]@OnceuponaRainbow18 why on earth are you using the murders of children to make your point?

Their deaths should not be used as a weapon to get people to agree with you. That's an abhorrent way to behave. You should be ashamed.[/quote]
Well said and I totally agree.

For everyone scoffing at ear defenders, even a loud television is enough to damage baby’s ears. Their ear canals are so tiny what an adult finds reasonable can cause irreparable damage in their hearing. It’s often not picked up until adulthood and obviously by then it’s too late.

Ear defenders are cheap and a very simple solution.

@Tee20x

Ok and.... my 11 month old has just fallen asleep & will sleep until 9.30 tomorrow morning. Still gets enough sleep for her age.

Sorry to break it to you that not all babies are 7-7 angels :)

Quite!

You'd hate me, OP. My 11 month old comes up to bed with us, when we go. Before that, he's allowed to play or sleep... Whatever he wants really. He makes it very clear what he wants. Last night he wanted to sleep so he crawled over to me, asked to be picked up, then head butted my chest whilst making Tarzan noises, until I got a boob out for him.

Im sure your friend and her baby are very happy and healthy.

@SpinsForGin It completely depends on that age. My DB started going when he was about 8/9. He could understand what was going on, had a team he followed and actually got something from the experience. I go now with DH and people being school-age kids but I’ve never seen babies/toddlers there. Largely, I expect because it’s more trouble than it’s worth and pointless.

A baby won’t have a clue what’s going on, has no preference for which team and won’t get anything from it. Pushchairs wouldn’t be allowed in the ground and some of the facilities (as I said I’ve never seen baby changes) aren’t always the best.

Sorry to break it to you that not all babies are 7-7 angels :)

Yep. My DS was a terrible sleeper. I decided I could either sit in the house getting frustrated at the fact he wouldn't sleep or we could go out and do things knowing he would sleep when ready.

He's 7 now and a brilliant sleeper and is also great in many social situations because we took him everywhere with us!

Lazy, selfish parenting, and I would definitely judge them. It's not particilarly the fact it's at night, or the weather (although neither are ideal), but the thought of a ten month old being crammed in with hundreds of screaming football fans is horrible. They would have no idea what was going on, and totally unsettled, even if they were with their mother. Their poor little ears.

• particularly

@Bagamoyo1

Jesus the people saying it’s none of your business should be ashamed. It’s bad parenting. And bad parenting is everyone’s business. Have we learnt nothing from recent events? I know it’s not in the same league, but I truly believe if we didn’t have such a “none of my business” attitude, fewer children would suffer.

Did you serious just compare taking a kid to a football match to the torture Arthur Labinjo-Hughes went through?

It completely depends on that age. My DB started going when he was about 8/9. He could understand what was going on, had a team he followed and actually got something from the experience.
My DS is 7 and has been going since he was a baby. He's understood what's going on for years. He loves his trips to the football with his dad.

I go now with DH and people being school-age kids but I’ve never seen babies/toddlers there. Largely, I expect because it’s more trouble than it’s worth and pointless.

A baby won’t have a clue what’s going on, has no preference for which team and won’t get anything from it.

We only took DS during the toddler years if both of us were going because it was hard work. He starting going with just dad aged 4 and was fine.
I'm pretty sure people aren't taking babies because they're expecting them to support the team 😂😂😂 DH took DS as a baby when we had no childcare. He was portable in his baby carrier and it meant DH didn't miss matches when I was working.

Pushchairs wouldn’t be allowed in the ground and some of the facilities (as I said I’ve never seen baby changes) aren’t always the best.
I agree that pushchairs won't be allowed but you can make do with changing facilities. You can never guarantee that the changing facilities will be decent anywhere so you just go prepared 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Magicalwoodlands

Mumsnet has a bit of a strange view towards babies in general, I find. It’s true that tiny babies are portable and can fit in with what you’re doing within reason, but ten month olds don’t.

I don’t think that babies need to be tucked in at 7 on the dot and mine certainly isn’t. But being contained in s pushchair somewhere cold and loud at night isn’t great parenting and it’s stupid to pretend it doesn’t matter because it’s only a baby.

I agree. Mumsnet advise on babies is always bonkers. If I told my mum I was taking her grand daughter to a football match tonight, she'd probably call social services. No one I know would do this. People I know have their kids in bed in the evenings. Not sure why people on mumsnet are so intent on pretending that's strange or parochial in some way. Or indeed western ffs! I agree it's not abusive. But I would be alert to other signs in case it's part of a larger picture. This doesn't scream great parenting to me I'm afraid.

We started taking DS to ice hockey games when he was about 18 months old. In Canada, so we were out in -10C on the way there and back, and around 5C indoors during the matches. He loved it! Obviously wrapped up warm in a snow suit. Far more interested in the loud music, pyrotechnics, and mascots than the actual game play, but still had a great time. Loads of other kids there too.

I and the rest of Canada will await our visit from social services.

@SpinsForGin

Ours went everywhere with us, they didn't have a sitter or nursery until over 3 ... live sports, concerts, the opera, not set bed time and slept with us ... well adjusted adults now. Oh and dd sings opera professionally

Attachment parenting it used to be called

@AllesAusLiebe omg can u imagine 😂 you wouldn't even be allowed in. Where wld u put said pram.

For those saying why isn't it appropriate:

Crowds is the big one for me. It can get a bit squishy/squashy on exit and even sometimes when you are leaving in the streets. There's often a lot of stairs to deal with at the stadium and a fair walk bk to the car or ur transport.
Young kids get bored, obvs baby won't know any different.
The language/songs can somewhat colourful for little ears.
I wldnt have thought the noise wld be too bad. I imagine for a young kid that wld be the fun part not sure re a baby. I remember my baby going mental with the kicking (while I was pregnant) at my last game which was an old firm game and the noise was unbelievable. I was wondering whether I shld have been there at all as it didn't feel right and I knew I was doing the right thing not going bk after that point.

I stopped going when I was 6months pregnant because it's also not an environment for a pregnant lady either. Previous to that I wld come in early and leave early to avoid the crowds. But even folk getting up and down to the toilet and me having to get up and down to let them past and it's tight so they wld brush my bump. I wasn't visibly pregnant at that point either my bump as was small and it was winter so my coat hid it.

I agree. Mumsnet advise on babies is always bonkers. If I told my mum I was taking her grand daughter to a football match tonight, she'd probably call social services.

I'd go NC if my mum did that, or even considered it. SS have lots of genuine cases to deal with and spreading them thinly is not helping anyone!