To think it's bad friend has taken 10 month old to the football tonight?

[wineislife21]

With no ear defenders, surrounded by a crowd of people, in this December weather?
She always says he still wakes her up at night.. but has no bedtime routine and then does stuff like this!?

In my book that is very wrong, won't be gone till gone 10pm!!

My Don's came to music festivals younger than that, albeit with ear defenders. Not all parents are bad if they don't have a strict routine with their children.

Sons

Sounds very irresponsible to me.

I expect he'll let her know if he's not happy! Babies are good at that.

I wouldnt have done it with mine.

People do harp on about other cultures being terribly flexible and keeping kids up all hours etc but these out of context comments are pretty meaningless really, given that sleep habits are intertwined with wider cultural patterns around meals, work & family life, often influenced by climate, religion, family structure.

For eg lots of countries where children tend to be up about into the evenings are hot ones where it's very hot early afternoon, it's not pleasant to be out so long naps are common and then people are out later in the evenings when its cooler. This isn't generally applicable in the UK.

Not to mention sleep is just one cog in an overall culture. There have been concerns for years in many parts of Asia for example that long working hours and high amounts of homework mean that kids there may not get enough sleep.

Yes, the Brits and Americans are fairly focussed on babies & kids getting plenty of sleep & having regular routines to promote that, I don't think that's a bad thing. If anything I wish we took as much care as adults to prioritise our sleep needs, given the health advantages.

It's fine.

@miltonj

In other European countries they take their babies out at all hours and they fit in with their life. It's our culture that is obsessed with kids bedtimes.

Yep, Asia too. When I first moved here I made some off the cuff comment to a local friend about how OBVIOUSLY we couldn't go to some event because it was past the children's bedtime and she looked at me like I was truly mental

The lack of ear defenders might be an issue. One of my DC would have most likely been scared by that noise level at 10 months and so I would never have put them in that situation. Her baby may have a different disposition though? He Probably does since his life doesn't seem to have much structure. The bedtime thing isn't bad at all really. Again I would never have done it as I had a strict bedtime routine from birth with all of mine but while I do think my DC benefitted from it, it was mostly for my own sanity. Many parents take a more laissez-faire approach and it works out just fine for them.

You do seem a bit judgmental but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt as I remember watching my own sister (who was an incredibly loving, devoted mother) make so many rods for her back and feeling so frustrated. She became so ground down by it all and it was difficult to watch, particularly when I knew most of it could have been avoided with a bit more structure and consistency. I offered up advice when she asked but ultimately people are going to parent in their way and - unless actual harm is coming to the baby - you have to respect that.

Actually the worst part of all is how much of a headache it will be to try to contain a ten month old for that amount of time! Hellish idea for all involved IMO

At this time of year, if babies aren't getting up in the morning, they're not seeing much day light. I'm sticking with my 7-7 routine.

I took a 10 month old to Glastonbury. And every year since with her siblings as they came along at 3.5, 11 and 4 months old respectively.
We saw the foo fighters, biffy Clyro, kings of Leon, arcade fire, Adele, white stripes..all kinds. None of them died. Or went deaf.

Jesus the people saying it’s none of your business should be ashamed.
It’s bad parenting. And bad parenting is everyone’s business. Have we learnt nothing from recent events? I know it’s not in the same league, but I truly believe if we didn’t have such a “none of my business” attitude, fewer children would suffer.

My 9 month old has no bed time. He sleeps when he's ready. Early evening that's usually on my lap or in the sling dozing on and off, then by the time I'm ready for bed so is he, and we snuggle down together. He wouldn't sleep in a cot on his own, and I'm not going to bed at 7pm to enforce a routine.

He comes to all sorts of places with me of an evening. Sleeps through most of it. Visiting, small parties, restaurants. I don't like football but if I did, he'd come there too!

None of my kids had a bedtime routine

Yes, football is tediously boring, poor kid

I also don't know what sort of football ground everyone else goes to, but where I am, the obligatory half time toilet visit is a thoroughly unpleasant experience and certainly not somewhere I'd want to change a baby's nappy...

@OhWhyNot

Of course it’s ridiculous

A 10 month old will not enjoy the football
It’s crowded and very cold

I have no issues children being up late on occasions (I took ds out for dinner and shopping late) but not a football match

So it's ok if you deem the activity worthwhile?

Really?
Just because your child can't cope with a one off adjustment to their sleeping habits? Mine did manage fine, years ago, if I ever needed to change things as a one off.

And I disagree entirely on the fact the whole world has become even more child / baby obsessed. What about adults. What if adults want to do something. Children are actually normally very pliable and can just fit it.

Ear defenders? Is this all the norm these days, for goodness sake.
How loud do you think a premier league game is? I took my 2 teens recently and we thought it was quiet!

And cold? Yes it's cold. But if you wrap up warm you are surrounded by others so you don't get the chill factor. You are protected. It's probably colder and more exposed walking in the park, or even walking from your house to the car door!

"It’s bad parenting." No. It's not.

"Recent events"? You can't seriously be comparing this to the Arthur death?

@Bagamoyo1

Jesus the people saying it’s none of your business should be ashamed. It’s bad parenting. And bad parenting is everyone’s business. Have we learnt nothing from recent events? I know it’s not in the same league, but I truly believe if we didn’t have such a “none of my business” attitude, fewer children would suffer.

If you are in any way comparing this with Arthur, which I presume you mean by recent events? Then get a grip, it's nothing like starving, poisoning and beating a child is it?

I hope you're proud of yourself OP, if your friend reads this and feels people are comparing her child's life to Arthur's I'm sure she'll be really grateful to you?

If the poster thinks this is a case for SS, which is utter rubbish, no wonder the Arthur's in this world get missed.

@AllesAusLiebe

I also don't know what sort of football ground everyone else goes to, but where I am, the obligatory half time toilet visit is a thoroughly unpleasant experience and certainly not somewhere I'd want to change a baby's nappy...

Do you change your baby's nappy every 45 minutes?

None of my children had a set bedtime until they were about 3, and certainly not at 10 months old. If it gets too loud for the child I’m sure he will vocally let his mother know. I can’t see a problem with this, sounds like your friend is making the most of her child being at a portable age.

Does your friend know how much you judge her? I think you should tell her instead of slagging her off online.

YABU.

Everyone minding their own business is how kids like Arthur get murdered by their parents without any intervention

Assuming if you’re in this country it was a L1 or 2 game that was on last night. They don’t get huge turnouts at that level so it would hardly be deafening chanting!
YABU and judgy.