To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?

[catmum789]

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

@gamerchick

You have had a vision into your future life when you move in with this bloke.

Begrudging his kid food doesnt bode well for the future either.

Personally I wouldn't move in with him. I predict shit and misery all round with a baby in the mix and a small child being around a stepmum who doesn't seem to like him much.

That's just going on your post though.

She’s not begrudging his kid food. Get a fucking grip of those judgy pants before they disappear so far up your arsehole you never get them down. She begrudges him being a lazy shit and specifically eating the food she has batch cooked to save time and energy as parents to a new baby instead of cooking for his son himself, like he should be.

OP, YANBU - he’s being a lazy and selfish sod. Tell him he has to replace what he has used already and not eat any more. He can batch cook for himself if he likes the convenience!

OP you made the cardinal sin of mentioning a stepchild. Now everyone’s laser focused on that cuz stepmoms are always Satan!

YANBU to be angry. The selfish fucker should replace the food.

I get told I'm hormonal all of the time and don't have any friends or family to talk to

Who tells you this OP? Would it be father of the year who can't be arsed to feed his own child?

Or women who think that you should be doing his parenting for him and should ignore the fact that your work calls are inappropriate hearing for a young child?

The OP has been pretty clear, she didn't cater for the child in her batch cooking because he hasn't liked her food in the past and she felt it was overly spiced and salty for him. He has two actual parents responsible for feeding him.

For feckless dad to to just grab the food planned for early baby weeks and stick it on the child's plate to save himself any effort its definitely a glass ball telling the future. OP will soon find herself the default parent of the DSS as well as her own child.

Don't marry this prince and don't give up or compromise your own job.

No matter whose freezer it was in, the DP knew it was meals for after the baby’s birth and he went ahead and ate them.

1. Preparing food for what is going to be a new experience ( first time mum as it reads to me) when you’ve had an eating disorder in the past is 100% sensible.
2. Wouldn’t hurt dad to prepare meals for his son. Child size of portions of things he’ll eat with less spices/ salt as OP described.

Think you need to have a conversation with him ::: DP, I need you to replace the meals you took from the freezer. You cook those, I’ll make a batch of ( something simple) and they will ALL stay in the freezer until after baby is born.
Yes, he was thoughtless but it was only eaten food. He seems to look after his son ok ( it’s an old term but the “good enough parent”) so no reason to think he won’t do the same with the new child.

Bloody hell OP, what sort of madness is going on on this thread?!

OP has cooked a load of food to keep in the freezer so it can be reheated and eaten after the baby is born.

Her DP is eating this food now. That is very wrong of him. He stupid is he that he does not understand “this food is for after the baby arrives?” What is more, he knows that OP has had an eating disorder in the past and she is trying her best to avoid what she knows will be triggers to stop eating again.

And now people are deciding that his motivation for eating this food with his son is that he wants to make some sort of point to OP that she was not thinking about his son when she did the batch cooking. So to teach her a lesson he’s feeding it to his son! What nonsense.

He’s feeding it to his son because he is lazy and it is there.

This is doubly stupid as it is food that is not suitable for a nursery-aged child, due to fat and salt content.

The child also eats a hot meal at nursery (where he is until 5, so will have that served at teatime) so does not need a full hot meal upon coming home. It’s clear that the idea post-baby was for the adults to eat the adult food after the child was in bed and the child to have some easily put-together, child friendly light meal between nursery and bed time. That is completely reasonable! Exactly what we have been doing with our son since he was weaned.

OP your partner is an arse and so are most of the people who have responded to you on here!

Some of the comments on this thread are absolutely insane.

Really don't understand the pile on here.

OP, your partner sounds like a dick. He knew what the meals were for, knew how much effort it took you to make them, knows how ill you've been and why you were making them...

Yet still ate them because he couldn't be arsed cooking for him and his son.

It's depressing how many great women hook up with total twats and think the twats are decent men.

@Suzanne999

No matter whose freezer it was in, the DP knew it was meals for after the baby’s birth and he went ahead and ate them.

1. Preparing food for what is going to be a new experience ( first time mum as it reads to me) when you’ve had an eating disorder in the past is 100% sensible.
2. Wouldn’t hurt dad to prepare meals for his son. Child size of portions of things he’ll eat with less spices/ salt as OP described.

Think you need to have a conversation with him ::: DP, I need you to replace the meals you took from the freezer. You cook those, I’ll make a batch of ( something simple) and they will ALL stay in the freezer until after baby is born.
Yes, he was thoughtless but it was only eaten food. He seems to look after his son ok ( it’s an old term but the “good enough parent”) so no reason to think he won’t do the same with the new child.

It’s not ‘only’ eaten food if you have had an eating disorder , and a stressful event like giving birth is likely to send you spiralling into back into old habits. Not thoughtless, more serious than that. Selfish and inconsiderate

And it's also depressing how many posters have decided to jump-shift to accusing the OP of being a bad stepmother who doesn't care for her partner's young son because she's apparently "begrudging" him food!

Insane.

@HaveringWavering 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

OP

I have just read some of your previous threads.

This one is already full of red flags - but some of your previous ones add even more.

Please please think very hard about buying a house with and moving in with and marrying this man.

@FourTeaFallOut

Because the son eats at nursery!

But if he wasn't still hungry he wouldn't have eaten the batch cooking. Clearly the food from nursery is not enough.

He eats a hot meal at nursery. He does not need an additional hot adult meal after nursery. If he is hungry there are plenty of easily -prepared lighter options they could give him.

@Oldtiredfedup

OP

I have just read some of your previous threads.

This one is already full of red flags - but some of your previous ones add even more.

Please please think very hard about buying a house with and moving in with and marrying this man.

Agreed. @catmum789 you should move back to your family and support network.

Why can't the lazy twat cook for his own son instead of eating all the food you made for postpartum.
Sod living with him. No way I'd move in with someone so selfish. Typical lazy selfish man only thinking of himself.

Agree that you cannot begrudge his child food!
The nursery meal may not be “ Hearty” as you state, but could be meagre, if it was that filling, he’d not be after more.
Doesn’t sound like a good relationship so far.
Lack of communication.

@CallmeHendricks

And it's also depressing how many posters have decided to jump-shift to accusing the OP of being a bad stepmother who doesn't care for her partner's young son because she's apparently "begrudging" him food!

Insane.

Insane but unsurprising on MN.

@oakleaffy

Agree that you cannot begrudge his child food! The nursery meal may not be “ Hearty” as you state, but could be meagre, if it was that filling, he’d not be after more. Doesn’t sound like a good relationship so far. Lack of communication.

She’s not begrudging the child food. She is saying that this particular food is not for the child.

Am I begrudging my son food every time I buy two steaks for my husband and me but feed my son pasta with tomato sauce for tea?

He absolutely must, 100%, replace these meals like for like as a condition of you moving in. No ifs, no buts. You stood, in pain, to make sure you had easy meals for when the baby is here. Knowing, no doubt, that he would not care for you and cook for you (he should be when you have a new baby).

This is an enormous red flag.

Of course he should be feeding your dss properly but that’s not what this thread is about.

@HaveringWavering

Am I begrudging my son food every time I buy two steaks for my husband and me but feed my son pasta with tomato sauce for tea?

Yes you are you evil witch same as I am every time I order a takeaway after bedtime. #sorrynotsorry

He also seems to have moved on very fast if he’s got another child due, with someone else (you) whilst his son is still at nursery.

What time did he spend being single in between partners on this schedule?

Omg, read the other threads!

Get the f away from this loser!

Don't buy a house together for goodness sake.

You will need childcare btw!

What time did he spend being single in between partners on this schedule?

Well OP says they’ve been together 3 years. So his son was very young when they got together. As was OP

I don’t think I could adequately articulate just how fucking rabid I would be in your position. Can I understand how you feel? Fuck yes I can 🤬

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

What time did he spend being single in between partners on this schedule?

Well OP says they’ve been together 3 years. So his son was very young when they got together. As was OP

Bit snarky aren't we?

What's ops age got to do with anything?